July '97

As the world Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fight on the DALnet


Churn out a Post?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, June 23, 1997 at 23:06:25 (PDT)

Test. Happy July.


A Butter Patty from: billyz/gif
on Monday, June 23, 1997 at 23:16:55 (PDT)

LOL... you dink.. lol easy way to fix the mac's eh doc? LOL j/k!


BillyZ


A Butter Patty from: frac/gig
on Tuesday, June 24, 1997 at 10:37:10 (PDT)

Doh! How do you post your pic again? j/k


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, June 24, 1997 at 12:40:59 (PDT)

So, Doc, you can change the balance of time, eh? I'm almost impressed. For taking nearly two weeks outof the prime of my life, I (and I'm sure I speak for everyone else here) fully expect compensation for missed wages, dole money, and any sexual intercourse we've now missed out on.
Either that, or I demand that you transport me back to May 1983 - Deborah Cutts gave me a love bite on my neck during a museum trip and I ran off in sheer terror, and I really feel I need to right this wrong before I can get on with my life. I also promise to buy as many Microsoft shares for the channel as my paper boy job I had at the time allowed.

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, June 24, 1997 at 15:12:34 (PDT)

Sounds fair to me, Nish. Here's fifty cents.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, June 24, 1997 at 17:48:05 (PDT)

HOLY TIME TRAVEL, DOC!!!

The way you wield that absolute power of yours makes my nipples erect!! >:)
Do you think you could turn the clock back to 1984?? That would put be back as a studly high school senior and maybe I could avoid becoming the delinquent I turned out to be today! C'mon Doc...be a pal!! :) Remember our days in the Canadian Air Force and pull a timewarp for me...


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, June 25, 1997 at 12:03:23 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

-The Candster Joins The Time Travel Brigade-
Ok, Doc...make it 1963. That would put me on a Grassy Knoll....and it would put you in the age group that Candy prefers.
/action offers Doc Lincoln Logs if he'll get in her car.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, June 25, 1997 at 16:23:42 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

it was probably my animated gif for THE DENIZINEthat was fucking up the macs.
it's always my fault.
they tried to blame the brown acid on me, too..but I swear it wasn't me...i was only a zygote at the time...
then, they tried to blame the Beatle's break up on me, but I swear it was Linda's doing. When I slept with Ringo, the Beatles had already disbanded, i swear.

THanks for the time warp, doc. Let's do the time warp again.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, June 25, 1997 at 18:24:50 (PDT)

Urrrgh...wotcha, geezers...I'm just recovering from a 14 hour editing marathon of low-quality British smut videos, the highlight of which was watching one old dear try to get her nipple in her mouth for 4 whole minutes. It was SO British...the dogged battle against the odds...the Bulldog determination...the never-say-die attitude that carried us through 2 world wars (I almost expected an American to arrive and give her a hand just when she had nearly done it and then try to take all the credit)...the have-a-go, can-do spirit inbrued in every child of the Blighty soil,...Jesus, I thought I was gonna weep, WEEP, WEEEEEEPPPPP! They should put it on the BBC at the end of every night, instead of 'God Save The Queen'. What man can say that Britain is a third-world backwater living on past glories? To that man I say FIE! Also, I don't see too many of us falling over ourselves like kids in a playground to buy Barbara Bush's old cast-offs.

Fuckin' hell, chaps...I LOVE this country!

NISHLORD


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, June 26, 1997 at 15:40:36 (PDT)

That's because Barbara Bush's old cast-off is named George, and I swear he is her husband, NOT her son, as some of you believe.

Also, I would like to take all the credit for that last post. Thanky.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, June 27, 1997 at 16:41:52 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

At last...prostrate yourself before the bulbous TRUTH, Brothers and Sisters...


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, June 29, 1997 at 10:20:21 (PDT)

Thanks to everyone who wished me the best on my birthday. I had a great one!


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, June 30, 1997 at 12:05:53 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

It seems our little English Pal, Nishy, is NOT amused with the Salute to Independence Day on my Web Site. Boo fooken hoo. It is a fact that every English man over the age of 29 looks like Benny Hill. Or worse, Ronny Corbet. Deal with it.
And another goddamn thing......don't make me explain the concept of "Ice" to you, Nish...
Proud to be a Damn Yank,
The Candster :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, June 30, 1997 at 16:29:45 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oh, dear. Once again, another tatty gauntlet is tossed at my Nazerine feet. I'm not rising to your bait, Candy - I expect nothing but the brash arrogance of the Colonial every time I set foot in this place. Sigh...


Anyway, I need a favour from you. With Hong Kong being returned to the Chinese, we have a huge backlog of civil servants, soldiers and other rubbish that we need to get shut of. The racecourse down our way was full of these people today watching it on a big telly - obviously, they're all too horsey to have one in their own homes. The point is, we urgently need somewhere else to colonise.


If you have any of the following, please get in touch:


A large back garden
An empty swimming pool
A big garage
A spare room, or cupboard



You'll get the following benefits:


A gin-sodden old cruster in a white pith helmet
An official visit by a member of the royal family (not Fergie)
Weekly parades on your front garden
FREE entry in the Commonwealth Games!

So, be the first kid on your block to join the wonderful, go-ahead fast-track British Empire!


Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 01, 1997 at 10:57:48 (PDT)

Um..... did someone say ICE?heh hehlisa


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 01, 1997 at 18:38:02 (PDT)

I dunno about all this 4th of July hoopla....not that I'm not a proud Amercian/exCanadian fighter pilot and all; but how much Brit bashing can one man really do anyway?? Personally I think I'll just strip nekkid and run around the block with a couple of sparklers singing "This land is your land" Actually in order to create the full effect I may have to position a hollow rocket in a strategic location...its something to ponder :)

God Bless America and all that :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 01, 1997 at 20:24:04 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

One thing though, did you notice when we left OUR Asian colony, it was with fireworks, marching displays, Charle Jugs in full regalia and all the pomp and circumstance that only dear old Blighty can produce? Now then, what happened when you were in that position? Hmmm...scrambling to get on a chopper from the top of a building, wasn't it?


Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 01, 1997 at 21:47:17 (PDT)

Vietnam was a colony? Damn, that's what I get for skipping History (or Current Events as it were) and getting all my knowledge from the movies.


A Butter Patty from: http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/2993/BEAVER.GIF
on Tuesday, July 01, 1997 at 23:45:44 (PDT)

hello i hope to be the pic of the week


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 01:05:12 (PDT)

Hello to all!!!
It has been a while
Just want to say hello!!
Hal or Schecky if you see this please leave a post i miss talking to you
I hope everything is going well. I will try to email you soon BYe
Billy sorry i haven't seen you either. Doc i saw you a while back but hello
again. s}{0ck whats up dude!!! Man i miss all you guys.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 01:06:53 (PDT)

geuss my pic aint here no more. this and the one above is from PopeJohnPaulGeorgeRingo


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 01:07:53 (PDT)

maybe it does


A Butter Patty from: CloverBee
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 02:15:10 (PDT)

Hey all LTNS and all that crap.. same old same old around here no rest for the wicked no mercy for the weak, blah blah blah.....POPE I miss ya sweetie ,tell billy to stop drinking the toilet water again if you see him first....It's gonna give him brain damage!!!
Love ya all,
hope I get to stop by more often....
Happy fourth guys


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 03:41:57 (PDT)

Sorry Doc, Vietnam wasn't an American colony...but we could have told you that 30 years ago when y'all was labouring under that delusion. Can we get off this subject, anyway? I'm worried that John Rambo might be a #ARF regular on the quiet, and he might come over and put a few shells in my flat. Well, you don't know...it might happen...


Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 10:31:14 (PDT)

HEY
I'm an aunt!! (no, not the bug) I have a new nephew, Tristan Alexander, weighing in at 9lbs. 10oz. and 22 inches (that's head to toe, boys). How exciting! I can interfere in his life too ;)
me? never!
lisa


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 12:33:23 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

New babies make for exciting times, MaidenIce. But wait!...it gets even MORE exciting. Like when that baby boy turns 13, and your neighbor calls you to tell you that he's smoking behind her garage. These are Golden Days, indeed. Cheers!
Gotta run....helping Candy Jr pack for the Military Academy....
-The Candster


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 13:03:38 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Congratulations Lisa!!! Hope you will have a picture of your new nephew to show off soon!
Candy, I have a daughter who just turned 13. I know what you are going through. I'm there for ya!

Check out my web page.



A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 13:44:41 (PDT)

Geeez... even my amazing Independence day run (as seen in last post) has got to take a back seat to aunthood! Congratulations Lisa. I was going to invite you to the festivities at my place..but I guess you'll be babysitting for a long long while >:)


Raven

P.S. If it rains I DO get to take a red white and blue umberella!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 02, 1997 at 15:25:54 (PDT)

It's just as well, Nish, whenever called upon to defend Old Glory, I wind up defending some huge, criminal mistake I was totally against anyway. Republicans, for example.
So, to change the subject... Who is this Trusty the Hedgehog fellow, anyway?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 03, 1997 at 16:49:37 (PDT)

Hmmm... bit quiet in here, innit?


Have a nice doss on Friday, you yank bastards...


Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 06:44:12 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAVEN I HAVE THE SPARKLERS!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 10:15:55 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I'm running out the door as I type...Jello Shooter Mold in hand. Making the individual Shooters is just not festive enough for the "Holiday Q"....Raspberry, Blueberry and Vodka. Yummy! Looks lovely in the American Flag Mold...garnish with Olives, or lemon twists...your choice. ...and the shopping bag of illegal fireworks I drove to Indiana to procure is already in the car...so off I go! /action Candy wishes you all a Happy Holiday Weekend!
KI
ss


A Butter Patty from: a fine American
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 11:20:30 (PDT)


Happy Fourth Y'all!



A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 16:10:38 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

A Guestbook has been added to my web page. Thanks to Candy!

Headed out for a pool party! Have a happy and safe 4th!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 16:43:26 (PDT)

There went my chance to see Luna in a swimsuit. :(


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 17:12:48 (PDT)

Help me...I've just come back from a piss up with the lads to find two drag queens in me flat! and they tried to snog me! I'm just sitting there on the settee, and they're mincing about with my toilet mat on their heads...


This must be some kind of divine retribution...


Nishlord, a bit worried, to be honest


A Butter Patty from: RuPaul
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 20:22:45 (PDT)

Why are English men so enamoured with Drag Queens?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 04, 1997 at 21:08:31 (PDT)

Hiya Folks....


Just wanted to let you know that first annual nude sparkler run was a great success. I managed to raise almost two dollars and sixty two cents for the society of a amateur American gynecologists. There was only one injury along the way. Just after my first stop for gatorade I fell and stubbed my rocket. :(

Raven


A Butter Patty from: A_Bystander
on Saturday, July 05, 1997 at 01:36:05 (PDT)

Raven: *OUCH*


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, July 05, 1997 at 10:39:56 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.


Attention! You can now visit the Dancing Outlaw link on my web page! I misspelled a word in it.
I guess thats why i never won any of the spelling bee contests in school.

ha ha ha


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 07, 1997 at 11:41:04 (PDT)

Cor Blimey O' Reilly...I leave you alone for FIVE BASTARD MINUTES and you just stand there like a bunch o' MONGS, not saying a damn word. I need help, friends...



My best mate has been asked to be best man for our other mates' wedding (yes, that's right, I have at least TWO friends - don't act so surprised). The problem is, he fucking well HATES him (as do we all, cos he's a skanking little ponce who'll think nothing of ripping you off blind - for example, one time he went out to score some gange and asked me if he could borrow a tenner off me cashpoint card, and he came back with an ounce and I said "Hurrah! Did you get it on tick?" and he said "No, I got 100 out your account instead. Bastard, Bastard, BASTARRRDDDD!!!!)


Anyway, he's got to come up with a speech, right, that brings out his good points, and what a nice young lad he is, etc etc, without alluding to the fact that he's a shitbag. Here's what the two of us have come up with so far;


I've known Damian for a few years now.

I've known his girlfriend Jane for a bit less.

And now they're married.


And that's it. Seeing as America is the birthplace of saccarine insincerity, you are our last hope. Please! Help! Or we'll have to tell the ugly truth, which'll ruin the day better than if we just stood on the table and urinated on the Bride's Mam.


Yours in hope,


Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 07, 1997 at 20:23:12 (PDT)

Nish,

Since I have neither the familiarity of the local vernacular nor the intelligence to write an actual speech, all I can do is try to help with a few buzzwords, as we call them, or more "buzz-phrases", as it were.

"creative with finances" - I have a nephew two years my junior who is creative with finances, and once served three years in a State Correctional Facility thanks to said creativity.

"will make a wonderful husband for Jane" - This could mean any number of things, from being equally ugly or loathsome as his bride, to the possibility that Jane only wants to be married for a year or less. In any case, no one will hold you to this, because nobody knows what a "wonderful husband" is anyway.

"a bright future together" - This assumes the groom could not be a bigger low-life than he is now.

"Damian is a lucky man" - Damian doesn't have to know that what you mean is "Damian is lucky to be getting laid by someone from his own species".

I hope these help, although crafting a speech may actually be more painful than just going ahead and urinating on the bride's Mam.

Doc


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 08, 1997 at 12:22:22 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Geeez, Nish. How odd that you and the Mates didn't think to start a Footie fight after the cake, and before the Toast! Raucous chants of Toon Forrest! and Man United! seem a sure fire way to avoid the obligatory Testimonial. Good ol' Hooliganism is the Way To Go, bebe. I TSK you for overlooking the Obvious "English Way". And, come to think of it, a Hooligan brawl still allows one to urinate on the Bride's Mam.
Glad to be able to Help,
-The Candster


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 08, 1997 at 14:53:03 (PDT)

Er...what the fuck is a 'Toon Forrest'?

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from: candyo.aghast
on Tuesday, July 08, 1997 at 17:58:55 (PDT)

And you call yourself an Englishman.
Tut.
-The Candster


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 08, 1997 at 22:20:50 (PDT)

I figured she was talking about ME.

Doc


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 09, 1997 at 06:10:16 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.


Finally downloaded netscape! Things sure are different!


A Butter Patty from: bonkeydalls
on Wednesday, July 09, 1997 at 09:22:35 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Boy..I saw "Men In Black" over the weekend...and..um...enjoyed it...damn..now i have nothing to write about.

I've given up on Netscape - almost...Attn: mac users..check out candy_in_cyber_luv
on Wednesday, July 09, 1997 at 13:08:23 (PDT)

uh Oh.......I think the Churn's broken. Again.
-The Candster :(


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 09, 1997 at 15:40:00 (PDT)

Give it a kick, someone....


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 10, 1997 at 10:14:19 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I don't want to point any fingers here, but *I* think bonkeydalls broke the Churn. WTG! (Did anyone else notice that it's always his fault?)
The-Did I mention I'm in CyberLuv?-Candster


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 10, 1997 at 17:04:16 (PDT)

*sigh*....again?


A Butter Patty from: luna
on Friday, July 11, 1997 at 09:11:01 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

what happened last night?????


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 11, 1997 at 09:27:41 (PDT)

Well, Luna, I had me tea, then I watched Hi-De-Hi, then I listened to the gramophone, called me mother, had a herbal cigarette and then went to bed. Why do you ask?

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 11, 1997 at 09:42:26 (PDT)

Well, luna......what happened last night you inquire? In a word, I'd have to say....151.
*Throwing my hands in the air like netlesbian*
-The Candster


A Butter Patty from: bettyford
on Friday, July 11, 1997 at 15:26:02 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

woke up with a vague memory of irc.



A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, July 12, 1997 at 11:54:45 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I woke up this morning ... got myself a beer.....Nah, not really. I'm lying...and that's a song anyway. I DID wake up after having the strangest dream tho! I was a princess...and some pony's ass changed their nik to mine and made a snide topic about me being vegan, and of course,the coward wouldn't own up to it..I thought it was funny anyway...and then all my pals started bickering :( and then...here's the GOOD part.....everyone typed to me that they thought everyone else was getting way TOO serious about all this stuff...so.....I forced myself to wake up...and I realized that it was only a dream, and like I say....it's ONLY Typing for gawd sake! :) Ahhhh...brand new day...so let's make the most of it?:) Oh yeah, *I* think MIB SUCKS....whatta waste of time and cash and NO cute guys to drool over....and I'm never eating Tofu and drinking wine before I go to bed again.
See ya all in The Barn....and that's a Hope.:) And Fitzie's a Lusty Young Lad!
-The Candster


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, July 13, 1997 at 14:10:08 (PDT)

Just wanted to remind you all that today is NOID -- National Outdoor Intercourse Day.
Please celebrate in a responsible manner.
Thank you.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, July 13, 1997 at 21:24:06 (PDT)

DAMN!! How is it that I am learning about this wonderful holiday, now? At 9pm!!
How could I possibly make up for so much lost time??
*fractious walks out pulling her hair, determined to master this mission*


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 02:20:49 (PDT)

This is my first entry on the churn ever, and i have been with some of you for a long time. So yes this is a moment in history. I write this with great care hoping all the regulars of the room will see this and i have somthing important to say. About two months ago i created my own chat room, and had planned to break with ARF. My creation was for me and i was willing to include all who wanted to be apart of it. I thought it was time for me to "do my own thing." I was wrong. This is my reason why I am here... Doc made this room for all of us, for enjoyment, all we do is type to one another. This is my room, as well as your room, this is Doc's room. If your pic is on the homepage then you are apart of something. Harsh feelings have been running pretty rampant lately, perhaps we are getting bored with each other due to being so close to one another. I think its about time we had a newbie drive, something we all could work for. I should say that ARF is for people of a special breed, this is what makes us unique. Unfortunately, lately I have been acting pretty petty. i think we all should give as good as we get and this is where i should change. There is not one person that is a regular that i am not fond of in this room. Look at the pictures on the hompage and ask yourself if you dont get a mental image of them. Again i must say, all we do is type to one another, we are not writing war and peace we are writing for each others amusement. If i have offended any of you (and especially one of you) with my ignorance of late, I am truly sorry. What do you all think? I want to keep ARF up and running by avoiding sides or schisms, and mostly I want to meet knew people. ARF EMPIRE BABY! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! (heh) in short, all i want to say is I I LOVE YOU LIL FUCKERS!!!!! AND WE NEED NEW LIL FUCKERS SO I CAN LOVE THEM TOO!!!! (i hope you all dont think this was too hokey, and if ya do fuck ya)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 02:24:58 (PDT)

GODDAM THAT WAS A LONG FUCKIN POST :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 05:00:16 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I've got a better idea. Why don't we all become schizophrenic? That way we double our membership at a stroke, whilst still remaining small and cliquey. I am going to be a Brazillian who incessently keeps asking "Any sex girls want hot chat with Brazillian man of horn?" and bombard anyone with a vaguely female-sounding nick with crude suggestions. Candy could be a talking fish called Roy or something, and Doc could pretend to be a well-rounded, attractive, well-respected nice youmg lad.

Just a thought.

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 16:03:51 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

DOC RANTS: A FIRESIDE CHAT FROM YOUR FOUNDER AND (GENERALLY) NON-HOSTILE GENERALISSIMO

Gang,
I have recently managed to get my dick in the wringer over the exclusion of people promoting dom/sub behavior. This is not the first time there has been trouble over this. Last time, we set some policies to curb the more annoying aspects of this in channel: No introducing yourself in channel with a flood of text describing yourself as some mediaeval dork, and no acting out that slave/master shit except in jest (yes, this amounts to fucking murky and imperfect policy, but policy nonetheless). Some recent discoveries of mine have led me to tighten policy further to include the following: No promoting of this type of behavior in channel. This includes the wearing of collars (I'm not going to describe this further because I know a bunch of you yahoos will do it just to mock me), or anything that can be read in your /whois profile, such as a "real name" describing you as a participant in behavior described above, or currently being in a channel known to exist exclusively for these practices.

Now, before the big tomato-toss begins, let me say: You CAN beat the system. IRC ain't exactly rocket science, bucko, so if you really feel the need to be in #ARF and play Pony & Princess at the same time, simply sign on to a second server, with a nice innocuous /whois profile, userid and nick, and you are welcome to come play all night. Obviously, it's none of my (or anyone else's) business WHAT the hell you do in other channels, as long as we don't KNOW about it. K?

As for those "slaves" who aren't "allowed" to use another nick: Hey. They've got personal problems that are well beyond the scope of channel policy.

WHY THE NEW POLICY, OR "WHY ARE YOU BEING AN ASSHOLE, DOC?"
To answer the former, let's look at the reason that #ARF is a success (of sorts) in the first place. I can only theorize here, but I have to say that reasonable gender balance is important to a channel like ours. I mean, do you think I want to hang out with Nishy all night? Hardly. So. I have always tried to make the channel the kind of place where those of the female persuasion can go and not be harrassed by "Brazilian men of horn" (see above post) and other horny teen-age virgin miscreants. So, when some female hon-yock arrives and parades the collar of slavery, it flies in the face of everything I -- and many of you -- have worked hard for the channel to be.

I think most people agree that slavery was morally reprehensible. Whether play-acting said slavery is or isn't morally reprehensible is up to all to decide as individuals. As for me, I feel it is a shame that so many people have rushed to embrace oppression in a community -- the Net -- that is potentially more oppression-free than any other medium that ever came before. I admittedly don't know shit about mediaeval dom/sub rooms, but what little I do know makes me sad for the people involved. I exercise my right to NOT go there, and they have the same right regarding our lil channel. Those capable of operating under their own free will, that is.

Thanks.

(DOC will be posting these RANTS on a monthly basis in the future, or whenever he feels the need to remove a large arthropod from his rectum.)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 18:40:16 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.


ACHTUNG!


I, Der OppenFuhrer, have ANNEXED this barn for your own good, SCHWEIN!

Resistance is futile, Tommy #ARFer...I will crush you like a fly should you try to rise against me and my Master Race (population:1)! You will comply with my orders and burn your logfiles in the street! SCHNELL!

You have all fallen into the ways of decadence, gambling on slots and whoring whilst good Amish pursuits fall by the wayside. PERVERTEN RAUS! There will be NO masters here but ME, you inferior CURS! Ha ha ha...for you, Amish, the war is over...



Doc Uber Alles!

Typing Macht Frei!



Now, reeducation begins here.


Heil Me,

Der Oppenfuhrer



A Butter Patty from: Der Oppenfuhrer
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 18:47:52 (PDT)

Donner Und Blitzen! You insolent pigdogs sabotage my image...

And that thing with the question mark is my new flag...Bill Gates owns copyright on the swastika, the SCHWEIN!

Jawohl,

Der Oppenfuhrer


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 19:10:55 (PDT)

Right...this time I get it right...

This bastard thing took ages, and is more trouble then it's worth...

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from: Eva Sue Braun
on Monday, July 14, 1997 at 20:08:19 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again." Who's Doc supposed to be? Corporate Allemagne Man?" (Sic?) (Sic Heil?) I'm shakin my lil' blonde head, and lighting another smoke off my gas range. And another goddamn thing: "Candy" has put a salute to Bastille Day on her front page. DOH! Does she ever rest? I'm waiting with much *tingliness* for her page on just HOW hairy BritBoy really is...
-The Braunster
ps. Nish is my Art God. Wanna feel my Monkey, Nish? -eva


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 15, 1997 at 00:49:12 (PDT)

FROM ZERO TO HERO

Hey folks...the bacon of our lil room was saved today by none other than patient_zer0, who found the channel to be unregistered upon entering. He quickly re-registered and turned it back over to your founders, Billy & I. I am still in the process of re-entering the aop list, please write me if you find yourself excluded (unless you were already excluded, like that annoying foreigner Nishlord).

The reason the room became "un-registered" was because of a quirk in the DAL that allows this sort of thing to happen under certain circumstances, which we will now work to avoid in the future. This happened once before, but now we are less mystified and have a handle on it.

Anyway... a big hand for 0, our hero!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 15, 1997 at 08:33:16 (PDT)

Right...I'm putting myself FIRST on the waiting list for a Versace vital organ - a nice designer kidney would make such a Jouche accessory!

I also want to do the catering for the funeral - a coupla sticks of celery and a joblot of sickbags...easy money...

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from: Fitzie
on Tuesday, July 15, 1997 at 11:14:17 (PDT)

{{{{{{{{{all you wonderful people}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

So like HEY i don't get on the Web to often on account of my DAMN IE try's to download the WHOLE damn page, so like today i put in Old disk of Netscape, ummm 1.0 LOL and it took LONGER than I expected to load this up but that's OK it's my day off, and I'm just sitting here vegging anyways:) SO just wanted to say JOHNO I agree with you, YOU da MAN:) We need a NEWBIE DRIVE and I prefer NEWBIE"S with BIGGUNS Besides Johno, I sat there with you in the other channel #Sheep-in-Mens-clothing and DAMMIT to HELL we didn't get any action, hmm maybe cuz it's at the bottom of the list, should we try #A-Sheep-in-Mens-Clothing?!?
Just a thought:)

Your favorite SICK PUPPY
Fitziepooh


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 15, 1997 at 15:33:32 (PDT)

Umm...So I was wondering, can women join this #Sheep-in-mens-clothing?
And if we can, do we wear collars?


A Butter Patty from: Mr. Candy-O
on Tuesday, July 15, 1997 at 18:48:22 (PDT)

Heard about the Newbie Drive and came to check it out. How could you not follow Der Oppenfuhrer! Sign me up right away.

Candy-O's Roomie


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, July 15, 1997 at 19:15:22 (PDT)

Arrgh! Thanks to this fucking newbie drive, I have just been in the channel and didn't recognise anyone! (Except Stampy, and I don't that the fuck she's gibbering on about anyway). Come now, chaps, you know I'm a busy man with little time to spend on IRC...I can't waste my time explaining for the millionth time what a 'spliff' is...and I get scared and withdrawn in the company of strangers...rescue me....


Nishlord, toying with the idea of shaving his head


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 16, 1997 at 10:57:23 (PDT)

It's just been on the news that Carnanan The Barbarian might target other Gay celebrities, so get your fucking money out and come and see Honest Nish...


Elton John - 11/8 Fav

George Michael - 3/1

Goldust - 5/1

Rupert Everett - 8/1

Quentin Crisp - 12/1

Boy George - 14/1

Smithers - 25/1

Gordon Eliott - 33/1

John Inman - 50/1

The Village People - 100/1


I'm gonna stick a tenner on Hugh Grant - dunno if he's gay or not, I just hate the floppy-haired twat...


Nishlord


PS - I have already copyrighted the following sick jokes - 'Versace's latest outfit - a wooden overcoat', 'heads are worn off the shoulder this season', and 'the pallbearers at the funeral will mince down the aisle, swivel round, and mince back up it again'. My lawyers are watching....



A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 16, 1997 at 12:27:28 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oh geeez, Nish. Don't encourage the roomie. Puhleese! Anyhoo, I'll take some of that action. I'll Put a couple of Quid on Quentin Crisp...and lemme see...put me down for a bob or 2 on Oscar Wilde while you're at it
-The Candster
Copyrighted my own Versace Tribute...and it goes like this: "Does this mean all the stuff hanging in my closet is now worth MORE?"


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 16, 1997 at 16:59:45 (PDT)

so, i just wanted to say a big ol "congrats" n stuff to my buddy, DISCO, on his impending nuptials. It seems that he actually found the woman of his dreams on IRC, and they are gonna get marred in a week or so. Good luck, man:) (sucker)

I was also thinking today about my dad. He's quite a thinktank, and taught me many "truths" while I was growing up. Most of these "basic rules to live by" were recited to me on a daily basis, and I have found some worth in them. Hence, i give you Bob's truth of the day:

"You can lie to me, but you can't lie to yourself"

I heard this gem of wisdom daily, usually during dinner, when Bob asked me what I did during school, and if I learned anything. Invariably, it was recited after i had finished giving an honest appoximation of my day, irritating me to no end. I have, however, shocked myself by reciting this to people who seem to think they can pull one over on me. Learn it and use it well....


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 16, 1997 at 19:42:50 (PDT)

Thanks Jules, I think I just might do that.


A Butter Patty from: deesco
on Wednesday, July 16, 1997 at 23:11:53 (PDT)

dang, did i sound threatening? didnt mean to folks; apologies...:)


A Butter Patty from: bonkeyrat
on Thursday, July 17, 1997 at 05:12:58 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

ok...I'm gonna try to churn without fucking anything up...

Everyone see hotwired this week? (I'd link to it, but that seems to be the cause of my fucked up posts...but it's www.hotwired.com)
Yes, my dear friends, yours truely, the guy that you may see in ARF for about 10 minutes a month,
was voted "Geek of the Week" - I'm so honored....mini-series deal is pending.
And Nish, I'll put $20 on all three Hanson brothers (of "Mmm-bop" fame) - they may not
know their sexuality yet, but if my friend Andy had his way.......


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 17, 1997 at 09:14:39 (PDT)

RIGHT, that's IT...this has to be the most piss-boring day in my whole life...I'm gonna shave me head out of something to do...no, don't stop me...this is the time for ACTION...

Nishlord, White Moses-to-be


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 17, 1997 at 11:46:38 (PDT)

Halfway through shaving my head...looking like a burns victim at the moment...what the fuck is THIS? 6...(shave, shave)....6....(tentative shave loaded with tension)...5. Phew!

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 17, 1997 at 13:55:16 (PDT)

Er, I look...erm...bald.

Nishlord


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 17, 1997 at 15:12:24 (PDT)

Would someone paleeeeeese give that man something to do?!?!?!?


A Butter Patty from: Candy-O
on Saturday, July 19, 1997 at 09:40:30 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Time to enjoy the weekend! And what better way to enjoy than with a look at Denizine! My new article (and tribute to Gianni Versace and Andrew Cunanan) is up...and judging from my email.....making a statement! Ok...I'm off...doing the streets of Wild Chicago...(Bail Money arranged in advance)
-TheCandster
http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan/Denizine


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, July 19, 1997 at 17:14:52 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Doc:
Having just read your "Fireside Rant" dated July 14, I am once again reminded as to why I like you so much... in a manly way of course.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, July 20, 1997 at 08:02:18 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

A note to Andrew Cunanan (and the rest of ya...):
It's been brought to my attention that the link I provided to "Denizine" doesn't work. Well hell, it's a documented fact I'm html challenged! Deal With It. :) Here's another attempt....and if this one doesn't work, blame bonkeydalls.
Off to wash stuff....and get a tan...
-The Candster
http://www.concentric.net/~Ratshan/denizine/
(also in the link above if you don't like typing!)


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, July 20, 1997 at 22:44:34 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey all!

Thought i would let you know about the new links on my web page.
Check them out!! Don't worry. The Goat Sounds link is still there!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 23, 1997 at 15:58:07 (PDT)

Ooh, well let's not all speak at once, eh?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 23, 1997 at 16:08:12 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

has anyone seen my sacred goat?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, July 23, 1997 at 18:32:48 (PDT)

okokok
I KNOW i've been gone for awhile. What's wrong with my ailing ARF???? I'm away for a little while and all hell breaks loose? Can't you guys live without me???

Anyway, I just want all you regs to know I love you all--you know that. If'n ya don't....now ya do. SMOOCH

lisa


A Butter Patty from: Fitzypooh
on Thursday, July 24, 1997 at 08:54:27 (PDT)

Hello all you wonderful peoples!!!!!

Here's something for everyone to check out, so I thought I would post it here:): So here it os

the mp3 is an improved type of sound file that is much
higher quality and takes up less hard drive space than a
wave. Example: A 3:26 wave at 11khz, 16 bit stereo is
8865KB. A 3:26 mp3 at 11khz, 32 bitseconds stereo is 804KB.
Playing them requires a special player called winplay3. The
player is now available in 16 bit or 32 bit versions at
http://www.iis.fhg.de/audio/index.html

Nothing spectacular:) But something to check out

BTW Rumor has it that the Goat is in Rob's closet, something about a Cult Rob's in where they shave a Goats Ass along with there own heads, mix the hair all together in a blender, super glue it on there chins,
Thus you get the term Goatee /rims Ok so I won't quit my Day job:)

Love you all like distant cousins, that we've never got along with cuz of some family arguement.....ahhh nevermind

Fitzie
th


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, July 25, 1997 at 07:33:10 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey, you crazy kids, get yourself on this HTML biscuit...mah new e-zine, Discontent Provider, full of, well, me moaning about life and being a cheeky bastard, basically. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be working for Nickelodeon's UK web site from next week, so HURRAH! I have one weekend to deprogramme myself from my porn mindset and become a children's entertainer...this is gonna be tough...

Anyway, I gotta go and touch the green green grass of home and listen to me Mam whittling about me head...be lucky, geezers...

Nishlord, just waiting for something to to happen that'll fuck it up again


A Butter Patty from: disco
on Friday, July 25, 1997 at 14:49:46 (PDT)

sadly nuff, nish, i dont think the two are very different. both genres are kinda pandering to a childlike mindset. you'll do just fine :) Everyone have a great weekend, im off to clog all weekend. (go ahead n laff, cuz im laffin at myself, too)


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, July 26, 1997 at 15:59:35 (PDT)

Dear Luna...


I have kidnapped your sacred goat and am holding her for hostage in a warehouse just outside Hackensack N.J. (I can tell you the location because nobody in his right mind would go there anyway...) I have only the following demands...

1) Full custody of the "Farm Use Only" VW Van

2) Twenty five pounds of laced goatsmilk fudge

3) A public admission to your lack of "stature" as in "Its true..I'm only three and a half feet tall..."


If said demands aren't met by 15th August of this year...Flossy becomes a meal for the fat oriental couple next door!! So there!!! :P nyah!!

Raven

P.S. Include a picture from that 4th of July Pool Party!!


A Butter Patty from: Scared Guy
on Saturday, July 26, 1997 at 18:12:56 (PDT)

I'd do what he says. He seems truly deranged.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, July 26, 1997 at 22:28:45 (PDT)

Raven

What i can offer in return for flossie

1. 25 lbs of laced fudge

2. A pic of flossie at the pool party

3. A tee shirt that says " i'm with stupid"

Please return flossie safely!


A Butter Patty from: Jim Rockford
on Sunday, July 27, 1997 at 19:33:31 (PDT)

I am on the case! May as well surrender the goat now! Angel and I have garanteed the safe return of Flossie to Luna. Respond now and no charges will be filed.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 31, 1997 at 08:15:47 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I'm going to the paper shop for some fags. Anyone want anything?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, July 31, 1997 at 10:11:40 (PDT)
You should look at thisweb page.

It's now official. As of today, you are WAY too old for me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRFORRESTER!
The Candster *x*


A Butter Patty from: Fitziepooh
on Thursday, July 31, 1997 at 10:55:31 (PDT)

Hey everyone!!!!!! {{{{{{all you wonderful People}}}}}}}}]

Doc's birthday KEWL HB Doc, Oh and NISH umm get a couple extra Fags for Doc, I heard he's into that kinda stuff;) LOL j/k Make mine Menthol Lite, a REAL man's Cigerette:) Anyways............

Fitzie


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