As The World Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fighton the DALnet


Churn out a Post?

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 01, 2000 at 12:59:19 (PST)

Woohoo!! Me first!



A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 01, 2000 at 13:02:07 (PST)

Ok who fed the lambs to the lions again? The barn door needs to be closed! What, were you raised by Amish?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 02, 2000 at 12:39:00 (PST)

I AM ON A MAC....GOD HELP ME!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 03, 2000 at 06:11:45 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

What is all this "MAC" talk? We have MAC's here in Texas, but they call them "Big Mac's", I guess that's a reference to the Lone Star State. Now, I know Luna likes pastires and such, but the thought of her standing on top of a hamburger is an image I find very disturbing. The KY State must be a weird place...


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 03, 2000 at 10:01:05 (PST)

There is nothing quite like getting even with the throngs of jackass idiots out there on the roads. Now while modern soceity and criminal law assures that I can't exact the sort of lethal vengence I would like to on every jackass I come across in my travels, I can at least rest assured that my wiseass nature and rapier wit will prevail, now and again, over a few of the knuckledraggers that the state of Florida, in its infinite wisdom, deemed suitable to pilot an automobile in rush hour traffic. This is the story of one such Jackass

Now this man seemed to be more than courteous to start out with. When I was trapped behind grandma in her Cadillac going 40 on the Highway, this man in the big white Dodge van was nice enough to slow down and allow me into the fast lane to pass her decrepit ass. I thanked him with a wave of my hand through the sun roof and received a kurt nod in the rear view as his response. I actually thought to myself, "Wow!" you don't see that everyday.

Well the expressway we were on sorta turned into city surface streets without warning and it is here that peak rush hour traffic really screws with your fuel economy, i.e. dead stop for at least ten minutes. This, of course, pissed me of to no end but I thought, "Hey, at least I beat grandma up here" Well that nice man in the white Dodge van was pulled up right next to me and as I slid the CD out of my head unit and searched for a new one, I heard the familar strains of a man named Klinger coming from the window of the nice man's van.

Now there is this radio station in Jacksonville that I like to listen to. Broadcasting on 93.3 MHz FM, Planet Radio WKLA does a damn good job of making me chuckle when I drive around in my car. You see they have this evening DJ called Klinger, who I just mentioned before, and he's quite an interesting gentleman. He does this lil radio show called Road Rage every weekday around 1700 where listeners can call in and vent, in FCC allowable language, about the various assholes that make our daily driving so damn fun. Listeners also call in and tell the nice man about speed traps that various esteemed members of Florida's Finest Highway Patrol have set up to snare unsuspecting, speeding felons like myself, hence my true reason for listening. Not only are they funny but very cost effective as the State of Florida has some fucking glorious fines for driving 95 mph on I-95. (I tried pointing out to a cop once, "But officer that blue sign says 95 right on it." He didn't buy it however. I digress)

Well upon hearing my favorite DJ's voice wafting across traffic, I decided to tune in Planet Radio and see what Mr. Klinger had to say for himself. The music was good. The Road Rage was funny. The speed trap reports were cost effective. Everyone was happy or at least happy about being pissed off with traffic.

So there I sat bopping along to the music when all of a sudden the traffic lurched forward. I decided to put my car's 330 lil ponies to good use and get through some of this mess. The clutch came up as the hammer went down and my neck is still a lil sore from that. I tore around a bus and managed to politely and safely weave through traffic a lil faster than it was actually moving.

Well Mr. White Dodge Van was following along quite closely and right as I began my turn into a left hand exit to get onto another highway, he came from the right and totally cut me off making the same turn. I turned the wheel so sharply that I had to reverse away from the curb to continue my entrance onto the highway. Well that really frosted my weenie. I pulled out ye handy dandy cellular phone and phoned Mr. Klinger. Surprisingly I actually spoke with him. I asked the Nice DJ to kindly inform the idiot in the White Dodge Van heading west on I-10 that the handsome young man in the white Ford Probe GT behind him is currently flipping him off and curses his armpits with the fleas of a thousand camels. I accelerated and got right behind that van and about 3 minutes after hitting "end" my lil converstaion with the Dj came on the air. I put on my best shit eating grin, raised my arm through the sunroof and extended the middle digit of my right hand to its fullest and upright most position. I saw the guy look in his rear view and watched as his eyes widened in response to my friendly and gregarious gesture. I mouthed the words, "Fuck you asshole", punched the gas and tore ass around him. As I passed by the drivers side window I yelled, "Jackass" as loud as my lungs would allow.

Well the Dodge driving Jackass was not about to let me off that easy and I saw his van lurch under the power of its primitive pushrod V-8 engine in my rear view. "Great" I thought, "He's going to murder me with a lug wrench or something" I was not about to become a statistic. The turbo timer was adjusted, the N2O bottle was opened, and massive amounts of Fuel, compressed air, and Nitrous oxide poured into my engine. The guy had no chance but I honestly think he would have rammed me if he could have caught up.

Well I had already missed my exit while following the jackass waiting for my message of goodwill to air so I decided a rapid change in velocity and heading was nessecary. I spied a big opening in oncoming traffic and darted around one of those "AUTHORIZED VEHICLES ONLY" U-turn thingies in the middle of the highway.

Just my luck. Smokie the Bear at my 6 o'clock with a big grin and a high quota comes barreling down the highway behind me.
Just my luck again. The Dodge noted my change in course, crossed the median over the grass, and didn't notice the cop hauling some serious ass to catch up with me.

I never did see what happened. I passed across an overpass and that lil hump in the road obstructed my rear view. But I'd like to think that the Dodge collided with the cop, essentially killing two pigs with one stone. But I know that didn't happen. I do assume however that the cop found the jackass' little offroading excursion to be a more flagrant violation than mine and decided to cite the closer, heavier, and more apprehendable vehicle.

Gawd I'm such a little shit.

VJ


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 03, 2000 at 11:01:56 (PST)

Grasshopper, you must learn to master your rage, or your rage will become your master.


A Butter Patty from: Angry-Man
on Friday, March 03, 2000 at 12:36:02 (PST)

FUCK YOU!!!

Just kidding.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 03, 2000 at 20:14:46 (PST)

Between VJ and Pale I had a great laugh.. now if I can cry and get some irony in here we could have a novel or at least a bad movie of the week. Little old lady played by that fiesty Betty White.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 04, 2000 at 10:13:28 (PST)

Road-Rager Hurled Poodle Into Traffic
SAN JOSE, Calif. (APBnews.com) -- Police are searching for a man who snatched a woman's dog out of her car during a traffic dispute and hurled it onto the road, where it was struck and killed by oncoming cars as she watched.

The incident happened as the dog's owner, Sara McBurnett, headed to the San Jose International Airport to pick up her husband, an American Airlines pilot.

McBurnett, 38, a real estate agent living in Tahoe, Nev., said it was dark and stormy when the driver of a dark sport utility vehicle (SUV) cut in front of her as she tried to navigate crowded airport traffic.

She said she inched forward, tapping his bumper lightly, and was stunned when the man leaped out of his car and came at her, screaming. She rolled her window down to speak to him, but had said only a few words when he grabbed her dog off her lap.

"I thought, 'Oh my God, he's dognapping him, he's going to bring him to his car and steal him.' Instead, he turned around and threw him into oncoming lanes," McBurnett said in a telephone interview.

'A car beat me to him'

McBurnett said she started running toward her dog but turned back to her car when she heard a thump and realized she'd neglected to put the car in park, allowing it to hit the SUV again.

"The worst decision I ever made in my life was to turn around and go put my car in park so it wouldn't continue moving. That gave traffic in the opposite direction time to start coming. I ran back to get my dog, but a car beat me to him," McBurnett said.

McBurnett said her dog, Leo, was still alive when she reached him. She said she was hysterically trying to call 911 when her husband came out of the airport. Together they rushed him to an emergency veterinarian, but it was too late.

It has been three weeks since Leo died, and listeners and readers of local media have donated a total of more than $30,000 toward a reward fund for information leading to the arrest of Leo's killer.


So Im guessing after this we really shouldnt take up that collection to buy VJ a puppy for his b-day. And I dread to think of what hed do with the hampster that Hempy suggested.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 04, 2000 at 13:13:31 (PST)

I say get him a monkey!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 04, 2000 at 13:14:05 (PST)

DAMN UNIX!!!!! thats twice!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 04, 2000 at 15:37:31 (PST)

Why is Billy having so much problems with eunuchs? You would think after you got over the high voices that he could have a might good sing along.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, March 05, 2000 at 07:47:26 (PST)

who just had a birthday?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, March 05, 2000 at 13:01:21 (PST)

DAVE JUST GOT ME SOME ORANGE CRUSH FROM TN!

He tried to buy out the store but they only had two 2 liter bottles left. Now that is LOVE!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, March 05, 2000 at 16:45:51 (PST)

I wanna puppy! A Golden Retriever puppy! I already have a Golden Retriever but I'd like another one. My doggie's name is Toby. He's just the nicest dog around. See look.



How can you resist a face like that?

VJ


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 06, 2000 at 05:52:02 (PST)

Come to think of it..... I wanna Monkey too.... one that follows voice commands. So when I say, "beer me" it goes and gets me another beer. Ohhhh the possibilities..


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 06, 2000 at 17:05:24 (PST)

is it me.. or does that dog only have three legs?


and a preemptive: Freakin unix!


A Butter Patty from: Henry Ford
on Monday, March 06, 2000 at 17:59:00 (PST)

Yes, he lost the leg after being hurled into seven lanes of oncoming freeway traffic by an enraged Ford Expedition owner who hates those young punks and their lowered boom-box Integras.

BTW, Billy, your nick expired again. We grabbed it. It's the usual password. You're welcome.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 06, 2000 at 18:44:46 (PST)

NO!!!! Toby has all of his legs thank you.

AND...yes I'm a young punk and yes my car has a nice stereo (but I don't play it loud around the public domain lest someone decide they like it and the car better than I do) but no its not lowered.....and no its not an Acura. Besides.....mine is faster than an Acura anyways.......So nyah!

Love always,

VJ



A Butter Patty from: P.J. Probe
on Tuesday, March 07, 2000 at 08:45:07 (PST)

Never buy a car named after something a doctor puts up your ass.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 07, 2000 at 14:27:50 (PST)

OK Billy∑ the poor eunuchs have had enough! First it‚s lose something that is very important to them. Then get teased by everyone and their brother (is Glen on the eunuchs backs?) about the high voices. Of course there is the look but do not touch policy where they live. These guys have a rough life. Please be kind to your eunuch. They will be kind to you. Perhaps you should stop hanging around the falsetto choir and the eunuchs will not piss you off so much.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 03:08:58 (PST)

Does the churn look weird to everyone else?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 09:01:02 (PST)

Yes, it's Billy's fault. It even crashes IE on my shitty PC. I'll fix it tonight. Thanks Billy! (He'll probably blame those eunuchs again.)


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 11:34:02 (PST)

but they told me to take apart the hard drive and wash it with a mild soap and warm water... *sniff* i was only trying to help.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 14:53:25 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Aw, heck, I thought it was another teXt monsTer in the making. If I could type as fast as SLi, I know I'd wind up in a text-osterone overdose clinic in no time.

Just out of curiousity... WHAT THE FUCK MADE THAT HAPPEN? It looks like the whole page with its "spaces" pulled. I kinda like it. It brings the Churn posts "closer".


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 15:05:03 (PST)

I was waiting for the punch line.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 15:43:50 (PST)

all better now! :o) seee... it just needed to dry a little more.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 18:02:01 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

As surely as the phoenix riseth from the ashes, so shall I emerge triumphant from my dark night of the soul. Whosoever would gainsay my ramblings is not of the blood and therefore to be anathema to me.

Got the crackheads outta my apt. Don't remember tellin em they could come, but then I don't remember much of anything from that night. They weren't so bad. I knew the guy, but his girlfriend was a mystery. There are many mysteries in my life.

I'm a new man. Y'all have done without me too long. I grow tired of those bitches and gutter snipes and cafe trotters who frequent my nights.

oxox


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 19:14:13 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Eunuchs don't got no gravy with their meat, and they sound like sissies. I wouldn't have em in my ass if I had room for a sawmill.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 11:18:46 (PST)

but... a eunuch wouldn't have anything to put in your ass.. so I guess you don't have to worry about that.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 18:10:22 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Seems like a sawmill in someone's ass might explain how he became a eunuch in the first place.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 20:16:20 (PST)

I played a eunuch in a play once. I was pretty good at it, at that. It's easy to pretend you don't have genitalia, just ignore them, and if that doesn't work, think of some really ugly people. Take Bronson Pinchot for example. If you think of him long enough, your poor unit will turtle up into your throat practically.


Hempy


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 10, 2000 at 06:21:43 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I'm a Rosie O'Donnell eunuch, myself. I use duct tape whenever I work as an exotic dancer, but it uses up about half of a 250 ft. roll. Not cheap, but more reliable than Rosie.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 10, 2000 at 13:22:16 (PST)

Did any one see my gerbil? I think I last saw it in a eunuchs hand heading towards Billys place.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 11, 2000 at 06:08:50 (PST)

Ebay is EVIL!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, March 12, 2000 at 04:15:11 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Mel "BAY" was a PROPHET!

Michael Bolton's Sittin' On The Dock Of The "BAY" was truly EVIL.

But to me, the Anti-Christ of all "BAY's" has got to be:

The Channel 666 program the world loves to watch and obey.... "BAY"-WATCH!



A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, March 12, 2000 at 12:24:46 (PST)

Didn't Mel Bay write the primers for elementary school bands? I swear I have a Mel Bay translation of top 40 hits for trombone.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 13, 2000 at 11:25:21 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Mel Bay was a guitarist who published guitar lessons and that branched into a whole empire...

you can read more about the Mel Bay, and his music publishing cult here
http://www.melbay.com/authors/mbay.html

top 40 hits for trombone sounds very "Mel Bay" to me, now you know why I called him a prophet.

I'm really into Baywatch Hawaii. We needed "another" Baywatch. One Baywatch is simply no longer enough, I hope we get even more, like Mel Baywatch.




A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 13, 2000 at 13:27:03 (PST)

Beige carpet is evil.


A Butter Patty from: Contagious Specialist
on Monday, March 13, 2000 at 18:22:26 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

See what your Wu Tang Clan name is :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 14, 2000 at 09:54:07 (PST)

I am Crafty Barnardo in the state of Wu. Can ya dig it?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 14, 2000 at 16:24:04 (PST)

Flailing Fanatical Killer here... I sort of like that!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 15, 2000 at 14:33:23 (PST)
Duncan Blake!

your Wu-Name is

Ol` Filthy, Sweaty Bastard

Use it wisely, soldier.

Fitting don'tcha think?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 16, 2000 at 20:25:21 (PST)
You should look atthis web page.

So, I have a bit of shameless self promotion to do. I'm contending with 24 other women for and invitation to a Magic: the Gathering competition in NY in April. I'm hoping for one of 8 spots. I need all the votes I can get.

If you go the the link above, there is a link to the competition, and instructions on how to vote there. Sorry to spam the churn, but I know how much you guys will help me out! After all, what's family for?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 04:05:28 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Click this link for a very "special" song.



A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 09:19:15 (PST)

So, today is my birthday, and I find out that Ann Arbor (VERY close to me) is one of only three cities in the US to show the re-release of The Exorcist (one of my top three favorite movies of all time....actually number two behind the original Night of the Living Dead)this weekend. Happy Birthday to me!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 12:18:49 (PST)

Happy Birthday Hempy!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 13:33:56 (PST)

Hippo Birdie Two Ewe
Hippo Birdie Two Ewe
Hippo Birdie Dear Ewe
Hippo Birdie Two Ewe
Smooches Hempster!!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 17:05:13 (PST)

mmm mmmm
Nothing like Pea soup and birthday cake.




A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 17:06:43 (PST)

Oh and Happy Birthday Hemp-meister



A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 17, 2000 at 17:26:46 (PST)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEMPY!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 18, 2000 at 13:43:08 (PST)

Happy birthday a day late to Hempy.. Is it required to drink green beer and puke before 7am on your birthday or do we just drive the snake out of your pants instead?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, March 19, 2000 at 01:09:23 (PST)

Not to gloom anyone out, but I just wanted to report that Joyce's dad finally succumbed to the cancer that he fought so hard against... Thanks to those of you who had kind words...


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 20, 2000 at 18:03:01 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

So sorry, Pale. Peace be with you and Joyce.

On a lighter note, I finally started a Hate Mail page on my Unspeakably Stupid Stories site. My latest story, "Jesus & Me", pissed off some christian idiot, so I felt it was as good a time as any to get started.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 11:31:52 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Way To Go!!! I'm tellin' ya, the Christian Zealot angle has a LOT of promotional potential, there's an eternity of piety and righteousness to tap into. And the whole point of being a preacher is to run your mouth for a living, right? Dr. PPX picked up on that immediately.

I just wanna know when you're gonna quit fooling around with these "chat-trash webrings", and start a New Chat Church that bows down to the Great God Who Created Cyber-Space... President Al Gore!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 15:06:34 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I just noticed the link. Thanks, Doc. If the Church Of WWW.AL_GORE.COM ever needs an html handyman, you know who to call... (call Shocky, cuz PPX don't know jack shit about programming, his blood tested HTML negative, but that's another webpage entirely...)

As I was saying, or was thinking about saying, or maybe just thinking out loud about saying: I met this really interesting person from San Francisco named Demi Monde Thraam, I call her "an advanced specimen of the new mutation". She writes, paints, and does websites. I also must mention that she is funny as a motherfucker! I'm not kidding. Her website is like a big cavernous office building, with doors all over the place. Its dark in there! Sometimes, if you dig around, you can find amazing stuff.

One of the best lines I've heard from Monde was, "Who is Michael Bolton?"

(see http://www.popeye-x.com/_antippx/00000289.htm)

She knows who Dr. Popeye-X is, but she's not quite clear who Michael Bolton is.

Here's some of her 1999 paintings:

PIXELLATION

http://thraam.com/pixellation/index.html

Her front door:

http://thraam.com


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 15:58:17 (PST)

Demi called...she wants to know if you have Nigel's phone number seems she got a free calling card in the mail and thought shed ring his bell...

/me hides behind Doc and hopes her Lawn Gnome repellant spray is working.




A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 16:23:42 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Don't try to hide behind Doc, there is no direction in Cyber Strip-Mall Space. With the right software, any Lawn Gnome worth his sweat glands could suddenly fly out of Doc's asshole and deliver a Cyber *SPANK* in nanoseconds...


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 16:31:50 (PST)

Can I hear an amen?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 18:15:07 (PST)

So I was surfing the net, and I found perhaps the funniest 'real life' Onion website.


www.demonbuster.com

amen


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 06:26:47 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

A demonbuster website? DAMN! I strive so hard to be as "out there" as I can get, and then these friggin' Christians come along and make me look super-sane! I hate it when that happens! That's it, I'm starting a church. I hate to jump on the bandwagon, but I can't take missing out on the crazy shit, not when its piled this high.

amen-x


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 08:00:32 (PST)

Are you saying the Church of Machines is not a real church?


A Butter Patty from: demitria monde thraam
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 08:56:41 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Mein Gott! that demonbuster page is a riot! I'm going to submit that one to memepool right away. (It's a sort of churn-like thang I happen to write articlets for.) PPX gives me the best plugs I've gotten in a long time. A giant dark office building full of doors. I love it! And it will probably be the only office building I ever see in my life...demons willing...Hey, that Demonbuster nutcake left off my favourite demon of all, the Lord of Chaos whose name is CHORONZON. This one's been a personal FRIEND of mine since 1987 or so! And he's righteously offended that this moron calls everything a "demon" including the word "sprite" on a friggin' soft drink can and didn't know or think to include the name of the Lord of Chaos! (Ominous music is playing in my head...I hope that poor sot has earthquake insurance...)

#arf looks very interesting...one of these years I'll probably come and say hi to you people. Right now my sore throat and sinus congestion demons have taken over, though, since I have the killer year 2000 flu) and I guess if I live through it you'll hear from me sometime.

-dmt


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 13:24:12 (PST)

Why am I thinking of Boy George?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 13:32:12 (PST)

HEY. Didja miss me? I've been offline since I fucked up my computer. It takes talent indeed to do that to a mac. But, I'm back up and running (although about $100 poorer). A small price to pay for my own stupidity. Ah well, churn on.

lisa


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 20:28:02 (PST)

I am a demon and yet I had no trouble reading the demon buster page. I was hoping for new tips on demon leg shaving and other busting tips but damn those people are not tolerant at all. My busts are just demonedized and I don't have that...fresh feeling any more. May be that page did something to my demon sex drive? Damn them all to hell!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 22:16:10 (PST)

I'm sure that I'll hear about even saying say so, but I don't think that it takes talent to fuck up a Mac. I think that it takes courage to admit to owning a Mac. In the lifelong debate about Mac versus PC, I submit the following point: Their are a million service locations to service a PC, but you have to be Mac-certified to work on a Mac. I think this pretty much takes the shine out of the Mac-induced argument that Macs are so much easier to work with. People think that Mr. Gates is money-hungry. Point number two reads like this: Do you know how much it COSTS to become a Mac-certified service center. It ain't cheap, and that is exactly why there are so few shops that will even deal with demon-spawn Macs. This is why, typically, it costs twice as much to service a Mac. $100 is a very low service fee for one of those bad boys, and I'd count myself lucky!! Mr. Jobs (or so Satan goes by these days) has quite a racket going on. If I see one more colorful, cheery looking PC wannabe, I think I'll hurl!!!!

I'm just glad that I don't have the Mac fever. I'd hate to try to get software for one.

Besides...PCs are the key to my future employment. Everyone repeat after me....Down with Macs, Down with Macs....

:)

Hempy

PS: Even I have to admit that Macs are useful for two things....graphics and sound. If you work heavily with either of these, by all means, own a Mac and laugh at the poor sod trying to do the same damn thing on a PC. If you don't work with either, well, you do the math.
*This was a cheap disclaimer, trying to keep Doc off my back, since I know he works heavily with graphics. Mac on, Doc!!!!!*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 09:23:04 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Yes, it costs more to service a Mac (exception: G3s and G4s come apart without even a screwdriver, easier to self-service than any PC). $100 compared to $50. Big fucking deal.

The software myth is going on 15 years old now. It's just plain not true, unless you need something obscure like software to run your veterinary clinic. You are welcome to my many unwanted Mac software catalogs which fill my mailbox on a monthly basis.

I just got done working for nearly 3 months on a PC. Where I worked, it was a call to IS to get anything fixed for free, Mac or PC. I didn't think much of PCs before, and now I know... they are MUCH WORSE than I ever imagined. Crash, crash, crash. People who love PCs deserve them!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 13:13:23 (PST)

My computer is beeeetter....neener neener neeeeeeeener


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 16:17:07 (PST)

I LOVE MY MAC!!!!!!!!! PC's suck big time!!!!! I get to laugh at the guy sitting next to me as he tries to deal with his non user friendly PC. You silly old PC people just have no idea what you are missing. I marvel every time I use a PC; why in the hell would people put up with this?


PS. I can lend Hempy some software catalogs also


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 16:21:38 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Simple logic tells you MAC's are better, otherwise, they wouldn't exist.

The question logic doesn't answer is : Who Gives A Fuck?

(Just a mean ol' German's opinion...)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 19:19:37 (PST)

Can't we all just get along?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 20:25:54 (PST)

Well, Hempy, thanks for the opinion. We'll take it with the grain of salt we usually reserve for you. By the way, I can tell your post was written by a PC user. The bad grammar gives you away. (shameful use of the word "their")

*lick*

lisa


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 20:56:02 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Here's a person who uses BOTH.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 21:48:10 (PST)

Man, Hempec... even I know that PCs suck ass. Even I use a Mac at home.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, March 25, 2000 at 19:08:11 (PST)

I HUNG OUT WITH GOATS TODAY!!

:)


A Butter Patty from: TwoTone
on Saturday, March 25, 2000 at 19:49:20 (PST)

I'm here with a blast from the past. Hope all you guys and gals are doing well. Brenda and I just bought a house and got our DSL hooked up. Hopefully I can catch some of you online sometime.

Later

Greg


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 07:24:48 (PST)

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
And Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday and
5% on Friday
And help me to remember...
When Im having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are TRYING to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite my ass.
AMEN


A Butter Patty from: restorey
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 07:29:12 (PST)

got this by email and thought you all make get a laugh out of it as well.
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting"




A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 08:12:06 (PST)

That was almost painful. ;P


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 08:48:11 (PST)

anyone have any idea how many times that joke has been posted?....<--too lazy to go through all the churns


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 16:29:00 (PST)

I always thought it was called an Amish Trot By.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 16:32:27 (PST)

Just what would Amish folks be doing with any sort of repeating gun anyway... At best they'd have a musket...


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, March 27, 2000 at 18:55:57 (PST)

looks like everyone could use a hug.. including me .. so here

((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 at 11:58:57 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Q: What do you call "spam-spam-spam-spam-clop-clop-clop-clop"?

A: An Amish-X Spam-By.


btw... To Luna: If you're feeling kindy "huggy", you might look into Cyber *HUG*, it sounds like you've got your arms full.

----> i. e. ((((("EVERY" one))))) <----

Without a software application, just hugging Kentucky alone will take years, if not decades. With Cyber *HUG*, you can mass-mail in gargantuan anonymous blocks, its like a shotgun, you just aim in general, and it takes out the entire target, and anything else that happens to be nearby. Some people think of this as *OVERHUG*, but this is not a conflict for a "Ninja Of Caring" like Popeye-X.

*hug-x*


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 at 18:39:57 (PST)

My sisters neighbors have goats, lamas and they used to have a bunny that pooped all over the den. Luna, are these the people you want to hang out with? Fudge yes, but look in to those beady yellow eyes and ask your self.....Is all this goat poo worth it?



(((((((((((((((((((((((LUNA XOXOXOXO)))))))))))))))))))


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 30, 2000 at 04:41:11 (PST)

Yes it is :)



A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, March 30, 2000 at 18:13:59 (PST)

I am putting in a order for Lunas cheve'. A cottage industry is about to bloom.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 31, 2000 at 03:10:56 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

The month is about to flip this churn over, ya'll don't mind if I reach down into the entrails of this churn, and scoop out some o' them Popcorn Fly eggs that have been growing down there, right? Man, I found some kurdacious larvae attached to the tip of the churn plunger. It was awful. I broke the blade off my favorite drywall knife trying to pry those butter-suckin' leeches out of the churn's inner guts, but its like a snake pit in there, with heaps of Popcorn grub worms, crawling thru thickly coagulated butter kurds, all the while gnawing away furiously at any html butter patties that get in their way. It seems like they might prefer to melt them down into grease spots, rather than "kurd them up" into nice fluffy cottage cheese TV dinner entrees.

Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot why I even came here, there was a band, called The Kyrds, ever hear 'em? They had a song, "Churn, Churn, Churn"? Remember?


"To every post
churn, churn, churn...
there is a patty
churn churn churn..."

The Kyrds were pretty good, for a folk Iraqi group. Unfortunately, the government dropped mustard gas on the Iraqipaloooza Festival, and the Kyrds were found clutching their guitars, with their faces frozen in agonizing contortions, and just covered with mustard gas blisters from head to toe, with massive quantities of angry Popcorn Fly larvae, crawling in and out of every conceivable nostril and eye socket... ravenously gnawing the impacted patty nubs, soaked into the churn plunger tip... that's where that tasty Saffron Crisco builds up, paraplegic one-eyed lesbians comb it into their pompadours all the time, they even call it "Butch Wax".

but them kyrds sure had a whey with certain songs, didn't they?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 31, 2000 at 06:02:33 (PST)

SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

My first "going out" adventure this week involves a hockey game (which i fully intend on blacking out my front teeth). Me and some girlfriends are going bar hopping after that. should I lose the blackened teeth for that part?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 31, 2000 at 15:56:25 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hell, no. Aren't you in Kentucky? Without the blacked-out teeth, you'll stand out too much.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, March 31, 2000 at 21:39:18 (PST)

ok first I have to say eeeewie... Now that I feel better, Luna, don't lsiten to Doc go with that beautiful smile and the milk maid out fit you will be a huge hit. The bars will never be the same.


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