As The World Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fighton the DALnet


Churn out a Post?

A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 01, 2000 at 09:24:27 (PDT)

My perennial First of May Post...

Hooray!
Hooray!
First Day of May!
Outdoor Fucking Starts Today!





A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 01, 2000 at 09:45:08 (PDT)

Happy May Day!




A Butter Patty from: BADHAM
on Monday, May 01, 2000 at 12:34:05 (PDT)

Hi all, hey my nipples are hard is iy summer yet?


A Butter Patty from: Sour_Crout
on Monday, May 01, 2000 at 18:37:18 (PDT)

Ah, the first of May... hmm...
Not much to say there. It's just like any other month to me. But it hasn't started off like any other month, considering that I'm currently ferschnickered from one too many Screwdrivers. Blessed be the one who thought to combine vodka and orange juice.

Hardly type enough to sober,
Sour_Crout.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 01, 2000 at 20:48:52 (PDT)

Are we going to have a Cincyo de Mayo party?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 01, 2000 at 21:27:39 (PDT)

we tried that last year...and the other condiments got jealous...seems that mustard gets his feelings hurt easily, go figger


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 02, 2000 at 01:49:09 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Okay just let me be the first one to express this.... KURT DONT EVER SEND ME A LINK TO A NAKED PIC OF YOU ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Thanks, SLi

Gollee, SLi, what kind of guy do you take me for? If I was going to try and trick you into seeing me naked, I'd be posting something along the lines of, TO SEE POPEYE-X NAKED, CLICK HERE! Try to give me some kind of credit for decency, I think you owe me at least that much. I've always tried my best to be a gentleman about my nude body, besides, I'm not nearly as HIDEOUS as you might think...

BTW, Beloved SLiness, you are NOT the FIRST to express such an irrational fear... imagine how Turkie and Tacki must feel, staring at that evil link on my Anti-Bolton page, and wondering, "Should I click on it, and see for myself?"

I can't wait to check my server log to see if they actually looked. hehe.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 02, 2000 at 03:06:17 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I, of course, went right to the link. I don't care who it is. Put a pic of yer 90 year-old grandma up there. The words "naked pic" bring about an almost Pavlovian response from this heathen. Go figger.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 02, 2000 at 04:36:24 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Why wait til 5/1 to make bacon in the outdoors, SLi? I once had a rendezvous with a young lady in the showers at Lake Murray, OK after a cockfight down the road in Thackerville right before Xmas. Sure it was cold, but that weren't no hill fer a stepper like me. It's all a matter of will, youngun. Some things just take priority over physical comfort. It's a duty I must perform regardless of risk to health and well-being. That's what they make whiskey for - to warm the blood and fan the fires d'amour.

oxoxoxox


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 02, 2000 at 11:00:19 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

"Some things just take priority over physical comfort."

Spoken like a true soldier, Puddin'Head.

Whenever I get resistance on a hot date, I always use that line, "death before dishonor".


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 02, 2000 at 16:51:31 (PDT)

*BLINK*


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 03, 2000 at 10:16:19 (PDT)

Hey Kurt, I was curious how the arm of a guitar ended up growing outta that girls tit. Very clever, indeed. Imagine the foreplay she must get.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 03, 2000 at 19:03:57 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I ain't never chased no kootchie in my life, but I've rarely turned it down when it threw itself on me. Never know if this'll be the last day on earth, and I gotta take care of Wally. "Don't let yer meat loaf", as they say. I don't wanna die with clean underwear.

Put on that dress I like, and get me a beer, bitch.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 04, 2000 at 19:33:25 (PDT)

Don't you be talkin' to my Shock like that.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 04, 2000 at 22:33:42 (PDT)

/me points to the "TIME OUT" chair


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 05, 2000 at 11:31:21 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Dear Fractious:

That's not a guitar "arm", its a "neck", (as in "neck-id"). She was a good sport, eh? My fret work ain't real spectacular, but, I've always been a pretty good strummer.

I sent her an email and a link saying, "Hey, you're finally on the Internet naked!" She was SOOOO relived her face wasn't visible. Like I said, she was a real good sport about it. I love to show off, but I'm not the "kiss and tell" type.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 05, 2000 at 20:01:23 (PDT)

OK so you have been at your Dad's drinking and eating and you come home to have a little Roederer and sit down at your puter and a big black spider crawls over your paper work. At first your thoughts flit toward the Orkin man who will pay for this intrusion then you crush the life out of the big black spider and think.. must stop spider...booze is good.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, May 06, 2000 at 09:42:53 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Gee, Alice! A woman squarshes her own spider? You must have been smashed! Women don't realize it, but spiders are your friends. On time, in my kitchen, I saw two cockroaches, walking along like they owned the place. Suddenly, out of a hole, a spider ran out like lightning, and grabbed a roach, and hauled it into the hole. It was so fast, the other roach didn't even notice. Within a few seconds, here comes the spider again, and it grabs the other roach, and hauls it into the hole immediately. After that day, I never kill spiders. I like 'em! They eat bugs!

Same with a possum. Ugly and filthy, COVERED with fleas, but they eat cadavers! One time, at a certain point in the "trailer" section of my sprawling complex, a certain AWFUL smell began to develop. Something was DEAD in the inside the floor, no doubt about it. After 4 or 5 days, its was god-awful! I was desperate. I started looking at my power saw and thinking, "Do I have what it takes to open up the floor, and haul out a liquified bag of guts?" I stalled for time, but knew I had a dreaded duty ahead, and SOON! Then, overnight, the stench completely disappeared. Obviously, a possum caught wind of my problem, and didn't want to miss out on such a scrumptuous snack. Now, instead of murdering every possum I see, I always leave a couple alive, because I love an animal who'll clean up the worst messes FOR me.

Now, if I can just find a critter who washes dishes...


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, May 06, 2000 at 09:47:19 (PDT)

*SCREAM*

Slow reply to frac's post :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 05:43:56 (PDT)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARL!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 10:01:40 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

WARNING TO ALL BACHELORS!!!

There is a Stoeffer's TV dinner called "Cheddar Cheese & Chicken Bake".

Its got to be the WORST TV dinner in history!

I wouldn't even feed it to a possum, its that bad.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 11:52:09 (PDT)

I have a solution to your pest problems Kurt, just burn the place down. Oh god the horror!!!! Bugs belong out side where they have happy little homes and stay out of my rice krispies. Wait I don't have any rice krispies so they have to stay out of any thing I own. TV dinners are home to bugs toss em out. Trained mice can wash the dishes but they also slide on the soap and drown and then you have the possum problem all over again. ...Just burn the place. Possums are good they eat grubs, out side!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 13:09:33 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

OK, Alice, you're idea sounds pretty good... can I come live with you? I'll need about 300 sq. ft. for my keyboards and computers, I'll just sleep on the floor, like the studio rat I've always been. Do you like Big Red by any chance?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 13:23:19 (PDT)

What's it gonna be, Carl--birthday kisses or spankins?

;)


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 14:56:33 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Actually, Alice, I've grossed you out for effect, (as usual). There are 5 things we don't have around here:

a mouse

a rat

a lizard

a bird

or a bug.

Click above URL to see why.

One time, she even bagged a huge bunny, ON EASTER.

(not lying, this time)

*w*


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 19:47:14 (PDT)

MEOW


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 07, 2000 at 19:55:23 (PDT)

Killer cats and guns that explains the whole thing. (Everyone smile and nod at Kurt and you will be safe) No spitting!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 08, 2000 at 05:27:25 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Guns? Who needs a gun? I use a machete. I chop their heads off with 2 strokes, 3 at the most. Its quick, and SILENT.

(not lying, again, Alice...) *w*

above link shows the Otto brothers early on (1957)

I'm the one on the right, that's Kyle on the left.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 08, 2000 at 20:41:41 (PDT)

Thats not "Kray" brothers and you are in hiding?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 at 17:48:50 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

No, but we are KAYE's brothers, and she's the one hiding in my mom's belly.

Speaking of pregnant, after serious negotiations, Her Royal SLiness has graciously consented to donate an egg so that Dr. Popeye-X may spawn before he gets too decrepid to watch Barney. All that is needed is a suitable surrogate mother, and SLi suggested I "poll the barn" for candidates. Any takers? Don't delay, I'm taking this offer over to Turkie Nazi's Mr. Bolton's Music List, and I expect a flood of anxious wannabees to be hounding my ass night and day. Get those resumes in ASAP!

Only requirement: The mother of my child must be capable of enduring industrial irritation (i. e. my music) for DAYS on end. I want my kids used to loud drums at ALL hours of the night.

Click above URL to see my "son", Buddy. He was raised on drums, and he never even batted an eyelash, no matter how loud it got. He even played a few himself by jumping on the keys every 5 fucking seconds.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 09, 2000 at 20:30:00 (PDT)

PPX: Dave said he would :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 10, 2000 at 09:29:16 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

HEYBABE!, I don't think it would help Night Train's image for Dave to look "knocked-up" onstage, much less be flaunting .j-preg's in the band's online promo kit, do you? Things are going good for NT right now (I'm referring to Dave's band, not Windows NT). What with MP3.com and Napster happenin', maybe its time to look into that 8th Grade Bride cheerleader chick? She looks like she might have enough "womb" to fit me into her schedule, since she won't be going to high school, much less Kentucky Fried Trailer College. I'm sure bearing my child would teach her a lesson or two along the way. Does she know HTML by any chance? If so, we can pass SLi's egg on to Mugtoe...

(thinks twice) ...I sure would like to hang on to that quick typing gene she's got!...

Anybody know the URL for them sheepherders who cloned Dolly? Maybe they'd know how to cut-and-paste DNA via Drag-n-Drop for a little Plug-n-Play, knowhatI'msayin'?

Man, this parenting stuff is a lot trickier than it looks on them TV shows like Party Of Five and Eight Is Too Much...

Actually, I liked the X-Files a lot better when it used to be called Quincy...

(still thinkin' it over...)


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 10, 2000 at 16:22:34 (PDT)

Actually the 8th grade bride is available. She is going through a divorce. Things are looking good for ya, ppx. Want me to put in a good word for ya?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 11, 2000 at 13:03:15 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Thanks, Luna, but I think my chances would be better if you put in a BAD word about me... something like:

"There's this weird guy on the Internet who's a big Night Train fan, and he's been saying he wants YOU to be the surrogate mother of his "chat egg" baby, but if you know HTML, and can type fast enough, he wants to go ahead and knock you up using your ovaries... His name is Popeye-X, he used to play Tight End for the Goat Fudge Packers"

That oughta do the trick. She's going through a divorce? Perfect! I'm going through divorcees.

I'm gonna have to go on E-Bay and buy you some smiley face boxer shorts, Luna, to show my undying admiration.

(oogle oogle)

*sigh-x*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 11, 2000 at 17:33:54 (PDT)

ummmmmmmmm
sorry ppx...

she says that she isn't ready to move into another relationship. How mature for a 14 year old.



A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 11, 2000 at 21:37:27 (PDT)

Luna...you also need to tell her that the fast typing and HTML genes arent the only traits at stake here....its my egg and there are certains gentic characteristics that are bound to be dominate...even over the Texans genes, and inspite of having a surrogate mother...this child will undoubtly have its biological mothers sense of style and will find the need to buy shoes that dont go with anything it owns..(you can build an outfit AROUND the right pair of shoes) Im holding out for a girl...just cause I think the idea of Kurt with a teenage daughter at some point would be hysterical!!!! So she will probably grow up to sell real estate... Dragon Lady Otto (love that name) The big butt gene will carry over too...up until about 2 years ago I looked on it as a curse...but ya know...it cant be all bad. She will love sports so Kurt inspite of the fact that the Spurs suck might as well get season tickets now...and a softball for her to teethe on.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 12, 2000 at 04:00:36 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Last night, a San Antonio man stuck his arm in a clothes dryer, to see if the load was done.

Unfortunately it was an industrial sized model, holding in excess of 500 lbs, so it TORE HIS ARM OFF ABOVE THE ELBOW.




A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 12, 2000 at 12:01:20 (PDT)

Guess he had to re-wash the whole load. Blood is so hard to get out once it sets damn it!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 12, 2000 at 18:59:01 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oh my god, TROOPS may be the funniest movie I've ever seen on the Web. A big ol' download but well worth it.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 14, 2000 at 04:00:30 (PDT)

To all the Moms:

Happy Mother's Day :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 14, 2000 at 09:38:23 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Here's one that takes a bit less time than the very funny TROOPS did to download...
It's especially timely for all you Asshollica fans...


A Butter Patty from: JustAngel
on Sunday, May 14, 2000 at 10:11:25 (PDT)

Happy Mother's Day!!
SLiiiiiiiii.....how was YOUR weekend..
Doooooc...how was YOUR weekend..
Mine was absolutely HILARIOUS!!
Did I mention how the weather was in Oklahoma?
STORMY!
MUUUWAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAA


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 14, 2000 at 15:18:52 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Some idiot with a suicidal streak over at the Anti Popeye- X Fan Club made the grave mistake of suggesting I quit picking on Turkie and Tacki, and "go back" to writing stories. Now the whole board is starting to break out in "fuck you" hives. Of course, I used the "opportunity" to SPAM the fuck out of Doc (see above URL).

The owner of a Ted Nugent mailing list thought I was pretty funny, (not ALL Nugent fans are stupid), HUNTING THE WILD NUGENT, so he linked me to his pro-Ted mailing list.

FUCK! Here comes the deluge!

Those Nugent fans are just as pussy as those Bolton fans! They keep calling me a "girl". Oh, yeah, that's PPX, the GIRL. I've ALWAYS been very girlish, you know. I'm having surgery so I can be a "real" woman.

HI!! *waves limp wrist*

*starts skipping rope, watching Oprah, and crying a lot*

*sigh-x*


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 14, 2000 at 15:22:42 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oooops. I forgot to mention, I SPAMMED the fuck out of Mugtoe, too!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 14, 2000 at 19:53:48 (PDT)

I never get spammed. Is it anything like whipped topping?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 15, 2000 at 07:08:59 (PDT)

Its like Hershey's Liquid Chocolate mixed in your hair, then hardened with a hair drier, and don't forget, the letters "PPX" are burned into your back with a hot glue gun.

Plus, you get the complimentary PPX phone card #, so I don't get too lonely. *w*


A Butter Patty from: iburn
on Tuesday, May 16, 2000 at 05:43:43 (PDT)

Why was i banned?
I don't really care if you let me
back in. But please, at least tell
me why I was banned.

Tom


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 16, 2000 at 06:37:29 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

that's *almost* haiku....
try a bit harder, iburn
write well, grasshopper


A Butter Patty from: ikick
on Tuesday, May 16, 2000 at 07:14:41 (PDT)

Why the hell NOT?

Whoever it was, ikick salutes you!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 16, 2000 at 20:03:38 (PDT)

*sigh*


A Butter Patty from: What an idiot
on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 at 08:41:23 (PDT)

Here's "iburn", who nearly cried over being banned from the channel. Nice eyebrow, dumbass!

Thomas Spencer
Port Charlotte, FL
(941)629-3918


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 at 14:16:08 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Now THIS is some funny shit.

p.s. the results of my latest sleep deprivation study can be found here.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 at 14:20:53 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I sent the following to Tom's wife, Katie:

from Kurt Otto to katie@iburn.com

you don't know me, but some character named "iburn" came into an IRC channel I was in, #Amish_Rake_Fight, and made an ass out of himself. When he got kicked by a woman, he started messaging her, showing he knew her home address, and her work address. Scared her pretty good, which is understandable, since he's a complete stranger. When I confronted him about it, (my nick is popeye-x), he just lied, and acted all innocent. Well, needless to say, we aren't gonna put up with garbage like that. It didn't take long to locate his real name and address, you might warn him that one more little shenanigan on his part will result in all the logs of his bullshit being sent to your local police dept. Intimidating women is such a cowardly thing to do. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the fool got reported already. Please tell Tom, popeye-x says HI!

PPX comments: Me & Katie are gonna get real tight. I feel it my duty, as an officer and a gentleman, to keep the lady informed of what Mr. Wrong is up to at night.

SLi, you weren't kidding when you said you voicemailed his boss, were you?

This is fun. This is what the TT's used to do to me every day. Now I see why they "liked" me so much! IBURN for President! (when his wife lets him out of the doghouse, of course)


A Butter Patty from: ichurn
on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 at 18:05:18 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I notice, in spite of being quite the tenacious rascal, Doc can't hide his "good guy" streak. He didn't publish iburn's street addy, although he certainly could have, as well as his work addy, and his boss' phone number. Iburn deserves whatever he dishes out. But, Doc doesn't feel any need to scare ladies over "chat power games", so he didn't stoop so low. I hope iburn takes notice of the gesture, and appreciates it.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 at 21:59:05 (PDT)

Now Scranton is funny and Jesuits make me laugh every time. Guess the Scranton jokes are keeping you all in stitches at the office? Next you all will be laughing at Hohokus or Allentown. I tell you the things people laugh at. I just don't get it.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 18, 2000 at 10:18:47 (PDT)

I submit the following modified theme from the pilot for the TV show "Bonanza" as our new channel theme song:
(Popeye-X solo) I've got a flair for women everywhere -- Amish Rake Fight!
(Vinyl Junkie solo) Rake Fight! (Barks and howls)
(All three) I'm not afraid of any pretty maid -- Rake Fight! Rake Fight!
But when I give a kiss to any little miss
She'll learn a lot from me
(Doc solo) I'm not afraid of any pretty maid -- Amish Rake Fight!
(All three) Rake Fight!
When I give a kiss to any little miss
She'll learn a lot from me
Hair of brown, hair of gold
I take what I see
We're not a one to saddle up and run -- Rake Fight! Rake Fight!
Any one of us who starts a little fuss
Knows he can count on me
One for four(?), four(?) for one
This we guarantee
We got a right to pick a little fight -- Rake Fight! Rake Fight!
If anyone fights any one of us
He's gotta fight with me!


A Butter Patty from: BAD HAM
on Thursday, May 18, 2000 at 12:42:44 (PDT)

Popeye-x the man the mith the legend
good job man


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 18, 2000 at 15:57:49 (PDT)

So, whose was the longest?


A Butter Patty from: ispurn
on Friday, May 19, 2000 at 03:46:25 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

You fuckers are beautiful. I love the internet. The capacity of the human mind for self-deception is limitless. I never have to leave my house. I can sit here at my desk and watch the continuous parade of idiots falling into step in front of my eyes.

This guy really didn't know who he was fuckin with.

OUCH!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 19, 2000 at 04:18:25 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

"Cold soders for everybody!", Mugtoe ejaculated.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 19, 2000 at 04:42:22 (PDT)

*sigh*


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 19, 2000 at 08:31:02 (PDT)

With all this excitement going on we've lost sight of the REAL issues at the barn. Namely, what the fuck is that orange shit oozing out from under the sink?

??????


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 19, 2000 at 13:00:29 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

It's what's left of iburn (or "ibrow" as Badham calls him). He got in the soup, as they say.


A Butter Patty from: BAD HAM
on Friday, May 19, 2000 at 17:10:52 (PDT)

is it just me or dose ibrow look retarded. i dont know, maybe we should call him corky


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, May 20, 2000 at 04:53:41 (PDT)

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 21, 2000 at 06:24:50 (PDT)

Hemp can boogey! He struts a mean Hokey Pokey. ;)
Yes, there are pictures...I'm working on bribing his family members now.

*evil grin*


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 21, 2000 at 15:57:09 (PDT)

What's the price on the pictures, frac?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 21, 2000 at 18:00:39 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Doc, I was reading that most recent "PPX GOT ME FIRED FROM MY JOB!" iburn log, (what a lying sack of shit he is!), out loud over the phone to SLi, we were fucking screaming with migraine glee at all your "shorties", they did not pass unnoticed, two of your biggest fans were doing a point by point from the front row, SHIT, I could teach a college course on Doc-speak alone...

well, maybe not a whole course...
how about a seminar & a set of cassettes?

hmmm, maybe not a whole seminar...
how about a tutorial screensaver?

hmmm.... would you settle for a Churn post and a free trial link to the www.PPXdestroyedmyfamily.com website?

OK, I see your point... who's gonna believe something tragic happened because PPX went "too far this time"?

(just to make sure everyone reading this understands...
PPX did NOTHING... except blow out HOT AIR... as usual)

I'll tell you what... I'm turning over a new leaf,
I've decided to dedicate my vast resources to:
Caring Digitally For A New & Hurting IRC Asshole
Sweet Talking Chat Chix & Horndogging *HUGS*

My first noble gesture will be to launch a million-dollar advertising campaign, so my fans won't have to waste their lives toiling in front of their computers, endlessly clicking thru GOOGLE! listings, and searching for the ultimate PPX banner ad. Now, thanks to my bad guy image, they can now go to their local theatre, and see my entire infomercial on the wide screen, in glorious 5-track digital surround sound. Since I'd like to "give a little something back to my fans", I've installed over 23,000 looping kiosks in local strip malls all across America. This will give the homeless and underprivileged, who, by law, are automatically denied Internet access, a chance to buy my T-shirt, my CD, and my nude poster.

As always, my organization will steadfastly maintain a website that is CurrentlyUnder Construction, so registered subscribers can download the latest PPX "spoken word" mp3's. These sound bites will soon comprise a verbal "the-making-of..." documentary, showing PPX in his studio, using new hot-keys, pirate IP's, dead seed scrolls, and chat-loggies fished out of DALnetbowls...

"Not bad for two years of clicking, huh? Am I good or what?"

Kurti Synthbaugh

Doc, did you see where your Answer Me!!! post at AntiPPX got a response from Tacki herself? She's been coming in and posting, but leaving the name box blank, and claiming to be a friend of Traci, who has known her a "long time". I call this incarnation of Fishkebob, "The Invisible Tacki". She also knows Tackimon, the male-hard throb torch singer who got fired from Menudo for making veiled threats at the Bee Gees Fan Club Mailing List, Cyber Strip Mall, and Online Sucker Bait Shop, to a freelance undercover snitch/sex partner who PPX keeps on staff. Invisible Tacki thought you were me, and I (you) was wrongly thinking Tacki was Turkie, and she let me have it right between the eyes. She clarified, in no uncertain terms, her father, the Chief Of Police, most certainly DID NOT rape her! OK, so I made a mistake, I guess I should have realized Tacki was of consenting adult age. I don't think its unreasonable for her to at least consider giving me a second chance to get it right, especially in the light of the factYOU (Doc) were the one who posted it. She's a lot like iburn, she thinks PPX is behind anything that doesn't turn out according to the way the scam was originally blueprinted.

Also, of course, NEVER believe ANYTHING iburn says, no matter what it is, unless you have something besides HIS WORD to corroborate it with. Don't make the mistake of assuming he's not lying EVERY TIME words come out of his mouth. That fucker was one solid streak of lies...

(sung to the tune of the Marine's Hymn)

...From obnoxious chats with Luna,
to the SLi apologies,
we will log our channel's battles,
with the text from IRC,
first to Write cuz we Might need to Read 'Em,
and to keep our chan ops mean,
to the Rake_Fight Shitlist newbies,
getting kick-banned by Our Queen!

I'm starting to think iburn didn't start apologizing until some "force bigger than all of us" notified him his shit was already flushed. In a mad scramble of phony "I'm sorry, SLi" messages, it appears as if he was trying to grab his turds out of the swirling toilet, after the Big Flush was already underway. I guess when he stuck his hand in there, since the load was in excess of 500 lbs., it tore his arm off above the neck. That has gotta be the work of PPX, the cold blooded, home wrecking, chat megalo-monster, and his cheesy network of mouse-click mafioso rat-bastards.

One time, I heard Mugtoe sow a grim seed that reaps this harvest perfectly... Swing The Blade!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, May 21, 2000 at 20:04:57 (PDT)

Big move this week. I am never crossing back over the Mississippi again! Unless I get a really good bribe and it is very short term.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 22, 2000 at 02:45:38 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Cut em off at the knees...


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 22, 2000 at 05:20:09 (PDT)

4 days and counting!!!

NO I AM NOT MEETING DOC!

School will be over!!!!! wooooooooo hoooooo!


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 22, 2000 at 15:29:06 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

19 days and counting...and gee...I am going to see Doc...but I digress...(not that it isn't important, but I can annoy you guys more effectively with those details in channel) I am posting today with some much needed and possibly overlooked consumer advice. You see I live (all be it temporarily) in the south...famous for two things this time of year...unrelenting heat (and no its not that pleasant "dry heat" its that sticky humid heat) and MOSQUITOES. There are volumes of folklore compiled about these southern mosquitoes tenacity and visciousness. They bite thru clothes, chase you down, pack hunt like velociraptors in Jurassic Park, and have been known to carry small children off. To this end the fine folks at SC JOHNSON WAX make a killing with their deet flavored repellants. The particular flavor in question is that of DEEP WOODS OFF (with sunscreen) it comes in a medium sized, DARK green tube, with flashy outdoorsy pics on the front and miniscule BLACK text on the back. Now...today Richie is outside riding his Harley and playing with the new cat, when we notice that the mosquitoes are swarming him and he needs some relief. So...I waltz into the house and grab the OFF...and proceed to cover him with the stuff, well when he is sufficently covered to my approval and his annoyance I go in the house to wash the extra amount off my hands and my jewelry when I notice that my fingernails are "sticking" together when they touch, the top layer of sealant (they are airbrushed) is melting...seems that the miniscule black writing (about midway thru the LONG narative on the back of the tube)says "may damage painted and varnished surfaces"....now granted..I should have read it before I put it on him...and granted I am slightly vain (stop laughing Doc) and do pay alot of attention to my nails...but I think the real issue here is not my manicure...but openly distributed for your protection all over the world is a product that you are supposed to use on your childrens skin, and the shit can eat paint off????? I called the fine folks at Johnson Wax and they are gonna send me a coupon for my next purchase of OFF (yeah Im aching to go buy more of this stuff I have an oak vanity I want to refinish) but toughski shitski that you think it would harm a child and tough titty that their $5.00 tube of crap not only didnt keep the mosquitoes off you but ruined your manicure too...sigh...okay I feel better...is it June yet?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, May 22, 2000 at 17:06:10 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Poor baby, Steph!
Deep Woods OFF! obviously contains one o' them thar "stinky-ass" chemicals as a solvent base. My guess is its one o' them thar cousins from the AROMATIC HYDROCARBON clan, either acetone, methyl ethyl ketone, or a touch of both. The solvent base is like turpentine, its a liquid foundation that all the other chemicals dissolve into. This also helps maintain the original mix between the ingredients.

They have to use the stinky (aromatic) stuff in this case, because it evaporates like crazy, and the molecules coming off the skin push the skeeters back, kinda like the 'idiot fence' in the barn.

They also have to use an 'oil based' solvent, if they used water, the smell wound probably ATTRACT mosquitos. That tube of gelled crap helps to 'thin' out the bad stuff, and provide a softening buffer for the skin, while 'holding' the bad stuff in the goo, so its a barrier between the blood suck-er and the blood suck-eee.

One consolation: Admittedly, the melted nails are expensive, unsightly, and definitely unhealthy, but they can still reach all the good spots to scratch until its bloody, right?

How To Neutralize A Mosquito Bite From Hell - Get a stiff bristle bathing brush with a long handle. Make the bristles as wet as you can, and rub a bar of soap on them with 'much vigor', until there is a thick glob of soap lather saturated into the bristles. Locate your most aggrivating mosquito bite, and lay into it with the brush. Scratch that lil' som-'itch! When the skin calms down a little, you may find that the 'itching' pore of the bite is NOT itching at all anymore. There is soap crammed down in the pore, sealing it off,and stopping the itch. Try not to accidently rinse any scratched soap out of the bites, crusty is GOOD. This method works wonders if your ankles get chewed, and start welping like raw meat diggity dogs.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 at 16:35:06 (PDT)

I got kicked out of another Lesbian channel today. I barely got out a "hello" before I was kicked. It seems, I cant prove Im a female. HA!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 25, 2000 at 04:10:51 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

You only think you got problems, SLi. Now, I know this is way TMI, but I once grabbed some of the OFF lotion in a moment of passion having only read the "lotion" portion of the label. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

I don't know nothin bout that hot fence behind the barn. You ain't gonna get me to admit nothin.

oxox


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 25, 2000 at 13:23:50 (PDT)

ahhhh so you had a Johnny Cash moment?
~~Ring of Fire~~


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, May 25, 2000 at 22:27:23 (PDT)

WOOHOOO!!!

I just got word that I'm one of the lucky
100,000 people that get to download an 100mb
beta game off the net and test some servers!!!

Oh and for those who care and know....





A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, May 26, 2000 at 11:39:17 (PDT)

You aint the only one my friend!! :o)


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, May 27, 2000 at 05:56:37 (PDT)

*sigh*

School is over TUESDAY!!! Pray for me till then... this inventory crap is for the birds!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, May 27, 2000 at 21:45:30 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Bet their food is good....


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 at 10:41:27 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Took me once or twice to figure this one out....but its pretty kewl tilya do....click and be amazed.
Smooches


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 at 20:25:44 (PDT)

That made my head hurt :/


A Butter Patty from: BADHAM
on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 at 19:17:31 (PDT)

i hate card tricks , they always seem to piss me off one way or an other...oh well what are ya gunna do? HEY! this could be the last post of the month...PISSAH!!!!hehe


Use this form to churn out a post.
(FIRST-TIME POSTERS CLICK HERE)

Your Name (required):
 (or use your picture)  
Your E-Mail address:
A link to share with others:  (Don't forget the "http://"!)
Your message:

(Enter will be replaced
with a <BR> tag)

Last Month's Churn
 
The Churn Archives
 
The Shitlist
 
Amish Rake Fight
      

You are the visitorto the Churn.  It's .