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A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 04:08:19 (GMT)

Top Ten Amish Party Activities:

10. Drink molasses 'till you heave

9. Wet bonnet contest

8. Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy

7. Buttermilk kegger

6. Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really rad Clydesdale

5. Get tattoo: "Born to raise barns"

4. Cruise streets of Fort Lauderdale shouting insults at people with zippers

3. Sleep until 6 AM

2. Drive over to Mennonite country and kick some booty.

1. Churning butter nekkid


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 03:27:47 (GMT)

Oh yeah, baby. Churning is where it's at. :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 04:51:37 (GMT)

top three amish sex toys

3. corn

2. bag balm

1. the churn


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 20:04:11 (GMT)

This is going to be an interesting year....


A Butter Patty from: all_askew
on Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 21:23:55 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I have a pet badger named Rebecca Romaine-Lettace. She likes to type her brains out. She's a regular Billy Blanks as far as IRC is concerned. Anyway, my question to you guys is this:

If I break a buggy wheel on my way to an important barn raising, is it O.K. to use "loaner" tools from Sears to repair it? Is it okay to pay the lender of the tools back with sexual favours, if I promise only to use birth control from the 18th century?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 00:35:02 (GMT)

Let me try to answer your questions in order:

1. Yes, but be careful not to use the escalator at Sears.

2. Yes, and for this reason, proper Amish should always carry their buckskin prophylactic.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 01:39:35 (GMT)

after churning some butter nekkid I always like to hang my plain clothes on the line nekkid also, the wind blowing through my hair ( upper and lower) makes me feel like I might have refridgeration


A Butter Patty from: All Askew
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 03:15:38 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

You don't remember me, do you Doc?

I was there at the begining as Idiotboy....


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 03:29:03 (GMT)

'course I do, John. Otherwise I'd a deleted yer post. Maybe.


A Butter Patty from: All Askew
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 03:39:24 (GMT)

I'm glad everyone is still churning away. Maybe I should download a Mac IRC client and check in on the channel?


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 05:24:10 (GMT)

Suit yourself. BTW, did you know you can still post with yer pic? Click on the word "picture" below to find it.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 15:19:26 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

gosh. you kept my picture! (sniff) you're the best, doc!



A Butter Patty from: all_askew
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 15:42:19 (GMT)

I didn't do or post anything that pissed you off back in the day, did I Doc? You seem sort of frosty.


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 17:11:28 (GMT)

Nah. I'm always this way. ;)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 19:59:18 (GMT)

I beg to differ... ;)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 20:07:39 (GMT)

frosty like a schlitz tall boy


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 04, 2002 at 01:54:44 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

By far, the most frequently question I am asked by complete strangers is:
"How can I make cyanide?"
which is in reality:
"How fast can I get popeye-x thrown in prison for a long, long time?"
so my answer to you, and all the others is:
"Peace and Love is the answer"
and please tell your superiors:
"popeye-x is way too brilliant to fall for such an obvious undercover snitch ploy!"
Nobody wants to know how to make amphetamines or lysergic acid diethylmide anymore, its always these Internet surfers who wanna KILL somebody, so they ask popeye-x to help them do it.
Jesus Christ, people, don't you know horseshit when you read it?
I tell BIG WHOPPER LIES!
That's all my website is!
Pure, unadulterated BULLSHIT!
If you read it on my site, you know FOR SURE it was a big, fat LIE, ok?


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Friday, January 04, 2002 at 05:52:44 (GMT)

Oh crap, I've been surfing to every religion bulletin board on the entire web, posting the Popeye-x URL and telling everyone that the content there was truer than the Gospel itself. My bad!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 04:19:17 (GMT)

I believe "frost" is MY schtick. :)


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 06:21:37 (GMT)

This might be a nice evening to curl up with a good book.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 02:11:12 (GMT)

Now I know some people with clenched butts and they are not happy people.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 05:54:09 (GMT)

What a visual!


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 06:36:14 (GMT)

Good point, EJ. Here's an example.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 03:36:45 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I passed through Harmony, IA today on my way to Dubuque, and I saw Amish. I fuckin saw Amish. One old man shook his finger at me when I took his pic from the car goin down the highway. They didn't look like fighters, but they were a surly lot. I think that openly avowing the martial nature inherent in rake-weilding serves as a cathartic release for all that negative energy, and we benefit. All the better for us, I say. Send those Sunni Amish the anus method. I'd rather fight than switch.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 05:45:15 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

just posting some drivel and banal shit....


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 19:27:38 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I finally stuck the pics on a page for perusal. If you find this interesting, yer worse off than I am.

http://spreadeagleranch.com/iowa.htm



A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 21:24:59 (GMT)

I am disappointed. I wanted to see the picture of the old Amish guy shaking his finger at you. Which finger did he use, anyway?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 01:47:16 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I added the one buggy pic that turned out. The old man shook at me after the pic was taken. His pic turned out to be from like a quarter mile away dammit. I'll go back down soon and get chummy with em.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 01:56:37 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

So living in Utah is both can be both good and bad. Obviously, there are lots of close-minded folks who live in some of the more rural part of the state, or even Provo (pray for Sug and Mongo).

One of the *great* things about living here is having an international film festival in your backyard once a year. Last year, I binged and saw 17 films. I was supposed to write a paper about it for school, but I finished it about half way.

This year, the Sundance film festival is being a bit overshadowed by other events planned for February. I could bitch and moan about 4 years of freeway construction, or about the indirect relationship between parking availability and cost at the University where I work. In fact, there is nary a single parking spot left in the entire state of Utah! But I digress....I'm talking about movies instead.

I have purchased tickets for a movie on Sunday night that I am overly anxious to see. You can check out the website here:

http://www.fubar-themovie.com/

I predict this will be one of the more financially successful films of the festival (fuck whatever the critics have to say about it!)

I hear that other things to watch out for are Jennifer/Brad sightings, perhaps even Russell Crowe. I certainly wouldn't mind saying 'hi' to Christina Ricci and asking why she sold out to the man and pulled a Callista Flockhart. Frankly, I don't waste my time driving to Park City. It's half an hour at a 7% unhill grade. Once you get there, parking is still a problem. You see, the SLOC had promised parking spots as part of their "Official Olympic Bribe Package".

Movie watching in Salt Lake is much easier to deal with. The theaters in Salt Lake show the exact same movies, and the people there are usually locals. I could even walk from my house, if I weren't so goddamn lazy. Even if I had to go to Park City, I would probably skip it. I just can't stand the PIB's.

You see....when Hollywood descends upon Salt Lake, people seem to think they need to bring their black leather pants and jackets. Anyone who has lived in colder climates knows that leather has the insulting factor of linene, and is completely unfuntional for cold weather. Undeterred, moviemakers, watchers, and everyone else who goes to Sundance for god-knows-why, pull out the black. Park City natives have dubbed them the PIB's, or People in Black.

A Person in Black must also carry a cell phone and at least 1 liter bottle of water. Men usually carry those "it's-not-really-a-purse-purses", and women carry huge totes full of Sundance accessories (hats, sunglasses, sunblock, headshots...) These people rent their Mercedes Benz or Lexus SUV's and park them illegally all over Park City. While the people watching can be very exciting if you recognize anyone, I fail to recognize even the most famous of people. I've seen (so I was told) many famous people, but the only person I recognized without assistance was Jenni from Jennicam.

I'm excited to see this movie tomorrow, and I hope it is better than the movie I watched last night. "Love the Hard Way" sounds like it could be the name for a great porn, but really, it's just a far-fetched love story about a Columbia grad student who falls in love with a petty criminal. The acting is great, but the script was obviously edited much the way refrigerator poetry is.

If I happen to recognize any famous people, I will truly be shocked.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 02:44:49 (GMT)

Did Sli's address change yet???


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 07:22:02 (GMT)

Hopefully the film festival will play a better class of fair. But festival movies usually always suck! Festival hint: Any one wearing sunglasses at night with a green tint will be famous.


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 07:36:26 (GMT)

/me removes his B&L Wayfarers as not to be mistaken for Brad Pitt.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 14:01:26 (GMT)

Inquiring minds want to know where Sli is currently shacking up.


A Butter Patty from: NetDetective
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 14:04:26 (GMT)

[09:02] -NickServ- Info for Sli:
-
[09:02] -NickServ- Last seen address : 2sexy@1Cust217.tnt7.nashville.tn.da.uu.net
-
[09:02] -NickServ- Last seen time : Sun 01/13/2002 06:09:03 GMT


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 18:16:08 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

I thought she moved to the great NW last year sometime. I must have really misunderstood her. I coulda swore she told me that. I was thinkin you guys were livin together now.

I miss out on everything. I'm a tad bit self-absorbed. Sowwy.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 19:04:53 (GMT)

Change of address e-cards (FINALLY) go out the first of Feb. The SLi, 2 Kids and a Cat road show starts its voyage the last week of January.
Valium donations gladly taken...tho Im not sure who will need them more...me or Mariner.


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 02:52:03 (GMT)

It's Apple's hot new "wearable" computer, the iHat!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 18:54:50 (GMT)

You just wish you could make it look that cool. hahaha


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 00:17:01 (GMT)

Man, could I ivisit with that baby!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 08:24:15 (GMT)

UGH!!! veggie burgers!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 19:56:26 (GMT)

yeah yeah yeah...write a song about it, hammy...


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Friday, January 18, 2002 at 07:03:28 (GMT)

Sorry, but I have no choice other than to pass this on to all you English out there...

Hello There, You English:

You have just received the "Amish Virus." As we don't have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Amish Computer Engineering Dept.

God bless!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 18, 2002 at 07:18:10 (GMT)

Happy Belated Birthday Frac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 19, 2002 at 00:22:52 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.


Thanks Sli!

Anyone care to watch a funeral?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 13:50:08 (GMT)

That site creeped me out. I want an ivisit funeral.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 21, 2002 at 07:49:35 (GMT)

Can we arrange for a funeral ahead of time, have the person killed and watch it from any where? Now funeral cast.com makes this and other things to do with death fun and easy. Gosh isn't technology just swell.


A Butter Patty from: on Monday, January 21, 2002 at 08:18:08 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Now you too can learn the finer point of swearing


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 02:55:22 (GMT)

Not bad, but I find it a bit limiting. :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 at 02:30:28 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oh my god. Here's me, as of 2/1.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 at 03:22:30 (GMT)

Damn, skippy. Not again!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 23, 2002 at 19:13:12 (GMT)

FUCK!!! it sure is cold when you dont have heat. this is day three since my furance broke! just put one in about three years ago,$3500. they are trying to fuck us on the warranty, bastards. i might as well get a 55gal drum and start a trash fire out in the yard, i'de be just as warm if not warmer. BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 00:50:37 (GMT)

I finally had my furnace serviced last week for the first time, it is 13.5 years old and wouldn't heat the house to over 65. They cleaned the burner and some other parts. Works great now, but it cost me $437.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 21:19:03 (GMT)

Is it the weekend yet?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 25, 2002 at 00:57:02 (GMT)

$437 is cool. Mike Taylor, the guy who first produced the Butthole Surfers, just tried to rip me off for $478, so I know where you're coming from. I got a little heated up myself.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 27, 2002 at 06:32:53 (GMT)
You should look at thisweb page.

Wow...


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 28, 2002 at 20:39:08 (GMT)

Huh...


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 21:29:51 (GMT)

Yep...


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 03:08:56 (GMT)

A-heh...


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 06:58:34 (GMT)

*blink*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 04:34:34 (GMT)

*double blink*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 20:01:54 (GMT)

Wynkin, Blynkin, and Nod?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 21:57:16 (GMT)

aye carumba


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