As The World Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fighton the DALnet


Churn out a Post?

A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 00:06:22 (PST)

I'm the first in a new set of 000 years..... woohoo, I rule!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 01:34:17 (PST)

I found a Y2K bug!!!

Quick!! Some one squash it before it spreads!!

BTW, I saw this on the bottom of the Churn...

You are the 35,005th visitor to the Churn since Feb. 8, 1997. It's Saturday, January 1, 3900, 4:27 am.

All I have to say is...
LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!


A Butter Patty from: Mugtoe
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 10:49:04 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Happy Nude Queer everybody!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 14:58:29 (PST)

Yes, it turns out that nearly every time/date Javascript out there is now Y2K-incompatible with Internet Exploder. Netscape continues to work fine. I went digging, and found a time/date script that works fine on both browsers. All fixed!


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 16:19:29 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

New Year? What new year? I haven't seen "my" new year since Mugtoe made the Churn an extension of spreadeagleranch.com. I'm bored.

(Just teasing! Now don't anybody get upset or bent outta shape, I was just teasing Mugtoe AND Frac at the same time, kind of a bizarre "humor 3-way". Happy New Year.... there I've said it... even though I know for a scientific fact time is NOT cyclical, but my "jokes" still are.)


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 18:53:09 (PST)

Who the hell let Hempy put up the first post, dammit?


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 22:51:30 (PST)

No one let me, I was just here hanging out when the year started. I did have to beat off the onlookers with an old toad stool that was WAY to squishy to be holding, which I must say turned me on with no looking back. I then watched a movie about curling irons, and why they do not make good bottle openers (the argument was very strong). My philosophy is simple, if you can't beat them, they're of no use to me, so pass the crayons, and I'll be right with you. Dam, panty hose are expensive these days. Is anyone going to take the trash out? If not, I'll throw it under the sink. My bologna has a first name....it's Ron, and if you don't believe me, ask him.

Can I take your order?

Hempy


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 08:04:23 (PST)

Wtf have you been smokin, hemp?


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 14:04:48 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

The entire friggin universe is already an extension of the Ranch. You are all furniture in my house. If I close my eyes, you won't be able to see me. I'm wadin on thru the mess, so ya better get yer head right. I'm a killer, and I'm runnin loose. It's just me and my DMN posse cuttin a swath thru the idiots in our path. Daddy's gotta puter now, so the shit's really gonna get deep. I ain't a pimple on his ass. You thought I was bad. Geez.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 14:09:10 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Apparently my hatemsg poster has flown the coop and won't return. I'm kinda blue about it.

On the upside, my sap's risin and I'm flyin to WI on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna get some. GetupoffathatstuffGoodGod.

jump back...touchmysef

I've eaten so much goddamn tofu and tortellini today that I'm bout to burst. I'm swimmin in olive oil, and I gotta bad attitude. I just love me.

oxoxoxoxox


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 03, 2000 at 04:53:31 (PST)

Do I really have to go back to work?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 03, 2000 at 13:05:19 (PST)

luna go edumicate those youngins


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 03, 2000 at 15:08:43 (PST)

Ships Log, SS Tropicalshaggins
Stardate: OMFG starfleet aint Y2K compliant..
well I jus lifted my head outta the bedroom for the 1st time in 5 days... this millenium looks nasty.. I'm goin back
signing off, captain 10-107

PS that's my email for a while up there

Y2K Jelly... lets you insert 4 digits in your date....

Expect me to crawl all broken and twisted back online in a few days.. weeks.. would you believe???


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 03, 2000 at 18:19:04 (PST)

Happy belated new year to all..


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 10:47:22 (PST)

WTF is that bat headed boy with the guitar???


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 15:54:57 (PST)

OGGIE!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 16:38:57 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I still miss ED.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 20:09:35 (PST)

I miss Ed too, can't we trade ppx for Ed and a player to be named later??


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 02:38:51 (PST)

Thanks Pec, that's what I get for LETTING you be the first to post. Ask Doc, I could have beat you by several minutes, but I didn't, because I thought it was too "immature". Now, here you are saying this "trade" bullshit. Can I take it that you are starting up some shit with me? Very foolish move, even for a whippersnapper. You know what a whippersnapper is? Its a euphemism for "punk". You know what a punk is? Of course you do.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 04:58:28 (PST)

Boys, boys, boys.... I think it's time you stopped all this playground rivalry and kissed and made up.

lisa

Can we all watch when you do?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 06:50:31 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey, Henpeck, why don't you go to the appropriate location, my "anti-ppx fan club", and just get it off your chest? Of course, if you're too much of a coward to "step outside" and settle it, then why don't you stay in here, and hide behind these nice ladies while you run your mouth? I'll be waiting for you at the above URL if you ever work up the courage. And don't forget, Lisa and the gang are ALL invited over to witness the kissing and making up.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 09:52:56 (PST)

*sigh*
This could get ugly :(


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 13:03:59 (PST)

My name is Bennett and I am soooooooooooooo not in it
Sigh

Perhaps if we started this over...Hempy this is PPX hes weird yet sweet...
PPX this is Hempy...hes sick and twisted...yet incredibly cuddly

Now Im going to go get some cookies and milk for you two...please stop throwing sand in each others eyes...and or attempting to piss in each others face...


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 13:06:43 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

He knows where to meet me. Everything is going to remain mellow here, I gave my word.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 19:49:09 (PST)

FOR GODS sake!!!!! I have people left and right asking me to leave ppx alone, but he is constantly trying to provoke me after I made a semi-good-natured joke. I'm not going to make it a secret anymore.....I'd have Ed back in a heartbeat if all we had to give up is you.....but I still don't know you that well, and you never seem to talk to me when we are in the channel together. You are the one that said that you STILL missed Ed, and I was only responding to that post, hopefully with a little humor. As far as meeting you at your anti-ppx site, I won't, and it has nothing to do with being a coward. I can't earn your trust, or vice versa, if we are constantly bashing one another. So, please stop spouting off about me being a coward, or knowing where to meet you. I'm at the top of the witty food chain, baby, and it wouldn't be nice. So, truce.....FOR NOW, and hopefully we can get to know one another better before we start hating.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 06:27:11 (PST)

*sigh*

(evil smirk... *w*)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 08:49:04 (PST)

Alright, I'm going to make this simple. I tried (in my own acidic way) to reconcile with ppx, but all I get is bashing on HIS dam antippx site. I went there this morning because I was curious. THE STUPID SHIT STILL HAS THE BALLS TO CALL ME A COWARD AFTER HE RAN FROM THE ROOM LAST NIGHT WHEN HE SAW I WAS IN THERE. So, I guess the long and short of it is this: One of us goes. It may seem unfair for me to even ask this, but I'm not sticking around if he's staying. I'll volunteer to slip quietly into the night if no one tells me otherwise. I'm sorry everyone; I can't take this stupid shithead anymore.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 09:19:16 (PST)

ok, I cooled off now, after a shower. I realize that it is not fair for me to ask anyone to choose who stays and who goes, and I'm tne only one with the problem, so, I'm going to leave the rakefight. I'm going to miss a lot of you. I've made a lot of wonderful friends in that room over the years. Everyone feel free to email me at the address posted above. It's a pity that one person can come into a great channel and ruin it for a lot of people. This is two down, folks.....who is ppx going to kill next?

I'm sorry bologna sandwich,

Hempy


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 10:55:35 (PST)

This is utterly ridiculous. I don't understand the point of it at all. What the FUCK is going on?
lisa
*angry*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 12:03:30 (PST)

Okay, here's the deal. Popeye-X likes to bash people as a way of generating posts for his, and this, website. He does it in fun. It's generally not a problem. The person being flamed generally knows it's being done in fun, and fires back. The problem is when someone who is not involved takes it seriously, and instead of minding their own business, tells one of the parties involved to knock it off. This puts someone in a tough position, being torched on one side and told not to respond on the other. This is what Hempy is facing, so I don't blame him for being pissed.

Now, when it comes down to choosing who stays and who goes, it would be no contest. Any longtime bud like Hempy is going to be chosen over any new arrival. However, the idea of me having to pick who goes and who stays is fucking childish.

The whole Ed Zep matter is different from this one. Ed seemed to be looking for an excuse to leave. First it was that AOL had been banned from DAL. I offered Ed FREE NET ACCESS WITH LOCAL DIALUP, both before and after the AOL shit. He refused to respond. I'd bring it up in channel with him. He refused to respond, like I never even typed it. In fact, the way I recall, Ed rarely ever responded to anything anyone said in channel, as if he was just typing away with everyone else on ignore. He and Popeye got into it here in the Churn, and they were having a good time kicking the shit out of each other. Then Popeye said something that offended not Ed but Ed's wife, and that was Ed's excuse for leaving. So although I like Ed, I have little sympathy for the circumstances surrounding his departure.

Back to my real life. Here at work today, the identity of the enemy is rapidly being established. A mouthy jerk further up the company food chain is trying to take away my Mac. He stood here and ranted for five minutes, within earshot of 10 people, about why he needs my Mac (he has a nicer Mac than mine, with two monitors, and a new PC), and why I don't.

So to summarize, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS BULLSHIT. EVERYBODY GROW UP.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 12:42:46 (PST)

Anytime someone posts something against me somewhere, I copy it into my "anti-ppx" system for promotional value. If I take a "shine" to a post for artistic reasons, I build that further into a whole page unto itself on my website. Over in my world, these bizarre anti-ppx reactions are considered a badge of honor, its "funny".

All I did was transfer what Hempec said about me to my own site, then I said "Henpeck Is A Big Chicken", and I put a picture of a Texan with a big chicken. But I didn't link it to this site, did I?

We're just kiddin' around, right Hempec? All you have to do is post something that really cracks me up. Some of the funniest stuff in there is from people just like yourself, telling PPX off in their own words.

I'm not gonna tussle with anybody in the Churn or ARF, not when I've got my own setup expressly for that purpose, plus these ladies plain don't like it!

I'm sorry, Hempy, I guess I'm real touchy about the Ed thing. When you joked about it, it hurt my feelings pretty bad, I admit. Nobody regrets that more than I do, not even you.


A Butter Patty from: The Real KO
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 13:02:00 (PST)

As far as dressing me down goes, nobody but nobody gives deadly tongue lashings like Ed Zeppelin. When he's on a roll, its sheer genius, the fact that it was ridiculing me was an honor. I miss that crusty ol' som-bitch, bad! On top of that, he was giving me some master bass lessons that were unbelievably fun and productive. When he dropped off this list because of my big mouth, I was totally crushed.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 13:22:45 (PST)

SOMEBODY CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 14:33:36 (PST)

*sigh*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 17:44:16 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I'm takin off for the frozen north tomorrow in search of sexual misadventures and general hedonistic pleasure. WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sap is definitely risin.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 17:46:59 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I think it's cool that you guys get along so well. Makes me wanna check the churn before I even look at my friggin email. I ain't kiddin. I love this shit. And I love the cock pic, Kurt. :o)


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 18:38:22 (PST)

Alright, I thought long and hard all day today. I took a huge breath, and I decided that I was wrong to post what I did earlier today. My first post, I realized right away, but my second post took me longer to realize. See, I said goodbye to a group of people that I absolutely love, because one individual pissed me off. It won't happen again and I apologize.

Let's start with what I think rake fighting really is. To me, rake fighting is a group of intellectual elitists (myself included...let's be honest, couldn't most of us have made perfect quirky guest stars on Friends or Seinfeld) who come together to enjoy one another's company and trade GOOD-NATURED barbs. I love it, and I know most of you do as well.

The problem arises when one (or a small group) of individual(s) comes in and breaks the balance between malice and fun. This is what I feel right now. Instead of running, however, I'm staying. I'm staying so that there are no more sides in the rake fight. I chose the wrong side earlier, and I promise, it won't happen again. I've been here for like five years, and I hope to be here five more.

I do have one request, however. I will tolerate ppx in the channel, but I ask for the sake of peace, that he stops baiting me, stops posting anything with my name on it, stops sending me fucked up, threatening email, and stops posting anything about me here at the churn. I understand what he tries to do with this childishness, and I will have nothing more to do with it.

Once again, I apologize to all of you that I care so much for.

Hempy


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 19:17:37 (PST)

*sigh-x*


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 19:37:09 (PST)

Are we having fun yet?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 19:39:58 (PST)

I'm having fun now!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 21:30:26 (PST)

Hi, Luna. I've been a good boy. There's only been one major crisis since you left. I'm being on my good behavior, ask Hempy. I think I was giving Lisa a bad headache, but I've mended my ways, and everything should be mellow from here on out.

*sigh-x*

Good?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 07, 2000 at 10:16:12 (PST)

Hey everybody! Thought I'd drop a line from the Great White North, and as for the prior problem on the churn, I say "~Blame Canada!!" I'm posting from the world's coolest bookstore 'evahhh' called Chapters. it rawks.

mrs. julie


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 07, 2000 at 17:46:09 (PST)

YAY!! Party under the sink...Hempy's buyin


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 07, 2000 at 19:44:36 (PST)

Mrs, even. Congrats Julie : )


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 07, 2000 at 21:33:37 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

All I have to say is....

Billy, you suck, no forms in the churn, pfft!!

Check the link above



A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 07, 2000 at 21:37:14 (PST)

Scotty sweetie you rawk!!!!!!!!
That is soooo damn sweet!!!!!!!
I think Im gonna cry...has anyone seen my fuckin St John's Wort?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 07, 2000 at 22:37:07 (PST)

I have, but I thought it was a mole.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 08, 2000 at 00:31:13 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I'm feeling a little sad tonight; seems that one of my childhood heros has died... Don Martin, legendary cartoonist for Mad magazine. Mad, and his cartoons in particular, were major factors in me surviving my childhood. I'm just really bummed.

--IE


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 08, 2000 at 00:32:37 (PST)

Two more things... i seem to be spelling Quayle style... and Internet exploder isn't cutting off my post tonight. Or is it?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 10, 2000 at 09:52:42 (PST)

I just wanted a new post to look at.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 10, 2000 at 09:53:07 (PST)

I just wanted a new post to look at.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 10, 2000 at 17:10:47 (PST)

I just wanted a new post to look at.


A Butter Patty from: VinylJunkie
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 06:32:23 (PST)

Well I'm no longer a Churnvirgin but I am, however, 4 hours late for work. ROTFLMAO. K I shouldn't laugh. Very childish of me. I should be out there defendin yer freedom.

So I'm gonna crawl in my flightsuit and brush mah teefs and I'm gonna go out there and take on all them baddies. Just them and me and my KFC spork with tha mashed taters dried on. And if they're worth apponents, I might even give em a moist towellette to cleanse their spork bites. But washin them mashed taters off is in their hands.

Toodles!

Duncan


A Butter Patty from: VinylJunkie
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 07:07:05 (PST)

I mean opponents. Jeez lookin at my grammar ya'd think I dropped outta highskool and joined the Navy or sumthin...
errrrrrrr....
ughhhhhhh....
Don't love me cause I'm stupid.
Gunkan


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 11:25:08 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Today, after over 11 years of co-existence, my little sweetheart, Babycat, let my friend, Gypsy Doug, actually put his hand on her and pet her! This is a Babycat first! Who would have dreamed, back in 1988, over 11 years later, in the year 2000, this little scaredy cat would finally let Gypsy Doug TOUCH her? See above URL for a more recent promo.


A Butter Patty from: Sarah420
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 15:45:45 (PST)

this little churn thingie at the bottom of the page looks perverted lol. OOh Baby, YES!
*uNF* Ok I'm kinda tweeked lol, just shoot me :P


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 16:30:19 (PST)

My brethren,
I found this little tidbit in my mailbox the other day:

The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards have been released!

These awards are given each year to bestow upon(the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.

Ladies And Gentlemen... (drum roll... and envelope please)...We proudly present the 1999 "Natural Selection" awards:...

5th runner-up: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old> David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from a lift tower, said
Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the
ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pads removed.

4th Runner-up: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was
apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out
without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

3rd Runner-up: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

2nd Runner-up: "Man loses face at party". A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pick-up truck) popped a blasting cap into his
mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it", said Payne.
"It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." "He put it into his mouth and bit down. It blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off", Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson
at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that" Payne said.

1st Runner-up: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's
rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to
the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly.Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major
blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this". No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.

Now this year's winners: (The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between
them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine-foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr.Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below
him. (Possibly) figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, (did I mention that he is THE LATE) Mr. Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves
scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse (?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches. (The late) Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain
and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety (now he thinks of the "S" word) by tying the rope to the pick-up truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck
into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal
injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half-naked scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen, you win...


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 16:46:56 (PST)

hehe ok the churn this month is a trip... but I resolved one thing
check it daily
I just wasted all morning catching up on everything...
and in the words of beavis and butthead;
"If I wanted to read, I'd like, go to school or something"
anyways just lettin you guys know my email has changed
yes I am thinking of registering ISPMesomorph on DAL
my new one, through the wonders of modern technology (which I of course shun adamantly) is linked to my pic
thanks Doc you overly liberal ordnung elder you :)



A Butter Patty from: Tyrebyter
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 17:03:52 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Heyas!
Been a while, so I thought I'd peek in the churn for some butter and bastings...

Just a quick comment on Maidenice's 99 darwin post, most of those are legendary fakes, but still damn funny. As mentioned at www.darwinawards.com (the metallica story originally appeared in '97).

Well, it seems the Boring company no longer needs me to build their swell airplanes, so I will soon be able to log on during normal hours and waste heaps of time staring at my monitor....that's right..Tyre's going prime time! muahahahaha!


A Butter Patty from: VinylJunkie
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 18:10:01 (PST)

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, downloading MP3s like they were goin outta style when I remembered a phone call I had to make to this cute girl who I met at the club underneath my ShagPad. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I was a lil surprised but politely said, "This is Duncan and could I please speak to Robin?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I thought she must have just been playing with my head and has a boyfriend. But I did remember her last name so I looked it up. Sure enough her number was in the book but it was different from the one she had given me. The last 2 digits of the number she gave me were transposed. She was pretty drunk that night so I thought, "Alright I'll call." So I called her and melted her heart like a patty of butter with my smooth sexy voice (yeah sure right). After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day saving dumb Mainers from the icy grasp of the Atlantic, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!"

It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the lousy Maine phone company finally introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.

Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello."I made up a name. "Hi. This is Joe (bogus name) with the sales office of Bell Atlantic and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 443-4863.

[Keep reading hombres and hombrets, it gets better.]

The old lady at the Maine mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the
slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world.
I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 443-4863 and yelling, "You're jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 18 West Bath street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front.
"I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.

For awhile things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.

A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
"18 West Bath Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2.

He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I interupted
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 18 West Bath Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.

Another quick call to Channel 13 Fox News in Portland about the gang war going on down West Bath Street.

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to Bath Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious!

Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of all Brunswick's Finest and a news helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

So just remember, if ya get mad, take it out on someone you already hate. =)

Toodles

Gunkan

(area code withheld to protect the jackass)
(look in a phone book for Maine's)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 at 19:32:36 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey gang,

Check out this movie of a guy getting hit by TWO cars that Rob (RpmQ) sent me!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 04:23:25 (PST)

Goodmorning:) Umm I'm on medication so like that's all I could think of to say:) so like back to sleep I go:)

fitzie


A Butter Patty from: VinylJunkie
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 06:05:15 (PST)

Well its only 9:00 here and I've already had to pull two jackasses out of the ocean. A delightful incident involving a boat that floats, and A BIG FUGGIN ROCK pokin way above the waves that doesn't. Like a moth to flame, the Mainers felt determined to hit it, sink their boat and float around in the Atlantic in the middle of winter. Hello collect call to the jackasses please. Climb the big friggen rock and start to get dry.

Most people are just getting to work and I still haven't had my tea. Those of you on the west coaast are still asleep or just waking up and I still haven't had my "Number 4 with cheese, Supersized with NO drink!" I bring my own tea to work cause McDonalds tea sucks. They always forget the cheese. Its just like a regular sausage egg biscuit but with cheese, you Jackass. For some reason Grill Boy can't comphrehend this concept.

"Oh I'm sorry for the wait sir." HA! "Oh I'm sorry for the confusion here sir."

Sorry my ass! I know you friggen do it on purpose! Cause I know, that you know, that it really frosts my peepee. How about an extra hashbrown for my damn troubles. Yeah I didn't think so either.

So here I sit, still wet, malnourished, underpaid, unappreciated, and undernookied. I ain't got food, I ain't got nookie, and I ain't got my tea cus the duty pager pulled me outta bed earlier than it should have. (for those of you saw me when I left last night, that makes it about 1.5 hours of sleep) One of these days I'm gonna drop a dumb Mainer back in right when he thinks his dumb jack-ass is safe. Neither of the bastards even said thanks. Hey....Dickhead, I just risked my life to save whats left of yours and you can't even say thanks? Needless to say, I've found 2 new numbers to add to my speed dial.

Tea, food, noookie. In that order. Who's buyin?

Forgive me for ranting. Bad day for me so far. I sincerely hope yours is better than mine. =) The duty pager is beeping again so I'm gonna go. Take care. Hugs, kisses and all that jazz.

Toodles

Gunkan


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 09:52:32 (PST)

Rob??????? Where the hell has he been????


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 13:01:46 (PST)

Ugh,
It is my duty to inform you that the movie I linked to in my previous post turned out to be nothing more than an excerpt from the movie "Meet Joe Black". The person getting run over is a digitally-enhanced Brad Pitt. A co-worker informed me of this when viewing the movie this morning.

Damn you, Rob!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 15:57:29 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Not a real death? I feel so abused...


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 20:47:53 (PST)

i have 2 things to say:

1. WTG Robber! (I wonder if rob digitally enhances anything esle he puts on the web....)

2. Double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream!


A Butter Patty from: disco
on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 at 20:48:52 (PST)

okay, i have a third thing to say


Dyslexics of the world, untie!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 13, 2000 at 03:38:18 (PST)

Can someone direct me to the sink?


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 13, 2000 at 08:43:34 (PST)

I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Luna


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 13, 2000 at 20:48:19 (PST)

Miss luna is welcome to join me at the sink anytime!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 14, 2000 at 09:54:55 (PST)

Make sure he cleans it first, Luna. I heard about the Pea Soup incident...


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 14, 2000 at 11:11:28 (PST)

Bleah.
Here comes the story of "Hurricane" Carter. If you follow the reviews of the new movie "Hurricane", you will read that he was "wrongfully imprisoned" for a double murder. The movie, not unlike Bob Dylan's song from 1976, makes him out to be a great hero. The finale of the movie, of course, is the courtroom scene in which he is finally freed. That's where the movie ends.
Here's the part you're missing: After being freed thanks to a group of Canadians investigating the crime and the public outcry inspired by Dylan's dorky song, Hurricane had quite a large defense fund. He tried to convince the director of the fund to just hand over all the money to him, but it just doesn't work that way. She wouldn't. So Hurricane, our poor, wrongly incarcerated hero, played by the charming Denzel Washington in the movie, beat the living shit out of her.
Still think he didn't commit those murders?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 14, 2000 at 12:15:15 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey, did he ever get the money? That fucker still owes me for a big heroin deal back in the 70's. Me & my boys are looking for him.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 14, 2000 at 15:31:59 (PST)

Were charges ever filed against him for battery?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 14, 2000 at 15:45:09 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

No, of course not, he's famous. The law doesn't apply to him. Its like OJ. I thought everyone knew that.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 14, 2000 at 16:13:48 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I know he was charged. Don't know what happened after that.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 15, 2000 at 10:08:07 (PST)

*sigh* remind me again why it's a GOOD idea to upgrade your operating system....
grrrrr


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 15, 2000 at 13:26:07 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Well, it turns out I'm not the only one who thinks the movie"Hurricane" is a sham. Here's an article by aNewark, N.J. columnist who debunks everything in the movie, and evenmentions the story about the defense-fund administrator chick, who got beatup in a Maryland hotel room.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 15, 2000 at 15:12:15 (PST)

I guess I have finally arrived...I have my own personalized posting wallpaper on the Anti PPX Fan Club!
Hey Kurt..any idea who that gorgeous guy with the pencils sticking out of his nose is?
Hes hot...and BTW...Hes NOT Gnorm...
LOL


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 15, 2000 at 15:32:19 (PST)

I am back. I got tan even though I wore 35 and 45 sun block the whole time I was having fun in the nice warm islands. Reality sucks big time can I go on vacation again? Richard did manage to meet up with some nice jelly fish and still can show you all the marks if you ask nice. I learned to tell the old man in a yank to get off the catermeran (he was on the wrong boat) to get the fuck out of the way . Because he was in such a yank to get off the boat I did some feats while hitting the deck that made me very popular.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 15, 2000 at 20:37:40 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Finally, a site that meets the needs of my goat obsession :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 16, 2000 at 11:24:42 (PST)

6 more days until my wedding!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 16, 2000 at 14:35:18 (PST)

Mrs. DQ read back and caught up...major congrats for a very long and happy life together! This includes much sex until the sun set years.

Happily ever after you two!!!!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 16, 2000 at 19:14:43 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Fraccy, isn't it "our" wedding? Or has Oggie chickened out and decided to let you go it alone? You'd think a former DeMolay member would be used to performing silly rituals in front of a shitload of people.

Either way, best of luck to yez.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 17, 2000 at 06:39:11 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

This is a little something I saw at alphalove.com

Police to Drive Unmarked Buggies

In an effort to protect Amish resident of western Pennsylvania local police have created a buggy patrol. The patrol was prompted by a recent rash of assaults involving the Amish. Several buggies have been slashed and burned in the past couple of weeks. The Amish is a religous sect that forbids the use of electicity and modern conveniences. This leaves them ill-prepared for crime because they have no phones to contact police nor cars to give chase. Police will be driving buggies and also riding in the back seats with the Amish. If the buggy is attacked the police officer will call ahead to other officers hidden further up the road.

These must not be rakefightin Amish.



A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 17, 2000 at 10:05:27 (PST)

If they were they'd know the rake is a perfect weapon...light, easy to handle, excellent use as a deflector. I think we should all testify at the next Sunday meeting.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 17, 2000 at 16:50:05 (PST)

PRAY FOR SNOW!


A Butter Patty from: Little George
on Monday, January 17,2000 at 17:34:54 (PST)



A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 17, 2000 at 18:26:17 (PST)

yes it's painfully obvious that these amish need some serious rake training
or perhaps some more liberal rules governing the use of space age polymer technology in rake construction
it's is a sad sad day when amish must confront the hordes armed only with wooden rakes
surely god intended the space program to further the cause of rake warfare


A Butter Patty from: >
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 06:09:25 (PST)

Ya think them bad guys will catch on they start seeing Amish buggies in the Dunkin Donuts Drive thru?

VJ


A Butter Patty from: VJ
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 06:11:47 (PST)

Ooops looks like I should have read the instructions on the name field first huh?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 08:10:31 (PST)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEeeee!
SNOW DAY!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 08:21:52 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Here's a link to some reading material, if you happen to be looking for something to read. Of course, you may be facing a huge backlog of reading material, with unread books and magazines starting to pile up on the floor, or take up all your extra counter space. In that case, you should either catch up on the reading you already have, or you should just accept the fact that you will NEVER catch up, and just go take a leisurely walk.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 10:06:22 (PST)

ooooo that's a good one, Pale. I'm gonna print it out and use it for wallpaper in the privy behind the barn.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 13:16:02 (PST)

Man all that praying paid off! no school again tomorrow! ok now pray for me a million dollars :)


A Butter Patty from: VinylJunkie
on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 15:14:38 (PST)

*squints his eyes and prays real hard*


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 at 06:30:04 (PST)


Santa belatedly succumbs to Y2k anxiety...


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 at 13:07:43 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

*hooks up incantation generator to main console at the church of machines, types in the name, "Luna", and the keywords, "snow" and "million dollars", selects output, checks maximum bandwidth and continuous prayer, hits Enter*

piece of cake (or is it fudge?)


A Butter Patty from: VinylJunkie
on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 at 19:54:44 (PST)

Well guys I'm heading for Florida tomorrow and prolly won't be online again for a while. I guess this is goodbye for now at least. Hope I can come back soon...but if not....you guys take care and I'll be sure to come back when I return to Maine in June. Miss Me!! =)

Duncan


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 at 21:27:17 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey gang, click the above link to find out why ol' Pale loves being a show-biz whore!


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 20, 2000 at 16:02:03 (PST)

Dog discovered snow for the first time in his short life and I rediscovered I like having 4-wheel drive and do not have to shovel!!!!! Now if I could only write my name in the snow that would be a useful skill. (Thats what Richard told me)


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 21, 2000 at 22:56:40 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Nothing of importance to say...

Just wanted to look all pristine and regal with the new pic... Thanx Doc.





A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 21, 2000 at 23:01:39 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

It's awful damn hard to be this incompitent.




A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 22, 2000 at 09:53:02 (PST)

Dangit LUNA!!

You prayed to hard for snow!! Now we've got a shit load here!! Well, at least it wasn't my weekend off, to bad I still have to handle service calls by saying, "Sorry, I'm snowed in." 8)



A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 22, 2000 at 13:12:38 (PST)

Incompetent, maybe. But at least you think you look good. ;)


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 22, 2000 at 22:58:44 (PST)

Congratulations

Mr. and Mrs. Oggiemon




A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 22, 2000 at 23:01:57 (PST)

Congratulations


Mr. and Mrs. Oggiemon


And, um, I mean to post that that way before... 8)



A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 23, 2000 at 09:37:25 (PST)

Thanks Scotty****

/me beams with pride.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 23, 2000 at 18:28:44 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

On the occasion of the wedding of Fraccy and Oggie, I feel compelled to express why it's so special to me. I was there just minutes after they met IRL for the first time. It was great. They were standing at the baggage counter, and SLi and I snuk up behind them and started talking shit behind their backs until Fraccy finally turned around. It was hilarious. Oggie was jonesing for a smoke after an 8 hour flight and it took a fucking hour for his one bag to get to the carousel. When we finally got out of the airport, I gave driving directions to Frac and got us lost trying to get to the hotel. But I guess everything turned out okay.

Good luck, kids!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 23, 2000 at 21:40:11 (PST)

Im amazed at the restraint Doc showed by not mentioning the whole "Oggie threw her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes" thing...
Congrats you two!
Smooches


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 24, 2000 at 14:03:59 (PST)

Gang,

The GFY page has suddenly become inexplicably popular, and may cause this entire site to be shut down at some point or another. I am working on the problem, sorry for the inconvenience.


A Butter Patty from: me
on Monday, January 24, 2000 at 14:28:46 (PST)

and popular is bad? :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, January 24, 2000 at 15:06:01 (PST)

OK who left the freezer door open?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 11:33:38 (PST)

hey doc I went to that site last night the gfy or what ever. but I had to wait so I decicded to read some of the stupid stories. did those really happen to you? I was lmao so much I could hardly sit...by the way i did get in the gfy site ....I think i will have to use it for a few ppl...


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 14:52:20 (PST)

Damnit, if I don't say it, I'm gonna pop...

Well doggies



Oh yeah, much better.



A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 16:01:13 (PST)

Not to be overly picky...but I believe the correct quote is

WHOOOO DOGGIES


then again I dont make a habit of watching the Beverly Hillbillies, maybe its a southern thing.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 19:44:49 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I always thought it was "wheeee doggies", as opposed to "whoooo doggies". I went to the (censored so MaidenIce's headache would subside) website, we'll call it "www.headache.com", anyhow, I went there and there WAS a guy there named Jed Clampitt, and he DID post. And, I noticed he spelled it "wheeee", not "whoooo". You'd probably say it doesn't really matter, but it does. Ya see, there's good news, and there's bad news. The good news is, I personally don't give a fuck, one way or the other. I have more important things to worry about. The bad news is, I have this friend, I won't mention any names, and he's a really good, good friend... but he's absolutely fanatical about correct spelling! He even appointed himself a Special Texas Ranger to work undercover, to entrap innocent by-spellers like me, who have had exposure to "decent" education, but alas, were too stubborn to pay attention to ANY of it, and therefore can't read, write, spell, think, talk, gesture with hands wildly, or even make a rational post on a wacky bulletin board somewhere in Cyber-Siberia.

Therefore, (and there is always a 'therefore' in these situations), as a freelance editor, (who types his own e-mails), I feel very strongly about changing all the "whoooo doggies" to "wheeee doggies", but maybe I'm being too picky?

You know that cop show, Hunter? You know how he says, "Works for me!"? Well, I don't like to see that spelled, "Werks fer mi!", either, so its not the accuracy of the Beverly Hillbillies that concerns me, it the welfare of the entire American Entertainment Military/Industrial Complex that's at stake. Its worse than worrying about Y2K! I'd hate to see the United States I love go down the tubes over an unresolved typo, ya know? And it all starts on a grass roots level, with one word, in one sentence... and that's why spelling "wheeee doggies", the correct California screenwriter way, is so damn important to me. I wouldn't nit-pick this point if my country wasn't in emminent danger from unecessary chaos. I, for one, will diligently monitor my own website, and I can give you my personal guarantee: If you find "wheeee doggies" mispelled on my site, you'll KNOW it was an oversight, probably out of laziness more than anything else, so keep it in mind!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 21:10:04 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Sorry to burst your snot-bubble, kids, but what you were hearing on The Beverly Hillbillies was Buddy Ebsen's pronunciation of the phrase "WILD DOGGIES". I forget where I read that. Listen closely next time you are watching that show. In Texas, I think it comes on right after Hee Haw.

The source of all the excessive traffic we've been having turns out to be link-o-rama.com, an adult site consisting of, uh, links to other adult sites. I think we were their "Useless Site of the Day" for yesterday. Deal is, our Home Page normally gets about 150 hits a day, and about 100 people actually stick around for all our pictures to load. Yesterday, it received 805 hits, and 529 people stuck around until all the pictures loaded, though I'm sure they probably wondered why they did. We are still getting a shitload of traffic, so there will be outages from time to time. Remember you can almost always get here by waiting until the top of the hour.

Doc


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 23:08:27 (PST)

AHHHHHHH LUNA!!!!!!!! About the snow thing do you think you can turn it off now? 18 inches is a bit of over kill, the goats can not find any grass to munch on. It's cruel, really it is.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 at 23:11:33 (PST)

what ever it is whooooooo doggies.....wheeeee doggies......wild doggies.....redneck hillbillies like the Clampits can't even spell anyway ......I needs some educations..


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 at 08:53:33 (PST)

OH NO ALICE!
GOATS IN TROUBLE!
/me looks frantically for the off button!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 at 14:42:32 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Ahh, we seem to have the Great Hillbillies Debate going on (referred to as GHD for the rest of the post.)

I have read everyones opinions and observations of the GHD. But where to start?It all starts with "Come'n listen to my story." With these words, a great legacy was born. Founded, not on a small town country bumkin, but on a FAMILY of former residents of, what we "city folk" call, BFE. A place, long since talked of, but few willing travelers have ever found. I have searched for, and found said place. To clear up all confusion and misconceptions, as well as continuing this thread, I give you, DOCUMENTED proof, to the GHD.
The Official Buddy Ebsen Web Site

Thank you.


Oh and, Welll Doggies





A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 at 21:45:28 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

"Werks fer mi!"


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, January 27, 2000 at 13:11:26 (PST)

No school again tomorrow. We will be going to school till JULY!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, January 28, 2000 at 06:26:32 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Take a look at this link. I started to worry about myself when I was spending too much time "talking" to luna's goat friends. But now,I fear the insanity has gotten worse. This site has 9 different rooms you can look into. I have been watching this girl "Lisa" sleep for over an hour now, while I fold my laundry. I am sure she will roll over, any minute now, and entertain me even further. Is this sick? Is this wrong? Should I go back to the goats?
Ooohhh she is moving......


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, January 29, 2000 at 00:48:11 (PST)

whoa voyuerism :)~~~
caught her nekkid yet Fraccy?


A Butter Patty from: Fred Fred
on Saturday, January 29, 2000 at 18:58:00 (PST)

My sister turned me on to this Luddite paradise - but not ANY other way! Keep up the good work.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 30, 2000 at 16:14:20 (PST)

LUNA!!!!!!! The goats have a covering of ice on them..... Turn off the snow works, a guy had to dig him self out of the drive yesterday. Did we help..of course not we have 4-wheel drive and just went around him.

Bet you don't have school tomorrow. Now you can stay up late and cause all sorts of trouble.


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, January 30, 2000 at 19:42:16 (PST)

That is the idea, Alice :)

GET THIS:

There is a scholarship for kids who live in manufactured or mobile homes.
ONLY IN KENTUCKY!


A Butter Patty from:
onMonday, January 31, 2000 at 23:02:39 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Luna's the gal who turned me onto Jesco, and here you can actually buy the video AND a tshirt. I'm so there. (man, if the trailer hadn't burned down, jesco could've gone to college!)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 at 18:21:03 (PST)

*fractious* looks around for Doc..


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 at 10:26:04 (PST)

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - Sweden's 1970s chart-topping pop group ABBA has turned down an offer worth $1 billion to get together again after 17 years.
``It is a hell of a lot of money to say no to, but we decided it wasn't for us,'' Benny Andersson, one member of the Swedish quartet, told the Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet on Wednesday

Ive said it before and Ill say it again....
No More Fuckin ABBA.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 at 12:10:24 (PST)

I've said it before. I'm really starting to dislike Florida. Correction. I'm really starting to dislike Jacksonville. Why just the other night, I saw a carjacking. Though it was very unviolent, it still kinda freaked me out. Get this.

A guy is sitting in his BMW at a stoplight minding his own business around 8PM. (mistake number one) An OLD puke green Oldsmobile rolls up and hits him from behind at about 5mph. The bloke in the BMW gets out. (mistake number two) The guy in the Olds gets out, turns around, and runs away from the accident scene down the middle of the street against oncoming traffic. The BMW dude, now in hot pursuit, runs after him. (mistake number 3) Two men step off the curb right next to the accident scene. One gets in the Olds, the other gets in the BMW. The light turns green. Both cars drive away. I laugh hysterically. The BMW owner comes back. He looks for his 7 series beamer but there is no 7 series beamer to be seen. I wish I could have taken a picture of the look on that guy's face. Rage, disbelief, confusion, and HUH? all rolled into one neat facial expression. I felt so sorry for the poor bastard.

Funny thing though. The dood who drove the BMW away from the scene, was broadsided by a Dodge Ram a block down the road while running a red light in his attempt to get away a little faster than he should have. The beamer owner saw the commotion and ran down the street. Once I got to the next light, I was delighted to see the BMW owner forget the injustice done to him, and help the escape out of the car. I guess the BMW owner remembered the injustice done to him real quick because he proceeded to kick the living shit out of the poor bastard. The Dodge Ram drier (a very LARGE black gentleman) pulled the two apart, but not before the BMW owner had beat the escape driver head against the ground a few times....

Cops showed up 5 minutes later. BMW owner was cuffed and put in the back of a cruiser. BMW escape driver was put on a back board with a shock collar and ambulanced away with great haste.

Don't ya just love stupid people?


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