Dec. '99
As The World Churns
The official BBS of Amish Rake Fighton the DALnet


Churn out a Post?

A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 06:04:48 (PST)

24 Shoplifting days left till Xmas:) Now back to your regular scheduled programs

Fitziepooh


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 06:06:37 (PST)

Damn I couldn't even get my Picture right, it's the Damn PUMPING churn that's throwing me off;) Damn I'm horny again........

Fitzie


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 03, 1999 at 16:19:58 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

SLi:

Well, I think the ideal PPX groupie showed up at the Anti-PPX list, her name is SHAWN. She seems like just the kind of girl I've been keeping my eye peeled for... a 12 year old blind chick, (13 in February), with a family history of incest and abuse. It seems she actually went blind while looking at the UGLY TALK page. I'm sure glad she got that braille keyboard, all the "hippy horn-dogs" on the list are all hot and bothered by little SHAWN, [right, Ed?]. Go check her out! Don't tell Doc, he's been trying to horn in on my action lately, I'm thinking about emailing in those toilet-cam .avi's I made in Toronto, just to shut him up.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 03, 1999 at 18:29:43 (PST)

Up yours! How you could make fun of that BOY (they never say which gender they are, but I thought "Shawn" was a mis-spelling of a male name) you amazingly insolent porcelain-humper? There was nothing about incest or abuse, either. Shit, were we even reading the same thing?

You are one weird bastard. Here's what's happening; Turkie Nazi threw a hissy fit and "left" the list, only to return as a male named Noone17. In an incredibly stupid move, they showed themselves to be her/he/it with a string of blunders like Tim Conway on biker-crank.

When challenged to name the search engine their "children" had used for a search on Michael Bolton, (!) that had produced Popeye-X's horribly offensive website, she/he/it took about two days to come up with "Google.com" where, indeed, PPX's website was #360. No other search engine or metasearch produced Popeye-X's page about Michael Bolton, just one page out of like a hundred that this hag/fuckhead/thing had been ranting about for (so far) over 1,000 posts. Any "normal" person would have emailed the page's owner, said "fuck you" or "you suck" and left it at that.

Not this crazy bitch. She claims to have started a police investigation of PPX, claims to have a degree in Journalism, yada yada yada. It just goes on and on, and gets funnier and funnier. Finally some genius produced the post mentioned by Popeye-X, and it is one funny bastard. I really laughed until I cried. Maybe parts of it won't make any sense, if you haven't been following this delusional do-gooder finger-pointer, but as I told the person who wrote the Shawn letter; "...you are a genius. I take my hat off to you. Hell, I take my pants off to you."

Hope that clears stuff up a little. That's all we need, Popeye-X in here bellowing about incest and 12-year-old girls. Jeez, it's hard to defend the sick fuck when his brain does shit like that, and it doesn't have a hell of a lot to do with Amish, does it? How many websites does he need, anyway?

Ed


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 03, 1999 at 22:08:02 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Ed's full of shit. Its not Turkie Nazi, its Tacki Fishkebob. If SHAWN is a guy, fine, I'll fuck him just the same! (Like it makes any difference to me! Ottis Tool said it best, "A woman's asshole is pretty much the same as a man's.") The important part is, SHAWN is BLIND, therefore my "appearance" won't be such a "warning" factor. I'm tired of my sex partners running away in terror when they finally get the duct tape off their eyes. Don't let that pervert Ed Zeppelin hose anybody about whether he's pounding pud his in the background or not, my CYBER CELERY software has already taped him thru an Outbox cyber-cam, and the .avi has already been emailed to the FBI from my field informant's mailing list.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 06, 1999 at 02:43:24 (PST)

I'd like to beg to differ with Ottis' stance on the uniformality of assholes in regards to gender.
I simple scientific experiment of walking into a male public shitter then walking into a female establishment will provide an instant aromatic clue as to a few at least minor differences.
If you are still unconvinced then merely conjure yourself a picture of a grown male in hotpants.
I rest my case.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 06, 1999 at 10:35:14 (PST)

Ed is a true perv...just another reason we love him... On to other business
Folks, its that Holiday time of the year...and I need some addresses for you guys... at current I need:
AdmAckbar, Niteraven, Sharky, Johno, Hempy, Disco, and Tyrebyter...the rest of you...well I know where you live, so be forewarned.
Smooches
SLiness


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 06, 1999 at 15:51:42 (PST)

I apologize from the bottom of my heart if my posts have offended anyone. Everything I was saying about Ed was complete bullshit. Nothing could be further from the real truth. He warned me to be careful, but I opened my big mouth. I was only teasing. I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me.


Sincerely, Kurt Otto


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 06, 1999 at 20:23:23 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Before the day is out, I had to post this from my mIRC aliases file...
Get used to it folks, it's gonna be around for a whole year...

/age /say I'm 52
/age2 /say doh! am dislexic, actually i'm 25
/age3 /say damnit, this isn't funny anymore




A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 06, 1999 at 20:31:30 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Oh, I almost forgot... Per my usual lateness...

We forgot someone's Birthday, as of yesterday.... (again)

My deepest apologies to Miss Sugar (once again) for being a day late with her song and dance number. This one's for you.

~~Happy Birth Day to.... You......
~~Happy Birth Day to.... You......
~~Happy Birth Day you Day older than me Indain Chic.....
~~Happy Birth Day to.... You......





A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 06, 1999 at 20:39:44 (PST)

Happy birthday sugar and scott :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 21:04:21 (PST)

Last time I looked guys assholes were a lot hairier in genral the a gals..you get your dick caught up in all that hair.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 05:10:29 (PST)

Well, believe it or not, we finally got our wedding invitations printed. Better late than never. I have lost my address book, so those of you who wanted to come need to email me with your address, and I'll get one out to you right away.
*fractious puts on her dancing shoes...*



A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 14:50:37 (PST)

NICE CLOGS THERE FRAC!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 22:52:43 (PST)

Luna is that you?????


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 13, 1999 at 09:24:49 (PST)

/me checks

yep, its me :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 13, 1999 at 10:33:39 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Well, it looks like I single handedly managed to royally fuck up Ed Zepellin's fun. Sorry, Ed, I hope someday we can resume our twisted repartee, I enjoyed it, and I'm very bummed to have played any part in ending it, even if unknowingly. Anybody else need your good times brought to a screeching halt? Just talk to me. That's all it takes. My posts are toxic, they contain the molecules of disintegration, waiting only to combine with the right DNA to release hidden potentials of nuclear fusion lurking between the lines of seemingly harmless pitter-patter. Translation: I BLOW SHIT UP!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 13, 1999 at 21:22:32 (PST)

Next week Christmas cookies...... can we put frosting all over us and lick it off for extra credit?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 13, 1999 at 21:24:34 (PST)

There goes Popeye braggin again...
Buck up lil camper...we still love you...well some of us do anyway


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 at 20:37:18 (PST)

TOP 10 WAYS YOU KNOW YOUR JOB IS CHRISTIANIZING YOU:

10. You serve communion wafers and cheese at your next party

9. You trade in your car for one with a sporty fish on the back

8. You use Bible quotes as your definative way to win arguments

7. You have the urge to go to Mariners games and hold up a John 3:16 sign

6. You find your self humming those catchy hymns

5. You start blessing every glass of wine you drink

OK folks you gots to help me out with the rest.....


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 09:26:11 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Thanks, SLi, but I was bragging, not bemoaning. Glad that somebody out there doesn't HATE me, like those punks at the URL I've listed above.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 10:12:38 (PST)

4. You wear your iChristian t-shirt while video conferencing with your girlfriend.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 20:29:33 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

3. When you spend the weekend At Chat Trash World Headquarters, with the Rev. Jones-X, spiritual healer, HTML shaman, and prayer gonocologist for "Chat Stars Of IRC", the new online tabloid exploring the inner reaches of "In-Body Cavity Searching", the new online infommercial delving into the in's-n-out's of "Horizontal Dancing", the wild-n-wooly how-to seminar found at the URL from above.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 05:36:37 (PST)

forgive me father for I have sinned,
It's been months since my last posting...
hehe well I jus want to tell a story..
I have a IRC freind who wouldn't harm a fly.. awesome chick
this guy gets a thing for her
she has a bf already, dont wanna meet him
the guy goes on a psychopathic rampage.. stalks her online all the usual crap..
then he goes one step further
he calls welfare and tells them that she smokes pot in front of her kids (untrue)
now she is under investigation by welfare.. has to submit to drug testing periodically or she'll lose her kids
random visits... the whole circus
to top it off he rings the canadian border.. she cant' go home with her bf to see his parents now
NICK: froggy_in_the_pond
NAME: john stafford
ADDRESS: 7746 kyle way littleton CO 80125-8923
PH: (303)979-4183
any harm that can be done to this man (I use the term loosely) could be done in the sound knowledge that you are improving the world for the rest of us decent folk
sorry about the politics
on with the show....


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 07:00:55 (PST)

Yet another reminder that people are carbon based lifeforms.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 08:30:53 (PST)

Sounds like the nitrogen cycle to me.


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 09:23:50 (PST)

2. You refer to capalert.com everytime you want to go see a flick with the fam.

1. Your favorite site on the web is that catchy Landoverbaptist.org!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 16:05:00 (PST)

Is it just me or is there something in the water in Littleton, CO ?

You know I was looking up the fun movie "giant jugs" on capalert and you know it was not there...hmmmmm


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 17:32:43 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I just went to #Amish_Rake_Fight....
Nobody home!
I'm looking to meet up with some punk named Jiffylube who's been dissin' me....
Anybody seen him?


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 19:36:33 (PST)

Whoa! Mayte!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 17, 1999 at 22:55:04 (PST)

Just wanted to post to show everybody my
winter makeover, courtesy of Dr. Forrester's
Amish Platic Surgery clinic.
---PaleFire
.


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 07:33:17 (PST)

It just begs the question....Does Joyce let you wear that hat to bed???


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 12:58:07 (PST)

Carol of theBells:56912k3:143129k2:112107k
Hi Gang,
I grabbed these three songs from the South Park Mr. Hankey Christmas Special. Merry Xmas, and have at 'em.
SongArtistTimeFile Size
Mr. Mackey
Christmas Timein HellHitler/Satan
Merry FuckingChristmasMr. Garrison

These areall mono. If you want the uncensored stereo versions, you'll have to buythe CD.



A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 20, 1999 at 15:36:52 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

From Sigmoid Butterbean Tallywhacker Jones: Well, I'm down here in Texas, seems we're going thru a bitter cold spell, its down to 43 degrees out there! Its raining and everything. Whew, better stay under wraps. I notice an Algerian got caught at the Canadian border with bomb materials in Washington state. If they try that shit down here, they're gonna get a Texas style welcome they won't forget. Omaha Beach, motherfuckers! Remember it! It can happen again!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 03:25:06 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

This is Sigmoid Butterbean Tallywhacker Jones again: You may remember me from last summer when I "scared" everybody with my "Bolton On Radio Luxembourg" post. It was a little 1,200+ word ditty I dropped on the Churn for your reading pleasure (torture?). So much water has passed under the bridge since then, my head is still spinning. I've already found my true love, and she's already blown me off. I've managed to piss Ed off for life, even though I've said I was sorry, I am not forgiven for some fucked up reason. Now I'm getting tearful phone calls from (censored) about (censored). What a shitty holiday season I'm having! Well, I just want to all to know, I don't blame the Churn, so Merry Fucking Christmas to you, too!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 04:54:40 (PST)

What churn? The churn I had grown to love has been gone for a few months now. As far as I can see, it disappeared when it became nothing more than an extension of popeye-x.com. One more thing the tearful should be crying about.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 05:17:17 (PST)

I won't stay where I'm not wanted, bye!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 05:18:46 (PST)

You want to know what cold feels like? Try stepping into your freezer for about 10 minutes. Then tell yourself that it is about 10C colder in Montreal... that translates roughly into 18F colder for you fine Americans still living in the old unit system. I just want to laugh when I hear things like "Well, I'm down here in Texas, seems we're going thru a bitter cold spell, its down to 43 degrees out there! Its raining and everything.". You know what? Well, I'm up here in Montreal, seems we're going thru a bitter cold spell, it's down to 14 degrees out there! Its snowing and everything.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 09:25:15 (PST)

Gee Frac if youd come in channel youd know what the fuck was going on, and why popeye was here now wouldnt you?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 13:13:21 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

/sound violent.wav

!


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 14:57:13 (PST)

I sit in that channel almost everyday for a few hours at a time, almost always alone. I have even waited up so I could come in during the "peak time" only to find you, also alone and paranoid about who may or may not want to talk with Doc. Do I have the wrong "peak time"?
Regardless, I was not questioning why popeye is here. I was just pointing out that there USED to be a variety of people who posted on a variety of topics. Im sure this is just a reflection of my short attention span, but I miss that. I dont think Ive seen the same gif in one month, this many times since EZ left.
When I cant find anyone in the barn, which is way more often than not, I come here to read up on what everybody is doing.
I am amazed and impressed with how much time popeye puts into his web page. It is a great page. I have even sent his url to friends. I know it is there. We all know it is there. Im bored.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 17:17:12 (PST)

Why is any of that MY fault?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 17:38:04 (PST)

Yawn...uh huh


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 17:56:19 (PST)

Reading about Frac being bored is 10 times more boring than the most boring thing I've ever said here.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 18:22:07 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Okay, children... jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, it's hard being a den mother sometimes.
The reason Popeye-X seems to dominate the Churn sometimes is because NOBODY ELSE POSTS. I'd much rather scroll thru a half-a-dozen of his posts than find that nobody has posted at all for three days. That's what this thing is here for! Everyone has the right to just scroll right past anything they consider too boring or voluminous. Posting a LOT doesn't hurt ANYTHING, not even download times, because:
1) Text downloads really fast,
2) Your browser only has to download a pic ONCE, even if that pic is repeated 50 times on the page, and
3) I clear this thing out once a month.

I just lost my fucking job 5 days before Xmas, and now I have to play den mother in here!
Don't make me spank you kids this close to Xmas (except those of you who enjoy that kind of thing, you know who you are)!

(Luna: This would be a really good time for one of your "Can't we all get along?" posts.)

GOD DAMN YOU KIDS! Merry Xmas.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 18:40:08 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Since you put it that way, Frac please go to the above URL. It is PART of a gigantic website with over 150 pages at www.popeye-x.com, you MAY have heard of it, if you clicked on any of these URL's, you'd know its all different pages, not just the same one over and over and over, so don't get too bored reading the Toiletside Reader by Dr. Popeye X at http://www.popeye-x.com, (BTW, its at www.popeye-x.com!) Did I mention? If you REALLY want to be bored, come see (at the above URL) where Dr. Forrester, disguised as Walker, Texas Stalker, tries to BORE Dr. Popeye X TO DEATH with his innocuous "yankee" posting. (this is also part of www. popeye-x.com, MY website, hint: its all written by ME!)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 19:31:00 (PST)

/me lines up for the spankings....
Sigh....Im bored too I miss someone alot, and I suck at even attempting to be a den mother


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 20:01:28 (PST)

HEY DOC!!!

Did you hear about the big baseball deal?? The Mariners are trading Griffey for Heathcliff Slocumb!! OH, they also signed some free agent named Phil Rizzuto!! >:D





A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 07:27:08 (PST)

Can't we all just get along???????????



A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 07:46:29 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Well, while we're all getting along, check out ANOTHER dazzling URL from Popeye X land (above), it is provided as a sincere gesture of entertainment to Frac and anyone else who is really sad that Otto has ruined THEIR Churn. Fortunately, since I'm here at Doc's invitation, and since me & SLi are pretty good friends who talk on a quasi-daily basis, I WON'T be shutting up, and I WILL be spamming my massive contribution to the boredom of the world. If you wanna really slag me, Frac, you need to go to the Anti Popeye X Fan Club and let it rip.

http://www.popeye-x.com/antippxfanclub.htm

Go ahead, everybody else is... Of course, you will have to face my reply, which I doubt you have the stomach for, but you're invited. Doc does a pretty good job of discrediting and ridiculing me, and this is at my own fan club! (started by me, of course) But, seriously, why waste all this hate for me here? Drain it off into a site that can use it for fuel. Unless you're too much of a coward, of course. I'm glad Doc is not a big baby like some people. He's even funny! Now, I must warn everyone... if you have no REAL sense of humor, STAY AWAY. You will be mutilated beyond recognition. I have some NASTY dispositioned pals in there, like Mugtoe, who rip heads off, and drink blood from the squirting neck. I'm like a lovely hostess compared to some of the demonically possesed assholes who hang out with me, so watch out!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 07:57:41 (PST)

the hell with getting along...

can't we all just have an orgy?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 10:15:52 (PST)

Popeye-X, what time are you in the channel?
/me wants to meet you.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 10:32:26 (PST)

I try to go in "at night", Texas time, but I will be glad to meet you anytime that's convenient for you. Really, just pick a time, I'll make time, whatever. I'd like to meet you, too. Or, you could email me a meeting time, I'll be there. I'm sorry, I am a "newcomer", I don't know all the names yet, I suppose I could look at the ARF page and do some homework, I'm such a lazy lad, you know.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 11:34:54 (PST)

I will NOT be responsible for whatever happens as a result of Luna and Popeye-X (shudder) getting together in channel.


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 11:55:47 (PST)

And I almost forgot: Mr. Niteraven, may you get a lump of coal in your stocking this Xmas.
Also, I hope Mr. Curt Schilling loses both arms in a baler accident during the off-season.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 13:47:53 (PST)

Popeye Im blushing...its been so long since someone called me a demonically possesed asshole...warms the heart really it does.


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 15:25:00 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Aw, shucks, SLi, I was talkin' about the BAD people, not the sweetie-pie ladies like yourself. The URL above is a page dedicated to my most recent HIV test (nonreactive = negative), so I'm ready for IRC, right Doc?


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 15:38:36 (PST)

Sex and the devil now we are talking some fun here, add in some baby oil (softens the skin and adds that extra lube in the right places) a pair of hand cuffs and a twister board then we will have hoilday fun. Thats what I call getting along!

One question though, why is it always Billy that wants to have an orgy? Mikey just wants to have sex of any kind so don't blame him.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 20:51:57 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

For those of you who missed it last year, or
just for those of you who now proudly wear
the antlers (Doc, I'm talking to you...) here
is the URL of the best holiday site ever.
Blessed Yule, and happy whatever that xtian
thingie is.
__The Right Nifty Reverend PaleFi


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December 24, 1999 at 06:22:33 (PST)

De Ebonics Crimmus Pome

* * * * *

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus;
And all ower da hood;
ereybody wuz' sleepin';
Dey wus sleepin' good.

We hunged up our stockings;
An hoped like de' heck;
That old Santa Clause;
Be bringin' our check.

All o'de fambily;
Wuz layin in de beds;
While Ripple and Thunderbird; Danced through dey heads.

I passed out inna' flo;
Right nex to my Maw;
When I heard sech a fuss;
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out thru de bars;
What covered my doe;
'spectin' de sheriff;
Wif a warrent fo sho.

And what did I see;
I said, "Lawd look at dat!"
Ther' wuz a huge watermellon;
Pulled by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all de years;
Santa Clause, he be white;
But looks liken us bros;
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

Faster dan a Po'lees car;
My home boy he came;
He whupped on dem warf rats;
An' called dem by name!

On Leroy, on 'Lonzo;
And on Willie Lee;
On Saphire, on Chenequa;
Dey wuz a site to see!!

As he landed dat watta'mellon;
Out der in da skreet;
I knowed it was fo' sho';
Da damndest site I ebber did see.

He didn't go down no chimbley;
He picked da' lock on my doe;
An' I sez to myself;
"Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

He had dis big bag;
Full of prezents I 'xpect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold;
To wear roun' my neck.

But he left no good prezents;
Jus started stealing my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!!

Wit my stuff in de bag;
Out da window he flewed;
I woudda' tried to catched him;
But he stoled my 'nife too!!

He jumped on dat wadda' mellon;
An' whipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon';
Dat son of a bitch!!

Next year I be hopin';
Anutha Sanna we git;
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause;
Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!!

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!

fitzie:)




A Butter Patty from:
onFriday, December 24, 1999 at 14:10:19 (PST)

Have a great Christmas everyone...!!!!!!!Monday I head out to 16 days of fun in the sun so I will think of all left behind in the cold barn except for Lord who has a warm barn at the wrong time of year.

Happy Holidays!!!!


A Butter Patty from: jarimi macaligot
on Friday, December 24, 1999 at 22:32:22 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

i want mist beautifol card or christmash. please hurry.Please


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 07:26:12 (PST)

I'm with Billy on the orgy thing. Can we get someone to coordinate this thing? Based on Alice's previous ideas, I nominate her.

Popeye, I don't think you are evil, but DAM, you DO talk an awful lot. LMAO. It's almost refreshing to see a newbie with the cahonas to speak at all. I wold like to put emphasis on the almost. ;)

The Mariners gave up trading Griffey today, and traded Alex Rodriguez to the Marlins for Dan Miceli, a hot dog, and an old moldy couch cussion from niteravens living room. I think the Marlins got the better end of that deal.

Well, I gotta go spread some Christmas cheer!!! (aka licking out old peanut butter jars and pissing on the neighbor's dog)

hempy


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 12:25:40 (PST)

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or
implicit our best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of
the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your
choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice
not to practice religious or secular
traditions at all . . .

". . and a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar
year 2000, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have
helped make America great,
(not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country or
is the only "AMERICA" in the western
hemisphere), and without regard to the
race,
creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith, choice of computer
platform, or sexual preference of the
wishee.

"(By accepting this greeting, you are
accepting these terms. This greeting
is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It
is freely transferable with
no alteration to the original greeting. It
implies no promise by the wisher
to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of
the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of
one year, or until the issuance
of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion


A Butter Patty from:
on Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 14:09:05 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hempec: I do talk a LOT. Always have. Been told that ALL my life, especialy by my mother. As a youth, my grandmother paid me $1 per page to type anything I wanted, so if I tend to post "an awful lot", maybe its her fault? You say its "almost refreshing"? That's interesting, because I almost give a flying fuck. I would like to put emphasis on almost. :) If you're looking to feel refreshed, maybe you should ignore my posts, and concentrate on something less boring, like a Frac post. Besides, these aren't words, they're chemicals, and they will rot your mind if you take the time to read them.

[Today's SPAM URL is from my website, and it contains artwork by my friend who's mad at me right now, Ed Zeppelin.]


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 14:06:53 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Hey, Luna, PPX here... I heard you were the "nicest person" in here, and you were happily married to Dave, so I was told "don't even try it", try what? Nevermind. I never "try" anything. In fact, I'm sure I have a story all about that... but I won't spam on it right now, I just wanna say, I'm still curious to meet you, when are you in channel? I wanna meet somebody nice before I get lynched by an angry mob. Of course, SLi will kick their butts if they try, so I feel pretty safe, but with Frac, Hempec, and Ed dissing me, I may not be socially acceptable for very long. Better catch me before I slip in standing. I'm sinking fast, and I don't want to take any "nice" people with me. See above to URL for proof of "sweetie guy" credentials, its a picture of my sweetheart. Anyway, hope to meet you soon!


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 21:25:57 (PST)

awwwwwwww a kitty!


anyway... popeye-x:
i am in the channel around ummmm 11pm ET all this week. i am on break from school so this is probably your only chance to meet with me. i hear that you only come out at nite so i am drinking lots of coffee waiting for you to show.

luna


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 21:38:50 (PST)

I CAN see the humor in this, but DAM!!!! Popeye, you will KNOW when I am dissing you, and my previous post was just a good-natured barb. I don't "diss" people I haven't met yet. You ARE becoming a foul, cancerous growth, however. I'm not denying your right to post whenever, or whatever you like. You could at least have something worthwhile or funny to say though. Random posting for the hell of it does tend to get old. I understand that you probably require a lot of attention in your life, though, so I say post, and post often....just try to add some humour to our lives that does not revolve around quantitative drivel. I get enough of that at work.

Hempy


A Butter Patty from:
on Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 23:00:20 (PST)

ED!!!!!! Where have you been???????


A Butter Patty from: Mugtoe
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 02:28:06 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Y'all are the shit. SLi made me laugh my ass off. She is just the sweetest little wench I've ever talked to. I insist that all you heathens stop in at the Ranch and talk some trash. Warms my heart to know that there's a group of folks who have managed to triumph in spite of genetic adversity. I leave you with the warmest of benedictions. Don't step in it though; it's fresh. Look at that steam. I'll really try to be on my best behavior. Neva Grace told me that there was such a gatherin of folks somewhere down in the deep, dark recesses of the net, but I didn't believe her til now. Y'all are all just so cute that I wanna spank yer little behinds and make you lie on top of me naked til you behave.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 07:04:34 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Alright, a "Luna *sigh*" post at the anti ppx fan club! That is the coolest! For the first time, I'm actually embarrassed at myself, Luna is going to be a very healthy influence on PPX's shenanigans.

Lord FlashHeart gave me a great backhanded compliment, he told Beffy, "ppx is the midas of trouble". I almost blushed with pride! Nonetheless, I can already tell knowing Luna will help to dampen that tendency, which has got to be a good thing, right? No danger of my "natural talent for turmoil" fading away, but a little padding will be nice, eh?

Speaking of turmoil, I see Franky Boy (the notorious Mugtoe) has been here, and he's taken a shine to Sli! This is wild, its like a DNA collision.

Hempec, I know your just kiddin', so am I, dude! *wink* Still, we both know there's a strong element of truth in our "humor". Tip: The best way to get less posts out of me is probably NOT giving me something to respond to. Humor quotient: Hey, I ran our posts thru my humor analysis software, and my posts come out 37% more consistently humorous than yours, and a full 97% more consistently humorous than Frac's, so you guys need to hone up on your "humor concentration densitites", if you really wanna compete with the "Midas Touch".

Maiden Ice: You asked about Ed being absent... its MY fault. He warned me, but not good enough, and I slipped up and got him in trouble with his lady, so he dropped out of sight, and he's royally PISSED at me right now. That is a situation that is unusual in that it really is EXTREMELY regretable from my point of view, and it is my hope to someday reverse the situation. Ed Zeppelin is one of the coolest people I've ever met in my life, and it just goes to show that being "the midas of trouble" is not always the happy-go-lucky frollic it might appear to be on the surface. Once again, I apologize for ruining a really good thing. I just went to far. If I had known, I would have certainly held back, but I wasn't warned ENOUGH. Plus, I was lulled into a false sense of security by the fact that Ed is such a radical intellect. I still have hopes he will forgive me someday. Maybe Luna's influence will help steer me out of this regretable type of thing, of course, any direct CACA heaped my way will be met with more of the same, only probably worse, right Frac? hehe.

Me & Mugtoe are not to be fucked with. We just snagged a major moron, named "God", over at the Spread Eagle Ranch message board (http://www.spreadeagleranch.com), and we are going to wear that fucker DOWN and OUT, just you wait and see. By the time we get thru with him, he's going to be the next Tacki Fishkebob. i. e. a deranged babbling idiot who can't shut-up to save their ass.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 07:29:04 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

For those who choose to get plastered on New Years :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 09:21:20 (PST)

Popeye, you must have either the MAC version of the humor analysis software, or the unpatched IBM version. The latest version of the software has my posts a staggering 138% funnier than yours. I don't mean to brag, but I am the SHIT!!!! My funny bone is probably just a bit larger than yours, or you are just too old to realize it. Anyway...just tread lightly mister!!!!! BTW...my humor analysis software took major points off for name dropping!!!


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 11:16:35 (PST)

This is a contest??? why didn't anyone tell me?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 12:29:22 (PST)

LMAO, Hempec. Touche.


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 13:28:34 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Luna, nobody told you it was a contest because there's no "topping" Luna, and everyone knows that. You kinda glide over the top of the mess, but some of us dirty dogs gotta scrap a little to get squared away. Its all part of a pack mentality that sweethearts like you naturally rise above. We're not fightin', we're playin'. We will respond to your wisdom every time, just try us. We're good boys at heart, right 'Pec?


A Butter Patty from:
on Monday, December 27, 1999 at 16:21:28 (PST)

There I was with my bag of popcorn and bottle of Pepsi only to discover that the dick measuring contest was over before it started. Does this mean we can all play nice now?


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 06:12:14 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

There's still a big pissing contest left on the schedule. All the boys are going to "swordfight", then, we're going to play "bomber", and destroy all the floating material. Then, it will be Y2K.

SPAM link = for all the lovers at the Churn...


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 08:29:49 (PST)

So the other day I was looking at the mail and I had received something that was not a bill. I was all excited at handwritten address to ME on the front, and when I opened it, it was a byoo-t-full wedding invitation. I was all consternated, though, that I had NO idea who these people were. WTF? Then I realize its frac and oggie gettin marred. (but it really took like 20 minutes of hard thinking to figure it out) :|

Good Luck you guys! I wish I could be there. Take pix!

julie

btw, a certain ME happened to get marred...again...on sunday :)


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 11:06:19 (PST)

OMG!

JULIE!!!! CONGRATS GAL!



A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 13:05:25 (PST)

All these people getting marred... Doesn't anyone get married anymore?


A Butter Patty from: The Celery Stalker
on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 14:24:58 (PST)

I'm engorged to be marred, but she doesn't know it yet, so don't let on.


A Butter Patty from:
on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 15:42:28 (PST)

CONGRATS MRS. JULIE!!!








A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 00:08:10 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

My New Year's Eve gig, mixing sound on the
main stage.... so when you are all huddled in
your well-armed and food-stocked Y2K Amish
barn-bunkers, think of poor PaleFire,
freezing in a sea of drunken chaos! I think
it should be a lot of fun..


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 04:54:52 (PST)

Hm.....drunken brawl or warm barn....it's a toss up for me. I suppose it depends on the availability of stud puppets at the function. Of course, would a drunken hunnie muffin be of any use to me by the end of the night?

Hm...I must continue to ponder.....


A Butter Patty from: Mugtoe
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 05:05:46 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I used to be such a nice fellow. I went to bed at a decent hour every night after saying my prayers for the sake of the great unwashed. I always slept the sleep of the righteous unencumbered by troublesome dreams. The work ethic coursed through my veins as a raging torrent. I was wise, fair, virtuous, and just.

Recently things began to change. I moved to the big city and began cavortin with them showbiz types. I dabbled in mysteries and stayed up late with the cafe trotters. My complexion assumed a nightclub pallor, and my eyes became bloodshot and puffy. I have searched the world over through this machine at my fingers looking for the source of the evil that corrodes the once proud fabric of my character. I believe that I have found that source.

Those infernal Amish. Their nocturnal clamors and scraping of rakes has unsettled my nerves and driven out every last shred of moral decency I once possessed. Would that they were the lot of them consigned to the conflagration of their abominable barns. My soul has no peace, and I am left to wander the earth for the remainder of my days.

At least I can find some solace in the sure knowledge that I am not alone. That siren song that led me to the nadir of despair and wrecked my hopes upon the rocky shore of calmatous Cyber was nothing but the rustle of rakes against the brittle leaves of the autumn night.

Truly there is no hope.

You are all very beautiful.


A Butter Patty from: Mugtoe
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 05:08:23 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Jesus H Christ, I should get more sleep. I write the stupidest goddamn crap at 0700 with the remains of last night's chemical soup poundin in my head. For Christ's sake, Doc, please don't let that ridiculous post stay up. Geez.

:o)
oxox


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 06:26:11 (PST)

Leave it up! Leave it up! Mugtoe should not be allowed to edit his own stuff, he's too close to it!


A Butter Patty from:
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 10:32:51 (PST)

Okay...I promise not to stay on the phone with Mug til 3am again...LOL....and Kurt...when someone tries to call you at nite to beckon your ass to the barn...at least answer the damn phone....sheesh


A Butter Patty from: Kurt
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 12:37:07 (PST)

Sorry, I've been too bummed out.


A Butter Patty from: snook
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 20:45:44 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I visited the shitlist for the first time and saw my own brother made the list. I agree with the decision to ban him for life. Sex with a girl wont cure him of judgement without experience. I havent asked Matt; but it seems to me that Matt is the only one on the list Doc didn't have sex with.


A Butter Patty from: Doc
on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 22:42:56 (PST)

Not true: Your bro was good, but not as good as you. Come back to the barn girlfriend!


A Butter Patty from: snook
on Thursday, December 30, 1999 at 00:42:59 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

i throw the barn doors open and im greeted with starving cows and an empty nick list. and you let the butter melt. jesus freaking gods. you'd think corn doesnt grow at this time of day.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 30, 1999 at 07:31:44 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

I would like to publicly apologize for raggin' on you, Frac. I talked to you in channel and you were very nice. Of course, everything you said negative about me originally was 100% true, but I never let the facts get in the way of my big mouth. I'm sorry, Frac, can we be friends? I hope so. If anybody else wants to be friends with me, let me know, we can arrange a good misunderstanding, and begin the evolutionary process towards full friendship. I am also accepting applications from anyone who might want to skip the "friction" intitiation phase, and move directly onto treasured friend status, like Luna. At this rate, I should be in position to run for office by the spring, SLi has agreed to be my campaign manager (she doesn't know it yet, so please keep it under your belt...) Thank you for your attention, and don't forget to vote a straight PPX ticket.


A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 30, 1999 at 07:55:09 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

Beta version of Windows 2000 available for
purchase now! Click the above link for
details!



A Butter Patty from:
on Thursday, December 30, 1999 at 08:57:12 (PST)

Man, I think I am gonna cry!


A Butter Patty from:
on Friday, December31, 1999 at 09:46:28 (PST)

My brethren,
This will probably be the last post of the old year and no one will see it, but I decided to churn one out anyway.

To ppx: You have now taken a moment to publicly apologize twice in the churn. I find this, in the very least, commendable

To everyone: HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I look forward to clashing rakes with you in the new year.

To Ed Zepplin: Where you be, my brother? Give me at least a sign that the English have not converted you to their deviant ways.

*smooches*

lisa


A Butter Patty from: KO
on Friday, December 31, 1999 at 15:16:05 (PST)
You should look at thisweb page.

That wasn't ppx, it was the real KO. Ok, worthy of commendation at the very least, what do I get at the very most? I might be open to changing my rancid "personality" completely around, if there's something in it for me. I'd even be willing to be more considerate of others, as long as I get my cut, and give me an extra kickback on the side. I'm not greedy, neither. For a straight 10% off the top, I will behave on a timeclock in shifts, but I want overtime and a half for public apologies, and I want tickets to see Forgive And Forget with Mother Love. See it? Screw that! I wanna star on it!


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