Nov. '99
As The World Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fighton the DALnet

Churn out a Post?

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 00:03:52 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

If you would like to see an example of what can happen to foul mouthed flame emailers who don't respect other's rights to free expression, go see the web's most ingenious page:


Its the gripping saga of Michael Bolton and his most idiotic fans,
Turkie Nazi and Tacki Fishkebob,
two anal retentive Molestation Agenda informants,
who stuck both feet in both mouths,
and haven't been able to extract them in over 6 months.
Come see how their words entwine them in mountains of garbage,
see them publicly humiliate themselves while being taunted by a captive audience.
If you like funny breasts, come see the images they sent to Dr. Popeye X,
trying in vain to WIN a bogus breast contest, see their silly tits on display,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year.
Take your time, stroll leisurely thru the rest of the website, get a few laughs, and come back to the UGLY TALK page. Turkie and Tacki aren't going anywhere, their presence is protected by the U. S Constitution, which will NEVER be changed, so feel free to enjoy some of the other pages on this popular website, the ugly tits of the TT's will always be waiting for you should you decide to want to take another look, and have another laugh.

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 04:45:07 (PST)

Ummm will someone please remind me not to piss off Popeye???

A Butter Patty from: RpmQ
on Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 23:51:52 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey. I'm still alive. Love the shitlist LOL Just glad I'm not in it!
Started my on business, doing design (go figure) and it's been good so far. Lotso work, which will hopefull pay off.
emails still the same, drop me a line iffn ya lost it.

oh yeah, and b()()bies.

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 21:21:47 (PST)

Congrats on the new business Rob!!!! Torie ever send you a thank you note...the ungrateful bitch.

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:04:18 (PST)

Hola guys and dolls:)

So at work tonight, "Godfathers Pizza" I was the 5th caller at the radio station and guess what I won? That's right I won a Pizza from Pizzahut LOL Go figure:) Thats all, now back to your regular scheduled programs:)


P.S. Nice webpage Rob

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 21:43:26 (PST)

Well guys I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it seems I finally got my asws a job, yes you all know what this means....
that weird Aussie guys is gunna be back real shitty quick, once again lowering the channel's average IQ back to where it's easy to count up to...
Give us about a month... actually ... 20 days is easier for me, I'd hate to have to borrow someone elses fingers and toes.
Oh yeah... I really hope those tits WERE shitty.. coz I cant check that shit out from this fucking library.

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 05, 1999 at 08:45:14 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Wait a minute.... Hey, SLi, I wasn't pissed off at those girls. They DESERVED to be enshrined, regardless of my personal feelings! They claim I hate them, but I keep telling them, THEY HATE ME, not the other way around. The truth is, I LIKE them very, very much. They have brought in so many readers, you wouldn't believe it. I have made more new friends from their bitching than any other source. Best of all, I met a very special person in my life when she wrote me to scold me in their behalf. In a very short time, we became really close friends, and there's no doubt in anybody's mind that I owe it all to that stupid page and those foul mouthed bitties. Don't say I'm pissed at them, I LOVE them! I really do! The ordeal is just a reflection of their own insane bullshit, which I refuse to put up with, anything on that page is just what they themselves have written. I added in a few tits, just to "get rid" of them, but they refused to go away! I give them a reason to wake up in the morning and have a cause to pursue all day long. Turkie has a Mr. Bolton's Music List over at Globelists, but the Anti Popeye X list has swamped the response to that pathetic hole-in-the-wall. Her best friend, Tacki, has posted on the Anti Popeye X list 10 times more often.
I don't get mad at stuff like disagreement, I USE it! I'm grateful to be hated so irrationally, its fascinating from a human interest point of view. The real truth is, Dr. Popeye X is an asshole, but he's a FICTIONAL asshole, the puppetmaster behind Dr. PPX is the "real" me, Kurt Otto, and KO is a notorious Sweetie Guy. I have impeccable credentials, as you will plainly see if you click on the above URL, it shows my little sweetheart, who loves me very much. Would a sweetie like that love me if I wasn't the Sweetie Guy I claim to be?
You can't piss me off, SLi, because you always act like a lady, and a sexy one at that. You charmed me from the beginning, and once you fell in love with me (haha), well I just can't help but let you get away with whatever your heart desires. As far as I'm concerned, SLi can do no wrong. Plus, her boyfriend is such a delightfully good friend of mine, I would do anything she asked of me, including SHUT THE FUCK UP, and that's the highest honor I can bestow.
Your eternal friend, The Sweetie Guy (Kurt Otto)

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 05, 1999 at 13:53:46 (PST)

shhhh.....Dont tell Doc...*wink*

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 13:15:46 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oh, SLi, your last post at The Anti Popeye X mailing list was a masterpiece! I never knew how SLiCK you could be! Doc is such a lucky man!

A Butter Patty from: Catwoman
on Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 13:40:30 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Kurt Otto is a sweetie guy.

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 08:55:59 (PST)

Were these people married in the "All-night Elvis Chapel and Motel?"

LAS VEGAS (Nov. 6) - A divorced couple couldn't agree on how to split their Beanie Baby collection, so a judge ordered them on Friday to divide up the babies one by one in a courtroom.

``It's ridiculous and embarrassing,'' said Frances Mountain, moments before squatting on the courtroom floor alongside her ex-husband to choose first from a pile of dozens of stuffed toys.

Maple the Bear was the first to go, as a few people in the gallery snickered.

Frances and Harold Mountain divorced four months ago and, according to the divorce decree, were supposed to split their Beanie Baby collection, estimated to be worth between $2,500 and $5,000.

But they failed to do so, and after Mountain filed a motion to get his share of the litter, the judge said he had had enough.

``Because you folks can't solve it, it takes the services of a ... judge, a bailiff and a court reporter,'' Family Court Judge Gerald Hardcastle told the ex-couple.

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 14:29:56 (PST)

I heard the Maple bear is a very good sexual device. Perhaps thats why it was the first to go..along with pinchey the lobster It's a fantasy come true.

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 16:58:14 (PST)

The Simpson's program description tonight looks absolutely facinating (11/7) "Bart and Homer cross breed a tomato plant with a tobacco plant to form a new addictive substance" I was trying to think of a little humerous quip to share but then I read that and realized I am just not that creative.. Gotta go watch this one..

A Butter Patty from: hoppe
on Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 20:14:06 (PST)

SIMPSONS?!? While Annie was on? Worthless heathen!

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 00:04:52 (PST)

just a quick thought... as i read the shit list, i realized that it was missing
one of our favorite people we love to hate... NEMUCA and his uni-breasted
girlfriend Starlock!!! doc, you can tell the story of her antics on the IRC
and his stupidity and offer a link to see the wonderful pic of starlock...
before and after you and mongo got your creative little mac cursors on it.
what a tender love story... let's hope they NEVER reproduce! just a

that is all.

A Butter Patty from: Catwoman
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 06:17:22 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Uni-breasted? I can't possibly imagine what that must be like. I mean that has to create quite the uneven weight distribution on the shoulders (ouch). Please I am so curious now, I want to see, I want to know. This sounds twisted enough to get me laughing pretty hard.

I must return to my tapped cell phone practice now.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 07:57:49 (PST)

Ive been desperate searching for a new slant on the personal page Im working on now...and Im thinkin...rants and logs of recent channel idiots will feature somewhere. The shit list has been such an overwhelming hit...Doc is so informative (and cute too)

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 09:32:37 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

There needs to be a permanent Shitlist Button so it can be accessed at all times.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 11:02:15 (PST)

can we automate the shitlist?? I mean some sort of java script that allows us to add dumbasses and shit wits at will????

A Butter Patty from: Catwoman
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 13:08:47 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I'm tired now. Tapped cell phones are very demanding instruments. Kitty Kat Needs a Nap.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 14:23:53 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

A while back in the barn, I was talking about
an artist whose goal is to liberate the
swastika from the taint of fascict horror,
but I couldn't find the url; here it is. And
read the page before you all get silly on

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 14:31:15 (PST)

Re: suggestions on shitlist; how about (they fucked themselves)?

Why is Pale's posts always cut off at at the end? Is that an ethnic thing?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 16:16:22 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

No Ed, that problem isnt ethnic, its an operting systems issue. It seems that Macintosh operating systems dont allow you your constitutionally granted right to free speech, it censors your thoughts and ideas and stops them before the world can be plagued with the ideas that you possess. But funny, ya dont see anyone in the judicary dept grabbing their memos and screwing their investors out of millions do you? Monopoly my ass!
I would like to thank my favorite machead, DrForrester at this time...seems the whole justice dept was sent flame email with the gfy site URL attached...hahahhahhahahhahahahaa

A Butter Patty from: hoppe
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 16:41:29 (PST)


I checked out the swastika page. I know that native americans still use their swastika extensively, only it breaks the opposite way from the nazi version. My luck would be to wear it, as a statement of support for oppressed hopi indians or something, and the only people who wouldn't spit on me would be really diehard nazis who would merely correct me. Either way, you would have to have giant brass balls to wear their friends of the swastika t-shirt.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:23:30 (PST)

OK, time to respond to some of the posts aimed in my direction.

One thing all the losers on the shitlist have in common, other than the fact that they are all incredible assholes, is that they were, at one time, accepted into our little channel and showed up on a regular basis. Nemuca and his cunt-queen girlfriend were never regulars in the channel, although Nemuca showed up on a regular basis for a couple of weeks before going off his medication, and subsequently, his rocker. The shitlist is reserved for those who hung around for a long time, demonstrated to a whole bunch of people that they were asswipes, and were given many chances to knock off the stupidity before finally being banned. There are many freaks in the history of A.R.F. who were never in the channel for any other purpose than to show off what nincompoops they were. I won't give them the satisfaction of reading about their own misdeeds, which would only serve to thrill many of them. Only when the response is a whiny, cowardly one like LlamaJolt's am I assured that I added the right person to the ol' fecal roster. People who are on the list are not the type to be proud of being exposed for the fuckheads they are. But thanks for the idea.

Good idea, perhaps a link to the shitlist right from the Churn is in order.

Mr. Gates:
I am forwarding all the calls I am now getting from Janet Reno directly to you. Mrs. Reno has also submitted your name for possible inclusion in the shitlist.

I will add your pic to the home page even though it means breaking all the rules. The home page is normally reserved for regulars in the channel, but Popeye-X is such a sweetie guy, what else can I do?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 08, 1999 at 23:49:21 (PST)

What goes;




(An Amish drive-by shooting!)

A Butter Patty from: Catwoman
on Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 04:10:31 (PST)

Doc, you sound like a sweetie guy yourself, just for putting my pic there. Thank you!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 10:22:25 (PST)

The churn seems a bit... tense these days, don't it? Thought I would add to the fire a bit. Popeye-x, I've been doing some research and I believe you may bring legal action against TurkieNasty and Fishkeboff. They came to *your* website and started ranting, ironically, about child abuse and Michael Boltneck. I never saw the connection, but if these people are playing bolton cd's at their kids, well...

While that in itself is not illegal, the part about "I just got this response from the police in San Antonio, and thought you might want to see it. (snip) Subject: I am writing to you about a concern I have about one of your citizens... Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 From: {a police man in SAPD} To: {Tacki}
Actually we get complaints like this all the time. An individual like yourself tries to have a reasoned discussion with somebody like Mr. Otto. (Ed note: reasoned?) (snip) The law is not clear as to whether or not he is committing a criminal act by doing this. (snip) I looked at his site and I also found it to be offensive."

Tame as that sounds, her turning you in to the cops is a violation of your first amendment rights, even if they don't haul your sorry ass to jail like they should, just on suspicions that you are a weird sumbitch. The cop's opinion amounts to conspiracy to defame.

OK, now for my opinion; it would be a really chickenshit thing to go after them for, with almost no chance of winning. People sue each other over the tiniest bullshit these days, and it really pisses me off. But wouldn't it be fun? You don't need a lawyer, and you can subpoena her phone records, email, computer, whatever you want. You can go after the cops for publically calling your site; (rightfully, BTW) "offensive."

Just a thought for chapter two. Hell, maybe you can haul Boltneck into court and make him screech out Hank Williams tunes just to win over the jury. Never know...


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 10:43:06 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Yeah, Ed, you're probably right, but really, I'm not mad they said that, I'm GLAD. Also, I HOPE they were offended, right down to the tips of their toes. I liked when the cop said, "The problem arises when he starts exercising his right to be offensive." How can I sue language like that? I LOVE it! However, (and there is always a however), the idea of harassing Traci Kishbaugh for snitching me off sounds very inviting. If I had a lawyer egging me on, I'd do it in a heartbeat. That SAPD e-mail was "stolen" off of a Globelist where Kishbaugh had posted it, just to show off what a snitch she was, she's ineffective, but very "proud". One of my "operatives" snatched it off of there and gave it to me. Its perfect for my page, don't you think?

A Butter Patty from: Catwoman
on Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 11:11:07 (PST)

That SAPD message fits in perfectly, especially after reading all that has been going on. I've been getting private messages from one of the T's too, but that was a while back. As much as I wanted to help them out at first, I soon found out there was no point in doing that. KO is a sweetie guy and they are too stubborn to see that.

*Ducking from that Amish drive-by shooting*

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 14:59:35 (PST)

You realise I had to post... I was waiting and waiting for anybody to say anything so I could reply with the first thing that came to my mind. But I just couldn't wait anymore. I had to do this. I am just so curious, one day it might just kill me! I had to see for myself...

I had to see if the pic would work...

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 05:13:48 (PST)

I have been away...WAY too long!

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 14:20:04 (PST)

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."
"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."
"That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"
"He said the reflector is broken."
"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"
"I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake..."

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 18:08:46 (PST)

luna, Luna, LUNA!!!!!!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 12, 1999 at 17:19:48 (PST)


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 12, 1999 at 18:41:43 (PST)


A Billy AND a luna sighting in the same week!!

I better check my medication.

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 12, 1999 at 23:44:42 (PST)

Hey everyone:) Kewl Pic Catwoman almost as cute as mine:) HEY gonna be at the FSU vs Maryland game tommorrow WOOHOO i'm so excited free tickets on the 40 yard line WOOHOO, I even got a new FSU shirt and Hat to wear WOOHOO of course I have 10 other FSU hats sitting on the bookshelfs I could have just worn, but OH well you only live once:) OK back to your regular scheduled programs:)


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 14:45:17 (PST)

Fitzy are you going to paint your naked body strange colors and lead cheers in your seat section?

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 13:40:52 (PST)

As one of our number, Ms DiscoQueen herself, quickly approaches the state of holy matrimony it is time to offer sage advice to the blushing bride. All are encouraged to add to the advice to help this young Amish lass navigate the perils of marrige, horse shoeing and butter churning.

1. Never confuse your husbands penis for the butter churn. Although this technique can be applied, the butter should be placed liberaly over the member and not on the handle of the churn.

2. When canning fruits and vegtables in your very hot no air condishioned kitchen and your husband wants to drag you out to the barn, remind him his fruits can easy be preserved using this technique.

3. Never compare your husbands member to your stallions member after mucking out his stall. This leads to jealousy and terrible acquisations. Just remember whos slops belong to whom.

4. At the quilting bee on Saturday night do not call the other quilters "girlfirend", "Bitches" or "hoes". This leads to much speculation where you have been driving your carriage on Monday night. The Amish bar and grill at the truck stop is not where a plain girl should hang .

4a. Being a bar fly is not the same as baking shoe fly pie.

5. A barn raising is not when your husband gets a stiffy while milking the cows.

6. Even though plain on the outside Victoria Secret underneath.

Now we know there is much more advice that needs to be given to our DiscoQueen so pass on the wisdom before she heads to the alter.

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 17:10:29 (PST)

Where is the shit list? I missed it...

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 17:16:58 (PST)

Oh shit.. I found it : )

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 19:44:32 (PST)

Did I just see a Luna post???

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 18:41:27 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Ed Zeppelin has actually outdone Ed Zeppelin this time. See above URL. In case that doesn't work (you never know, at least I don't), see "ED TRANSLATES TURKIE INTO REDNECK... SEE PHOTO" at
Ed, you absolutely make me laugh my fucking ass off!
If this makes no sense to any people on the Churn, I apologize, but your fellow Churnite, Ed Zeppelin, is killing me. I had to tell somebody.

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 20:54:00 (PST)

I have come to the conclusion that this HAS
to be popeye x and ed. No ifs and or, well,
maybe some butts. I sure as hell ain't checking.

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 22:56:50 (PST)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 00:32:54 (PST)

Yeow! Anybody who actually went to that link, wondering wtf that's all about; I copied Turkie Nazi's original rant (somehow equating Michael Bolton with child abuse, go figger) and ran it through "redneck" mode at then sent it to popeye-x.

It has to be one of the strangest rants of all time, even without converting it to trailer-park speak. It seems to be going somewhere, then something in the back of your mind reminds you that it's supposed to be about Michael Bolton. Too weird even for me. Maybe people are punishing their children by playing Bolton CD's at them until they clean up their rooms or something. (The pic is Popeye-x and Don Knotts, you figure out which is which.)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 16:53:33 (PST)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 17:25:30 (PST)

heheh I just wanted to say it too...
what a kickass word

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 19, 1999 at 04:22:02 (PST)

Well, Dr. Popeye X does it again. You may have heard of the bonfire log tragedy at Texas A&M University that killed 11 students. We have a tradition of Aggie jokes down here, so me & Mike Taylor came up with a timely gem, and that seems to have incured the wrath of my fellow Texans, and that's putting it mildly. Here's the joke:
Q: How many Aggies does it take to build a bonfire?
A: 11, if you soak them in alcohol first.

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 05:19:09 (PST)

I've been doing some research, and I think I may be able to sue myself for sexual harrassment. Now, I've been talking about it for a while, but I wasn't sure the evidence would stand up in court.

After the Bolton/child abuse debacle, I know that anything is possible. Just the other morning I secretly taped myself saying suggestive things to me, like "woo hoo, nice ass" and "jeez, would you look at the size of that thing!" and later I caught myself leaving a note in my desk that said I would fuck my brains out if I only wasn't married.

This has got to stop. I've warned myself time and again to cut it out, and even called the TEXAS. POLICE. on myself, but they said I could do whatever I want, it's a free country.

I'd like to ask your help and advice. I know Popeye-x once was arrested for assault with a dead weapon, and Doc wrote a tune called "one-handed love affair," so they probably won't be much help in getting me to leave me alone, but the rest of you...

Oh God, I need help.


A Butter Patty from: Glasshole
on Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 09:40:06 (PST)

I have a few suggestions, Ed.

First thing you need to do is realize that you are a real person with wants and needs similar to your own. You should discuss those needs with yourself and come to an equitable solution. Maybe over dinner.

I strongly suggest, however, that you refrain from any physical contact on a first date as that will cause you to consider yourself an easy piece which will eventually lead to your dumping yourself which will bring on severe depression and possibly a rebound affair or two which will further lower your self esteem.

If you can't work things out amiably with yourself you may have to get a restraining order issued and sign up for the witness protection program. You'll end up in some bumfuck berg outside of Salt Lake in a shitbox overpriced two bedroom ranch always looking over your shoulder and keeping the ratty dusty out of style drapes drawn while you eke out a subsistence based on catfood and saltines.

One day you'll mosey into your wretched living room to discover that you are there with you. All alone. It will start up all over again.

Do it now Ed. Talk to yourself before it's too late!

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 10:48:56 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Let me share my pain with you, it may be of some comfort.... I wandered alone into a "Romance Afer 40" mailing list, unaware of the dangers of Internet sex-geezer hang-outs. I was immediately taken prisoner to a porn site called The Information Slave Ranch, where I found out, much to my dismay, that's not "After 40" years, its "After 40" guys! It was disgusting, almost too disgusting to admit now, but I feel I owe you a taste of my pain. I was ruthlessly GANG-CHATTED by toothless old cyber-bum sluts like Cyber Barbie, Texas Teddy Bear, and The Dildog (apparently part of Bolton's road crew), and after they had their way with me, I was left naked and bruised on an abandoned stretch of the Information Dirt Road, with the letters, "S.P.A.M." written on my buttocks with a Red Marksalot! (No telling what they stand for!) I've already had my underwear ruffled by filthy minded Toiletside Reader scum-bags, I DON'T NEED TO BE RAPED TWICE! If this disgusts you, or even if you're one of "his" friends, who thinks its really funny, go to the above URL, and see if you don't agree something can and should be done about this travesty of my psychosexual purity. I know what Ed is going thru! After my first bad experience on the Net, all I have to do is get a "whiff" of a nasty e-mail, and I am compelled to single handedly gang rape myself like a spider monkey on biker crank. Now this "Catwoman" person has been stalking me with a celery .jpg everywhere I go, but once the new Vegetable Abuse Laws are passed, she will be in for a serious "rudabega-ning"! Pass the word! Show your pride! Post your pain! Share your fluids! DNA shouldn't have to hurt!

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 06:03:12 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Its that time again :)

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 20:11:40 (PST)

I think I could watch that thing for weeks on end.

Oh and send me some pie miss luna!!!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 22, 1999 at 02:37:07 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Watch out Dr. Popeye X, I'm stalking you. I can stalk everybody here, just watch out!

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 22, 1999 at 09:13:48 (PST)

You know...I thought the Loofa Bath Sponge Chicken was slightly kinky...but the whole celery thing is a bit bothersome.
Btw....I love the new animated churn...all be it rather phallic in nature,then again thats prolly why.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 22, 1999 at 09:19:50 (PST)

Oh I almost forgot...there is a motion on the floor to add MooniGirl (aka the former Lady_FlashHeart aka Farah aka whorebitchdogwithwolfdickbreath) to the shitlist, she certainly gives the other tramps on the list something to aspire to. You know...Im wishing we had the members of the shitlists mailing addresses we could print up lil certificates (suitable for framing naturally)
Just a thought
Smooches again

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 22, 1999 at 15:23:29 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Things are picking up on the Anti Popeye X list, Traci is in infuriated mode tonight:

Kurt Otto wrote:
> Oh, Catwoman, hush up! You're just jealous these other ladies have such a keen interest in the "sexiest man on the Net", Dr. Popeye X!

Traci replies:
Now I'm definitely convinced that you are a stalker. Check it out. One
of the signs is you think we're in love with you, want to have sex with
you, etc. Let me just say this about you. You are a disgusting pig
and I don't want to have ANYTHING to do with you.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 22, 1999 at 21:22:15 (PST)

animation for the christans and those who abuse them selves...I love it!!!!!

PopeyeX loved the aggie joke got a big laugh here now if we could soak my soon to be ex in alchol but his expanded head might explode causing great pain and discomfort to those in need of a good old fashioned burning.

A Butter Patty from: They Call Him The Srapper
on Monday, November 22, 1999 at 23:00:12 (PST)

Now I'm definitely convinced dat ya' is a srapper. Check it out. Man! One uh de signs be ya' dink we's in love wid ya', wanna gots sex wid ya', etc. Co' got d' beat! Let me plum say dis about ya'. You's is a disgustin' pig and ah' duzn't wanna gots ANYTHING t'do wid ya'.

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 00:46:27 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

The Srapper sez: Hey, Alice, glad somebody liked that Aggie joke. My fellow Texans DID NOT, and that's putting it mildly. Nobody likes to laugh anymore.Speaking of which, tomorrow, Traci Kishbaugh is going to have a fit when she reads SLi's latest offering. Traci posted 17 times yesterday, she has to be read to be believed. She has a Monkees Lovers Forever fan club, and I've been challenging her on Monkees trivia, since I happen to be a big fan, and it is something else to see her get mad about that shit. I suggested that, since we both like it, "Door Into Summer" by the Monkees was OUR song, she did not take kindly to that suggestion.I can't remember what it was at the moment, but something Alice said cracked me up on a couple of posts, keep it up, we need MORE joy and LESS anger! This is coming from the same guy who's pissing Traci Kishbaugh off as a sick (but successful) hobby.

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 02:00:29 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Here's another little quote from the goings on of yesterday's frenzy at the Anti Popeye X mailing list:

PPX: I think its not too outlandish to start thinking in terms of some kind of 3-way between us. I'm not joking!

Traci: That's the problem. You're not joking, and that is sick. Nothing you have said anywhere, not even on your site is the least bit amusing. And if you were trying to be funny on that list, even if it was sarcasm, I'd recognize it. The problem is you are dead serious and have everyone, including yourself, believing it is humor.

Doc, do you rrealize the effect of typing in these sexy posts and watching that churn pole go up & down, up & down, up & down....? Its bad enough with all the "pillow talk" I'm getting, seeing that plunger is doing things to my "lower" nature I won't be responsible for!

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 05:36:57 (PST)


/me looks at the animated churn

no comment

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at09:47:03 (PST)

I will now share with you all my 'broken' (meaning good) broccoli salad I make every year for Thanksgiving. This should be made two days before the dinner for best flava.

2-3 bunches (heads?) broccoli chopped into sizes just too large to fit comfortably into mouth
(I like to watch people get sauce on their cheek)

1 bottle of honey poppyseed salad dressing

2 cups of chopped Craisins

1 or so of pine nuts

mix and let sit for a while

So you can sub raisins and sunflower seed, but that's so 80's compared to my new and improved ingredients for a socially conscious 90 type of person

that is all :)

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 17:11:03 (PST)

Here's my recipe for Greek salad. It can be made the day before you throw it away, but some people like to make it just before dinner so they can throw it away (or up) immediately.

1 head of lettuce
2 tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup feta cheese, broken up and deodorized with benzine
1 cup greek olives, pitted
1 cup vaseline
1 dustpan floor-sweepings (optional, for authentic deli taste)

Mix all ingredients in large bowl, reserve half the vaseline. Just before serving, apply vaseline to favorite body parts, put on Barry White CD, whisper "fuck dinner" to each other and order chinese take-out. Wrap salad in dry-cleaning bag and throw away, with as much force as possible. Serves 2, or 4-5 people if you're in California.

A Butter Patty from: Hoppe
on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 at 11:38:28 (PST)

Here's my personal thanksgiving dish:

~apply can opener to can of Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce (buy the whole berry rather than the jellied, people will call you a hack when you leave the room if you make this faux pas, also look for the cans that say "fancy", I don't know why . .I'm just more impressed by this)
~turn can over, apply opener to other end.
~push out cran-cylinder onto fancy little crystal dish (be sure to remove the lid ends, I forgot one year. .it was tough to explain why I had tin garnish on my dish)
~cut slices about every half inch
~cover with saran wrap, throw in car, head to grandmas to eat with people who REALLY know how to cook

This dish has made me a legend in my family, people always ask if I'll be bringing it again this year. I consider it my greatest culinary success.

A Butter Patty from: hoppe
on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 at 12:20:15 (PST)

My sea monkeys are doomed! I am leaving for Ft Worth for the holiday, and sadly they will be left here to fend for themselves. The people who designed the "micro-vue aquarium" stupidly made it too big to fit in my cup-holder. I am thinking of freezing them until I return. Has anyone had any success with cryogenic sea monkey re-animation?. . Anyone?

A Butter Patty from: Captain Spillage
on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 at 13:50:34 (PST)

I would just treat them like any other frozen shrimp, just don't cook them after they thaw.

Oh shit! I hope I am not bursting any bubbles here. Sea Monkeys are shrimp, right?

I would like to see you cross-breed them with your cat and see if youget tiger prawns.

A Butter Patty from: Hoppe
on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 at 16:38:07 (PST)

Shrimp?!? Wha-what do you mean shrimp? (bottom lip quivering) You mean they aren't tiny little monkeys with 14 legs? Guess I'd better quit dropping those banana chips in the water. There goes my retirement plan as well. . I was going to grow them to normal size and then give them little cups to beg for money as I fulfilled my life-long ambition of becoming an organ grinder. (sobbing uncontrollably)

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 04:44:45 (PST)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 10:36:40 (PST)

HappyTurkey day also:) Kinda hard to type in the message area without getting turned on with the BUTTERCHURN pumping away:)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 11:09:16 (PST)

Happy "let's share a meal with the indians,
cause we are gonna slaughter them soon" day.
I personally have a lot to be thankful for.
Just don't know whom to thank.

A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 11:38:53 (PST)


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 26, 1999 at 03:03:14 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

To every thing...

churn, churn, churn....

there is a season...

churn, churn, churn....


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 26, 1999 at 18:13:58 (PST)

Some real IRC news for a change; some of us have to use AOL. I've been on it for 8 years, and it's only because I live in the boonies. For the last couple of days, when we try to get on Dalnet/IRC, we get this message;

*** Autokilled for You are not welcome on this network. Email for more information. The reason you are banned is: Due to your domain's unwillingness or inability to deal with abuse issues, you are no longer welcome on DALnet. Please contact (1999/11/26 20.59)

from the newsgroup alt.irc.dalnet; LadyMorgaine wrote in message
>> It's not that is huge. Lord knows, I've certainly akilled my
>> share of huge domains. The problem is pinpointing the *exact* abuser,
>> in your case for example. In the case of AOL, the problem was so
>> widespread, and AOL refuses to deal with it, because the user isn't
>> abusing *THEIR* system, they don't care. * does care, and
>> we've gotten responses from them. Perhaps you could try, on your own,
>> to email with complete logs and time stamps for them. Be
>> aware, that * is a bandwidth reseller, if the user is not a
>> * customer, I don't know if they'll forward it to the proper
>> downstream provider or not, but odds are, that they won't give you the
>> right downstream provider either. Obviously, if Lexington, KY for
>> * becomes a big enough problem, we certainly will deal with it,
>> with an akill. But for one user? No.
>> LadyMorgaine

This is apparently the person who banned the largest ISP in the world from using Dalnet. I hope she's ready for the shit-storm headed her way. Hope she hasn't become too comfortable in that house she lives in, because I'll bet on some lawyer owning it in about 5 years. Who knows, maybe she'll like living out of her car. That was stupid. Maybe she should have tried holding her breath until she turned blue, or asking Turkie Nazi for a sane comment.

Somebody please give some advice, and let BiteMeElmo in #Really_bad_advice know what became of me.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 26, 1999 at 19:05:08 (PST)

Ed can is skip the vaseline and just spread the salad all over me before the fuck me baby line? Vaseline is so tough to clean off and breaks me out. With the floor sweepings in the salad we could have hours of friction fun while nibbling feta chunks. Aww pillow talk with salad all over how romantic.

I believe the new chrun animation has effected me.

A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 26, 1999 at 23:42:45 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

The breakfast of monopolists everywhere.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, November 26, 1999 at 23:51:13 (PST)

I was so friggin' mad that I included the wrong quote from Lady Morgaine. Here is the correct one, again from alt.irc.dalnet;

Okay, here's what's going on, as I stated earlier in the week, that if didn't respond, I would autokill them. Tonight, I did just

The message they get, is to contact And the message
they get from KLine is the same basic thing. Most of them that have
already written to KLine (approx 400 already) cc'd their mail to

Since AOL refused to respond to DALnet, perhaps they'll be more
receptive to their 100's of unhappy users.

If you are an AOL user, and you were not part of the problem, I
apologize. I'm well aware of how many subscribers AOL has, and how
many people I'm denying access to DALnet. That doesn't change the
fact, that my primary function is to protect the people that are not
causing a problem, and people who's domains do respond to our reports
of abuse. AOL clearly has no wish to deal with this, nor do they

LadyMorgaine []
Director of KLine

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 05:25:04 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Damn, Ed! Its exactly like a Turkie Nazi vendetta. Don't you hate it when ONE controlling bitch, (female or male), puts her/his thumb down, and thereby squelches the freedom of 1000's of people? Ed, you ought to be able to make her life hell some way. You are a very resourceful chap when you want to be. (Is that putting it mildly enough?)

Well, there is some good news. It seems Ms. Traci Kishbaugh, AKA Tacki Fishkebob, after some 36 posts in 3 days, has decided she's had enough, (SHE'S had enough?), and she QUIT the Anti-PPX list in a huff, blaming Catwoman, of all people, for her frustration. She's pissed me & Cat are "friends". If she only knew... [haha!] Anyway, the list is not ruined, so please, Churn people, don't cry your eyes out, I will still be pounding away at the Kishbaugh and Neilson names on a daily basis, and I promise to never be anything less than a totally ruthless scoundrel who is abusive, unfair, and downright hilarious! I would personally like to thank Doc, SLi, and Ed for helping drive her over the edge of endurance. This is a great accomplishment, you should be proud. NO ONE has ever shut Traci Kishbaugh up before! SLi, you were absolutely devastating with your quotes from the Bill Of Rights. She folded right after that.

My next target will be the most boring and obnoxious porn site on the Net, Mr. Bolton's Music List (see above URL, read "Careful Out There..."), run by that quintessential fascist cunt herself, Ms. Terrie Neilson, AKA the Great Turkie Nazi. My goal is to change the subject from Bolton to Otto without ever actually posting there. Wish me luck!

A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 19:23:47 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hi gang,

I rented South Park The Movie last night (it's great btw) and grabbed 13 bitchen new wavs off it. PC users click here for a .zip file, and you beautiful, brilliant, shrewd, well-heeled Mac users click here for a.sit file. Or, go to my bundles page on Doc's Chat Sounds and pick up all 45 South Park Sounds in a .zip file.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 29, 1999 at 07:43:22 (PST)

I took a 350 engine out of a Corvette, put a 4-bbl carburetor and 3/4 cam on it, and installed it in a Hoover Windtunnel vaccuum cleaner.

I don't need cleaner carpets, I just wanted something that sucks more than South Park.

It didn't, but I'll keep trying. Anybody else with me on this?


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Monday, November 29, 1999 at 09:00:21 (PST)

Keep trying, Ed, maybe eventually you'll come
up with something that sucks more than AOL.

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:20:37 (PST)

The most dense black hole in the deepest
reaches of space sucks less than AOL. I'm sad
that Ed got the boot, but I don't think
anybody is shedding any tears over the
absense of most AOLamers. Ed, I'm sure you
can find a new ISP.

A Butter Patty from: BumFuck
on Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:43:23 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Sad bunch of yanky gh3y b0yz

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 29, 1999 at 15:00:04 (PST)

Who you calling a Yanky gh3y b0yz???

Buddy, I'm Amish by birth, and Straight by the grace of God.
(paraphrased Tracy Smothers)

Oh yeah, and YEAH HA!!

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, November 29, 1999 at 18:18:49 (PST)

General rule of thumb #2547-a-13;

If some asshole posts something in here, Doc can kill it, *unless somebody replies to it*

Despite the fact that GhY3 is the chemical name for a hairball remedy, I'll take it as a compliment.

A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 22:19:08 (PST)

24 ShopLifting Days left till Xmas:)

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